# please help: adopt my cat



## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

hi there. this will be long but bear with me.

we recently adopted two (addtional) cats. the older one is unfortunately not integrating well with our original two, so in order to be fair to all, we have decided to find him a new home, though it breaks my heart to do so.

he is a gorgeous ginger and white, longhaired male. he is just under a year old, the vet from whom we got him thinks. he has already been neutered and vaccinated by her, but not declawed, and we would prefer to give him to someone who wouldn't do this.

he is extremely friendly and affectionate. our little kitten, harry, gets along with him quite well. the problem is he has had a couple of scraps with our other resident males, mojo and pollock, when we have tried to introduce them. mojo now hides under the sink when he hears lionel talking (he gets lonely!) from the other room, and pollock (6 years old) just defends his territory and reacts to lionel as if he's an intruder.

lionel just wants to be friends, and play, as he's still really a kitten, but if pollock gets aggressive he'll fight back to defend himself. we have kept them separate since, and have little hope of integrating him. thus, we feel he will be best in a home where there are either no cats, or another little kitten like our harry, as they both like to play.

lionel's background is unknown. peter works at a pet store, so a lady came in to post a sign about him. a lady vet in stratford had seen him around her country property, and given the way he hung around for food and seemed to want to come in, she felt he had been "dropped off" in the country, and estimated his age in december at about 10 months.

he is very affectionate and vocal. he purrs and talks a lot, and will share your pillow if you let him! he just needs a loving home. i'd love to keep him, but short of us renting an additional apartment, i don't know how to manage it. he is the silkiest cat i have ever met, and his eyes are just stunning. the photos below don't do him justice.

he is an indoor cat at the moment, but if you live in the suburbs i'm sure he could handle going outdoors again if you prefer not to keep a litter box. i would never let him outdoors in the city.

if you are interested in welcoming lionel into your home, please let me know. you can ask questions in this thread for all to read, or you can pm me and i can give you my cell number.

thanks for reading.


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

a couple of things i should add:

we're in north toronto. i can bring him anywhere accessible by the tcc, or via york region transit or mississauga or brampton transit, as i normally have a gta weekly pass.

he eats dried food so you don't have to worry about being hassled at "mealtimes" as you are by other cats who are fed mainly with canned food. he is fully litter trained so don't worry about any accidents.

he is free of course to a good home. with him we can provide his certificate of current vaccinations, a cosy cat bed he likes, a couple of toys, a bag of holistic cat food, and his (clean) litter box and a bag of litter, to start you off.

he will be a wonderful companion. thanks.


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## 32bitJesus (Jun 3, 2003)

what a beautiful cat -- If I did not live in residence, I would be more than happy to adopt him. I hope you find a good home for him.


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## moonsocket (Apr 1, 2002)

wish we lived in Toronto!
We would take him for sure!


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Found a home for him yet? Just curious...I love cats.


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

MacNutt said:


> Found a home for him yet? Just curious...I love cats.


nope, not yet macnutt. 

it's only been about 7 hours since i posted...


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

He's a beautiful cat. I'd take him, except that my three have only just worked out their equilibrium since Blue (number three) moved in 2 years ago. I think they'd protest having to adjust to a fourth.

If you can't find a home for Lionel, you may still have hope for integrating them, though it can take a long time. It was about 4 months before we let Blue roam freely about the house without supervision. Even now, there are some minor fights, and the existing cats can be a little nervous when they get too close to her. (This is greatly eased by the fact that they've divided up the space very well.)


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

i would LOVE to keep this guy. i'm just not sure that pete is willing to keep him separate for 4 months-?? although we hate to play favourites, we have to keep the older cats' interests first.

i wish i could see six months into the future to see if they will integrate or not...


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## gastonbuffet (Sep 23, 2004)

let me start by saying that i would love to help out, but can't. 
so now that the serious answer is out of the way, let me at least help with a "bump" by saying the 2 things that came to mind when i read this thread.

Couple of years ago my sis husband (big cat lover) showed me a home video that he picked up on the web, it was like a small ball of wool( for knitting) attached to a ceiling fan, ON. Of course, the wool ball kept spinnig, and that made it appealing to the cat that was standing in a table right below it. So much, that the kitty took a swing every time the ball came around. Until he caught it. So the little felow starts spinning around the room, for a good 10 seconds, until he gets launched straight to the wall.
That was the funniest thing i ever saw online, hands down. Well, if i bring Lionel home, spinning on a ceiling fan would be the safest place for him in my house, with my two large dogs, who, bty, can jump over 6 feet.


The second thing that came to mind is a solution to autopilot' s dilemma.

Get a Dog!!!! Cats are smart cookies, you throw a dog in the mix, and rest assure that the kittys will no longer fight among themselves, they'll have a bigger fish to fry.


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

gastonbuffet said:


> Get a Dog!!!! Cats are smart cookies, you throw a dog in the mix, and rest assure that the kittys will no longer fight among themselves, they'll have a bigger fish to fry.


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## Cameo (Aug 3, 2004)

I have been looking for a kitten as I have two dogs and feel that a kitten will adjust much easier than a full grown cat. Have you seen how he reacts to dogs?
My dogs have been around cats (I had two before) and the shepard is so docile and loving the parrot we had could sit on her head. 

My parents have five cats and three of them were strays. They have adjusted to each other - although I am sure they have had their scraps - no fur flying or anything like that.

Maybe keeping them separated for a week and then just some short "visits" to get them used to each other may help. Give lots of extra love to the older ones so they don't feel the need to compete for attention. Ask the vet the best answer or the spca may have some good ideas.

What about putting the new one in a large crate and leaving in the same room as the others so they can sniff and meet that way without so much territory stuff going on? Just a thought.


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

Cameo said:


> My parents have five cats and three of them were strays. They have adjusted to each other - although I am sure they have had their scraps - no fur flying or anything like that.


we have had fur flying... not fun.



> Maybe keeping them separated for a week and then just some short "visits" to get them used to each other may help. Give lots of extra love to the older ones so they don't feel the need to compete for attention. Ask the vet the best answer or the spca may have some good ideas.
> 
> What about putting the new one in a large crate and leaving in the same room as the others so they can sniff and meet that way without so much territory stuff going on? Just a thought.


we've had lionel for about three weeks now. everytime we have them together there's hissing and growling. not from lionel but from pollock. lionel just wants to play. we had a pretty hairy fight about 2 weeks back and pete's been reluctant to put them together since then.


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

Did you introduce them immediately, or gradually? If it was immediate, maybe you could keep them separated for a while, let things cool down, and work it out under controlled circumstances. Maybe you've already done web searches on introducing felines, but here is a website with some info...


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## MacDaddy (Jul 16, 2001)

He is so cute, and he looks just like my cat, except with longer hair!

if I were in TO I would love to take him


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## Britnell (Jan 4, 2002)

*don't give up too soon*

Cats take a while to get use to changes and new family members. Don't give up on everyone getting along just yet. It may take 2 to 3 months for everyone to settle in. Make sure the existing kitties do not feel ignored or spurned.

If after 3 months the problem still exists, then it will be time to find a new home.


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

Britnell said:


> Cats take a while to get use to changes and new family members. Don't give up on everyone getting along just yet. It may take 2 to 3 months for everyone to settle in. Make sure the existing kitties do not feel ignored or spurned.
> 
> If after 3 months the problem still exists, then it will be time to find a new home.


thanks for the advice, the doug and britnell. i will show this thread to peter and hope that he can go along with this. lionel has so much personality and i would love for them all to be friends.

cheers


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## bopeep (Jun 7, 2004)

Is he intact? That could be part of the animosity it he is. 

Bo


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

bopeep said:


> Is he intact? That could be part of the animosity it he is.
> 
> Bo


lionel, mojo (1 1/2 years) and pollock (6 years) are all neutered. harry isn't, but then he's only 7 weeks old, and everybody loves him. 

we're trying the cage thing currently; pete borrowed a large one from work (dog grooming cage) for when we got harry. harry could squeeze through the bars though. 

seems to be working so far... in that they can't scrap when lionel's in the cage. mojo still keeps his distance, and pollock has hissed and growled a bit but hasn't tried to get at his through the bars or anything.

i figure we can try a couple of weeks bringing him out in the cage in the living room in the evenings and weekends for an hour or 2 at a time, and then put him back in the bedroom the rest of the time, where he has his own litter and own food set up.

after that, we'll gauge success by polly sniffing around without growling or hissing, and mojo sniffing around, period. if that seems on track, we may start letting lionel walk around free with them for short periods of time.

we're also hopeful that harry can help bridge the gap as they all interact with him.

thanks all for your suggestions. i'll keep you posted.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Autopilot...

Let me know if you ever get to wits end and can't find a place for this dude. I love cats and have a large farm that is ideal for cats. No car traffic...hundreds of acres of forest...lots of mice and birds to chase...super clean air and water...and I always make sure everyone is tucked in to the main house with me at night. Cat heaven, really.

I already have two cats and a few chickens and a pet pig...but there's always room for someone new. It's a pretty good sized farm for this island.

It's just an option. Let me know.


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

MacNutt said:


> Autopilot...
> 
> Let me know if you ever get to wits end and can't find a place for this dude. I love cats and have a large farm that is ideal for cats. No car traffic...hundreds of acres of forest...lots of mice and birds to chase...super clean air and water...and I always make sure everyone is tucked in to the main house with me at night. Cat heaven, really.
> 
> ...


thanks macnutt, i appreciate the offer.

i think i've convinced peter to give him another month, trying the new method discussed above. if it doesn't work out, i think i would like to place him somewhere local. i bet he'd love your place, but the logistics of getting him there... i don't want to stress him out any more than is necessary. just taking him across town would scare him, i think.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Understood. But a plane trip would only take four or five hours. And I have several relatives who work in the airlines. It would be pretty painless really. They ship cats and dogs all over the place every single day. My younger brother (who works for Air Canada) once shipped me a full grown skitzy Afghan hound AND a small cat in the same container. From Hamilton. They were fine. He got the Afghan (Opie) back a few years later, and the cat (Sir Lancelot) is still out here chasing mice.

Consider it a last option. I love cats, and Lionel would have a very nice home out here if nothing else works for you. You could even visit with him on yahoo messenger if you wanted to (I always have a cat or two up here in the computer loft. My cat Moon is always sitting right here beside me when I write these long winded posts. She doesn't seem to mind my ******* politics at all.) 

In fact...she seems to adore me. Might be all the fresh salmon and tuna, though.


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

*oh no....*

quote:
She doesn't seem to mind my ******* politics at all.)

oh no, a right wing red neck cat
say it aint so....


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Michael....

Cats don't have politics outside of their natural pecking order. But they DO like having a large traffic free area to wander about in and they LOVE getting fresh fish for dinner. They also seem to like a warm lap and a loving rub behind the ears.

But...you already knew all that, didn't you.


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

well, it is with a heavy heart that i must announce that lionel is going to a new home today. pete and i came to a decision that it would be best for all involved if lionel was to go to a new family.

a lady customer in pete's store saw our sign and offered to take him. she lives in a condo not far from us. we're going to drop him off today. i want to see where he's going to live, but i don't want to be a big sissy and cry.

i HATE that we're not keeping him, but maybe my not wanting to give him up was just selfish.

who knows.

anyway, thank you all kindly for your advice. consider my cat adopted.


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## Mrs. Furley (Sep 1, 2004)

Aw, sorry for your sadness Auto Pilot.  I'm sure you are doing what's best for Lionel. Be strong when you drop him off and then have a good cry on the way home.

If you feel like it, let us know how it goes.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Sorry to hear that autopilot. Parting with a pet is always difficult.


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

very hard, although i didn't cry.

while i was hesitant to leave any cat with a smoker (who obviously partakes indoors, judging by the ashtray on the coffee table), she seems like a very nice lady and she's only a block away from where pete works, which is good.

her other cat is alone, so hopefully he'll take company over loneliness. she has our home and my office number in case she decides it won't work out: i'll take that as a sign and welcome him back in a heartbeat.

poor sweet little guy. ok, excuse me while i cry now.


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## talonracer (Dec 30, 2003)

I'm sorry to hear you had to give him away, but I am happy that you did what you felt was right for all the cats. I know one of the hardest things I had to do when breaking up with my gf of 6.5 years was deciding who got to keep the cat. I made the mistake of letting her have him, and it still tears me up.


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

yeah, cats get under your skin, especially if not de-clawed
i miss my cats


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Slightly off-topic here...but only sort of...

I have two cats. Moon and Fendi. Moon is a long haired black female who absolutely adores me, but is very shy with strangers. She is a silent shadow who follows me everywhere. She is always sitting right beside me as I write all of my posts. She sleeps on my pillow at night.

Fendi, on the other hand, is a long haired grey female who instantly loves anyone who walks thru the door. She is a big talker and has a sweet personality. She regularly sits on total stranger's laps and purrs like crazy. She sleeps next to the door at night , ready to welcome anyone who might drop by with a happy "prrrt". She is usually at my feet as I write all of my posts on this forum.

These two fuzzy buddies are my very best friends. I like them more than I like many members of my own family. They make my house a home.

On friday, at 3PM, Fendi died. She had a massive inoperable liver tumor. We did an ultrasound and the vet gave me the bad news. She was in some pain at that point and had lost quite a bit of weight (although she was still eating). I had to make a very hard decision. One of the hardest of my life.

I buried her under an apple tree here on the farm. Moon sat right by me while I was digging the hole. Nearly tore my heart out. I still haven't gotten over it.

Why and how do we get so darned attached to our four legged buddies? Why does it affect us so much when they pass on?

This thing hit me like a ton of bricks...and I consider myself to have a pretty hard shell. I've lived through all sorts of nasty sh*t in my life...seen all sorts of evil crap, and walked away without a second thought. Watched people I knew get blown into the next reality, and then went and had a hot dog and some sangria fifteen minutes later. Never batted an eye. I pride myself on this Highland indifference to mortal limits. Gives me an edge over the average cretin.

But this happy little seven pound ball of fur whom I'd only known for about five years dies of natural causes, and I'm floored. Brought to my knees with grief. Rendered powerless and reduced to tears. What the HECK?? 

Any thoughts on this?


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

macnutt,
sorry to hear about that
they are just cats and getting under your skin is what they do
they are independant, yet seemingly needy
i know it hit me hard when my 2 girls passed
they were sisters and then the 2nd one clung to me after her sister passed just after i found her after she jumped out the window one day
it was heart breaking

sometimes i think that cats are little people
they have such personalities

you're just a big softie i guess macnutt
enjoy her memories


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

I'm not a softie at all, Michael. I'm tough as nails. I was born hard, and I've gotten harder with time. You can't imagine some of the things I've seen...and never batted an eye. It's in the genes.

But this little cat really got to me. I can't explain why.


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

because animals don't expect much from us
that sort of "unconditional love" thing
innocence and all that
they get under your hardened skin, below the radar that you have setup
make you realize there is still some feeling
without pain there is no joy - ok so i'm getting a little bit zen here
if you have a personality that works well with cats and you have a good cat, the meshing can be something very interesting, especially for those of use without children

most of us have some need to nurture and love
cats are not imposing, physically - almost like little kids
sure one does see them for adult cats later one, but the pure and simple joy of hearing a cat purr can soothe the most bitter of hearts, tame the most savage of souls

je me souviens


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Yeah...that "unconditional love" thing can really get to you. No question about it.

It sneaks in when you are not aware of it. And sets the hooks real deep. You are completely right about that MIchael.

Trouble is, I've spent my whole life travelling light and NOT getting terribly attached to anything or anyone. I've often had to move on at a moment's notice...even after being somewhere for a year or two. Never batted an eye about it, either.

Twenty years ago I had a dog that I was terribly attached to. When he died I was crushed and I felt weak and open. I have never allowed myself to be put in such a position again. Ever. I've never had another dog because of this. Weakness is not an asset.

When I took this little grey cat to the vet I already knew what the verdict would be...and had prepared myself. I've been around animals and people long enough to see the signs. I didn't even twitch when we put her on the table for the ultrasound. The pictures told me what I already knew.

But...when I finally had to say goodbye to her for the last time...it was like someone had dropped a piano on my head. When I had to bury her, it was even worse.

What the HECK!??


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## minnes (Aug 15, 2001)

A dog can be as beloved as a cat.
It;s funny how fond of them you become, even though you know they will have a relatively short life span 10-15 years if you are lucky. It doesnt seem reasonable to get too hung up about your pet moving on, but lots of folks really form bonds with them.
I really missed my childhood dog when she had to be put down due to severe sickness. It must have something to do with being both dependent and furry. A lethal combination.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

I have no idea what drives these feelings. Or how to prepare oneself for the inevitable.

Took me by surprise. I am not usually this open at all. Nothing affects me. Usually.

But this little grey ball of fur really got under my skin.

I've gotta toughen up.


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

No Gerry, you _don't_ have to toughen up; we all know the emotions that come with the loss of a beloved pet and you don't have to try and pretend that you're immune to these emotions. You don't have to pretend that you even _should_ be immune to them.

Be glad that you had Fendi as an animal companion, enjoy your memories, celebrate her life with you, and when you must mourn her passing, DO SO. Don't even try to stifle it; that's not healthy at all. You should adopt another cat as soon as you feel it is appropriate - not to replace Fendi, that's impossible - but to continue your own life, to give another lucky feline a loving forever home, and explore the future together.

Peace.


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## Roland (Aug 15, 2002)

There's nothing wrong with getting emotionally attached to someone.... (and I view cats and pets as a friend.. person.. companion..).

It still boggles my mind that we don't extend the same kind of healthcare to our pets as we do to our human brotheran. I mean people might laugh at me... but I find that we give up too quickly on our 4 legged friends.


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

The Doug said:


> You should adopt another cat as soon as you feel it is appropriate - not to replace Fendi, that's impossible - but to continue your own life, to give another lucky feline a loving forever home, and explore the future together.


good advice, especially if Moon has been used to a companion. she may get lonely now.

she may welcome another adult if she would like the company, but even the most territorial of cats (our pollock is a case in point) will most likely accept a young kitten.

a lot of people think that others might perceive them as being "soft" for grieving for a pet. you need to be an animal person to understand.


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## goobertech (Jan 24, 2005)

MacNutt said:


> I have no idea what drives these feelings. Or how to prepare oneself for the inevitable.
> 
> Took me by surprise. I am not usually this open at all. Nothing affects me. Usually.
> 
> ...


I've been trying to write something but I've got nada, I buried both parents with nary a tear, I've had close friends commit suicide . I've stepped over the dead bodies of people I know , none of it bothered me , I am as tough as they come . But I can stiil come to the verge of tears if I come to think of my childhood cat , and the cat carol will make me cry but only for the same reason . and this is twenty year on . So I can't tell you how to get over the hurt , but I do regret not having another animal . My place is too small and there are some personal reasons why I can't . 

Get another cat it will not replace the one you lost but it will distract you from the thoughts of the first , and be happy you know and can name your "weakness" and it is not so base as money or vanity or power . It is a small ball of fur that you can be as weak and pitiful with and will never tell anyone and never will exploite you for it (except to get wet food)


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## gastonbuffet (Sep 23, 2004)

i'm a hitman. i take out somebody at least once a week. 

like buying frozen pizza in the supermarket. NADA

but. i remember 3 years ago a fly drowned in a bowl of tomato soup. i was holding said bowl and watch the hole thing, like in slow motion. I still can't shake that, and i know that 's the last image i'll see when somebody takes me out, unless one of my children kill me, then i'll be pissed enough to thing of the poor fly..............poor little thing............buahhhhhhhhhh







sorry to mock you guys, but i had to......(smily here)

ps: where are the goddam smiiles?


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## Wolfshead (Jul 17, 2003)

MacNutt, I really feel for you. Part of the problem with losing a pet is that most people don't understand how you feel, after all it's "only an animal". I hope you'll get another cat - not as a replacement but because you can obviously give so much to an animal needing a home. They only hurt you when they die.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Wolfshead said:


> They only hurt you when they die.


Well put Wolfshead. Very insightful.


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## Cameo (Aug 3, 2004)

One of the cats I had came down with diabetes at the age of 13 - I had to give him a needle everyday. Eventually the disease won and we couldn't control it anymore with the insulin. I had to put him down. It is putting down one of the family - but it was the best decision for Coco - he was suffering and would continue to do so. I cried for three days - couldn't get a hold of myself - went to the pound and picked up a stray. Slinky was a good cat - and though he never replaced Coco - quickly filled a void in my heart.
It hurts even the thickest skinned - only those devoid of emotion can NOT mourn the loss of unconditional love - and that is what a pet gives.

I feel for you and your loss MacNutt. I agree about getting another cat.
Never be ashamed to have or to admit to caring about another - only makes a bigger man of you.

The shame is mocking another's grief - no matter what it is over.


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

Cameo said:


> ...One of the cats I had came down with diabetes at the age of 13 - I had to give him a needle everyday...


Wow, Cameo - me too! Years ago our old Himalayan, Sumi, developed diabetes at age eight. We started out on Diabeta pills but they weren't that effective, so... we had to give him two insulin injections a day. For the first while I'd go weak at the knees and feel sick to my stomach when it was time for the shots, but soon enough it became easy to do, and very routine. Sumi got used to it too and in fact he'd often jump up on the kitchen table and wait patiently while I was preparing the syringe; such a good boy. With the insulin shots were were able to control his diabetes for about five years, all in all. In the end, the diabetes wasn't his downfall; he developed tumors in his thorax and one day, we had to make a very tough decision. 

KNOCK WOOD, I hope our Kobi and Molly never become diabetic - but if I had to administer insulin injections again, I would.


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## Cameo (Aug 3, 2004)

Yeah, it was scary at first. But I didn't have a problem with Coco - I believe he knew he felt better after his shot, so he was always around to sit on my lap when it was time. Maybe if we had discovered earlier he was diabetic then we could have controlled it for longer - but then again - he was thirteen years old too.
He only survived a year after we found out.
I too would do it again if I had to - hope never to though.


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Very sorry to hear about Fendi, MacNutt.

Reading all of these posts with my Coby cat curled up beside me. He's an aloof, standoffish cat--but almost every time I stay up working late, I find him curled up in the room with me. The other two visit me at other times of the day, but Coby always keeps me company late at night. He is the first pet I've ever had; we have been through some tough times during the last 7 years, but every late night, there he is.

He asks for very little in his life, but I think a few extra scritches tonight are in order.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Thanks. To all of you.

I really appreciate it. Really.

I've already been down to the SPCA and I may have found a couple of new buddies to fill the void. But I'm still more than a bit conflicted about why the HECK this little cat affected me so very much. It just doesn't make sense.

I've always been thought of as a bit of a tough guy. Somewhat cold when it comes to sudden shocks and mortality. I've seen all sorts of horrible things, and never been affected by it at all. Not for a minute. This stuff has never affected me before, and many have commented on this fact. I have a very hard shell.

I've had cats die before. And Fendi was not the "number one" cat around here. Moon is My cat...Fendi was everyone's cat. Almost a part of the furniture. Moon follows me everywhere. Wherever I am, she is. Fendi, on the other hand, was a roving agent in the house. She was just a happy little grey ball of fluff that instantly loved eveyone who walked through the door and greeted them as if they were long lost friends. She was the"extra cat". I barely noticed her sometimes.

But her passing has hit me like a ton of bricks.

I must be getting soft in my old age. I gotta toughen up.

My highland ancestors are frowning right now.


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## gastonbuffet (Sep 23, 2004)

Cameo said:


> I feel for you and your loss MacNutt. I agree about getting another cat.
> Never be ashamed to have or to admit to caring about another - only makes a bigger man of you.
> 
> The shame is mocking another's grief - no matter what it is over.



common, i was just trying to put a smile in a sad moment.
Do you believe i actually think that anyone who grief for any kind of loss is "weak". i don't. i'm very, very, very sensitive myself. Too much so, that's why i cannot confront sadness and resort to "jokes" to hide from my feelings.

having said that, what i do find interesting is macnutt and others who say " got to toughen up", i think macnutt is proud and happy to be able to suffer the lost, and i don't think he really wants to toughen up. I'm a firm believer that the world needs less toughening, more softness, to make it a better place. And that's why i was making my, i guess innapropiate comment now, about when he says he needs to be stronger, he doesn't, and he knows it.

But maybe i'm wrong, on everything.

so......

sorry Macnutt, i own pets myself, so i know it's hard, and in a small way, i feel your pain. and apologies to Cameo and anyone who got offended on my tasteless mock. But it's not going to be my last, so bare with me. or don't.


and to end this on a happier note (sorry , can't help it) surveys demonstrate that when you loose a pet dog, it hit's you the most, more thant cats ,ferrets, parrots, turtles, etc. So that and the fact that i'm very very very sensitive, in time i'll grief like crazy. You can have your vendetta then.


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## Cameo (Aug 3, 2004)

Well, it is quite possible that I missed the humour in it. No wishes for vendetta's at any time. I would not wish you or anyone else the loss of someone you love be it a pet or human.

I tend to forget that sometime's people do react to sadness with jokes - and I do know that some do. So......no offense and if my statement was too strong, then put it down to misunderstanding.


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## MBD (Sep 1, 2003)

I've found that I care much more for my pet then I do most people. A family friend once admitted that he was against owning and feeding pets when there were so many humans in need and I said that my pet is good, unlike most humans (but then again I don't draw such sharp distinctions between human and other animals - we're all just animals to me - humans just happen to be cursed/blessed with sentience). 

I think that with a pet, the relationship is very simple and honest, unlike the complex relationships we have with our fellow humans so attachment is much stronger. I was always a hard ass with other humans because I could justify it. I can't be this way with my pet who is honest with me about how she feels.

Maybe, MacNutt in figuring out why this affected you so much, you should see if you really always felt something before but didn't express it. You said you had a dog that hurt you before (I've lost several in my lifetime and it is very painful. I dread this with every dog I get) so perhaps you have to figure out if you just aren't showing any pain but you feel the pain. I always felt the pain but no one ever knew it - raised like a good Victorian/German I would be punished for crying or showing "weakness". But, I still felt it, I'm not a sociopath, just a hardass.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

I know that many people feel much closer to their dogs than their cats. I've had both...so I know the feeling.

My dog died a number of years ago. He was the best friend that I've ever had. I was so close to him that I swore I'd never be left that devastated again. Not ever.

So I've never had another dog.

I still have a picture of him above my computer and I use his name as my password on a whole bunch of stuff. Even though he's been gone for fifteen years now. He was my buddy. Only one or two humans have ever gotten this close to me. Ever.

And I don't trust any of them the way I trusted him. He was one in a million.

So...nowadays, I have cats. And I have really tried to not get quite so attached to any of them as I was to my dog.

Worked, sort of.

Until my cat died last week. Then I found out how much she really meant to me.

Critters are amazing. Unconditional love is wonderful. And I'm still trying to deal with the realisation of all of this.

I'll let all of you know if I finally get it figured out. Until then...I need to toughen back up. 

This stuff hurts.


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

all our cats are rescued. in the future (when they guys go) we plan to rescue older dogs that no one else wants to adopt so that they can have a good last few years.

even though their passing will ultimately be tough, we can take comfort in the fact that by being with us they will have probably had a much longer and happier life than they could have expected otherwise.

there are so many animals that need homes. so many are abused and destroyed for no reasons that i can understand. if we can provide them with loving homes and have them pass in the end of natural causes, well, there's something right that you've done in this world.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

MacNutt said:


> So...nowadays, I have cats. And I have really tried to not get quite so attached to any of them as I was to my dog.
> 
> Worked, sort of.
> 
> ...


It takes a real man to admit those kinds of feelings MacNutt. Sorry about the passing of your cat. I know the feeling well, too many times over.


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## Singer_cb (Apr 12, 2008)

*Re: Lionel*

Dear MacNutt,
Your cat sounds really sweet and I'm searching for a new cat (last cat just passed away last month at 19 years of age). I'm looking for a new cat who can take being smothered with affection, picked up, loved, loved, love. If you think he's up for that, please let me know.
I couldn't view Lionel's photos and was wondering if you would mind sending them to me at [email protected]. Also, what general area of Toronto are you?
Many thanks,
Christian


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

Mr. MacNutt lived in British Columbia, and sadly, passed away nearly two years ago...


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## HowEver (Jan 11, 2005)

Sigh. RIP.

And, whatever happened to 'bopeep?'


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## mrjimmy (Nov 8, 2003)

Wow, what a sad thing to suddenly reappear. 

Very apropos for this dreary spring day.


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## Singer_cb (Apr 12, 2008)

*Re Mr. MacNutt*

Oh my god! I'm sorry to hear that. While searching for adoptable cats, this thread came up - very near the top of the Google's listings. I guess I missed the post date completely.
I did find a lovely little cat who is perfect for us - I'm just sorry to hear about your friend, Mr. MacNutt.
Best to all.
Christian


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## RicktheChemist (Jul 18, 2001)

.


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## dona83 (Jun 26, 2005)

My my what a beautiful day it is today isn't it.  All the great people part of our lives, including those who arrive, those who move on. We're all blessed in many ways today, one way or another. Let's just all keep our hearts hopeful and kind!


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