# National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Thread



## MaxPower (Jan 30, 2003)

Instead of continually derailing the Christmas Lights Thread, I thought we could start up a National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation Thread with our favourite quotes, moments etc.

So, The most enjoying traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Thith tree is a thymbol of the thpirit of the Griswold family Chrithmath.


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## RevMatt (Sep 10, 2005)

As a cat lover from a family of cat lovers, there will be no more defining memory for me than the yowl followed by the lights going out.


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## Ramboman (Dec 13, 2004)

Just off the top of my head......

"She would Clark...but her eye lids are frozen..."

"That there is Snot....."

"Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead...."


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## yo_paully (Sep 20, 2004)

So many to choose from...

***

Cathrine: "We were going to call. But, Eddie wanted to make it a surprise." 
Eddie: "Yeah, you surprised?" 
Clark: "Surprised Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am rigt now."

Audio Clip

***

Eddie: "Well, don't go putting none of that stuff on my sled Clark. You know that metal plate in my head?" 
Clark: "Ah! How could I forget?" 
Eddie: "I had to have it replaced, because everytime Cathrine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about a half-hour or so. So, over at the VA, they had to replace it with a plastic one. It ain't as strong. So, I don't know if I ought to go sailing down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brain but a piece of government plastic." 
Clark: "You really think it matters Eddie?" 
Eddie: "Well, see the plate runs right underneath the part here. See, over here, nothing. But, here if this gets dented, then my hair just ain't going to look right."

Audio Clip


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## MaxPower (Jan 30, 2003)

yo_paully said:


> Eddie: "Well, don't go putting none of that stuff on my sled Clark. You know that metal plate in my head?"
> Clark: "Ah! How could I forget?"
> Eddie: "I had to have it replaced, because everytime Cathrine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about a half-hour or so. So, over at the VA, they had to replace it with a plastic one. It ain't as strong. So, I don't know if I ought to go sailing down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brain but a piece of government plastic."
> Clark: "You really think it matters Eddie?"
> ...


That's one of my favourite lines :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:


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## Mrs. Furley (Sep 1, 2004)

Great thread! I haven't yet watched it this year but this is making me very excited to watch it, as I do every year.


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## MacDaddy (Jul 16, 2001)

Just watched it the other day afte picking it up. A few of my favorite lines:

Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
Eddie: Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark. 

Clark: 'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary: That's my name.
Clark: No sh*t. 


Ruby Sue: Rocky bit my thumb. He's nervous.
Clark: Nervous or excited?
Ruby Sue: Sh*ttin' bricks.
Clark: You shouldn't use that word.
Ruby Sue: Sorry. Sh*ttin' rocks


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## MannyP Design (Jun 8, 2000)

Ellen: What are you looking at? 
Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an a$$hole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer... 

[Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet] 

Eddie: Sh!tter was full! 
Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked our sh!tters, honey?


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## MaxPower (Jan 30, 2003)

(Paraphrasing)
Rusty: But Dad, that won't even fit in our yard!!
Clark: It's not going in our yard Rusty. It's going in our living room.


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## RobTheGob (Feb 10, 2003)

If that cat had nine lives, it sure used 'em all.

By *far* the best line.


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## Bud Bray (Oct 31, 2005)

And the mother of all rants...
Clark: "...And I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spineless, worm-headed sack of monkey s**t he is! Hallelujah! Holy s**t! Where's the Tylenol?"


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## capitalK (Oct 21, 2003)

Clark: Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace. 
Aunt Bethany: [turns to Lewis] What, dear? 
Nora Griswold: Grace! 
Aunt Bethany: Grace? She passed away thirty years ago. 
Uncle Lewis: They want you to say Grace. 
[Bethany shakes her head in confusion] 
Uncle Lewis: The BLESSING! 
Aunt Bethany: [they all pose for prayer] I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands/ One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. 
Clark: Amen.


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

taking the easy route:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097958/quotes


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## Bud Bray (Oct 31, 2005)

Sonal said:


> taking the easy route:
> 
> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097958/quotes


That's CHEATING! (wish i'd thought of that!)


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## capitalK (Oct 21, 2003)

I used it. I'm a fan, but not a big enough fan to have those lines committed to memory.


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