# Royal Wedding Souvenirs



## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

Here is news** of some handy 'souvenirs' to have at the ready for when the newlyweds visit Canada. The rumours have it they'll be visiting Alberta and Quebec.

(** Apologies to those who have already heard - it being headline material and all.)

Oh, and don't trust your luck with these during the festivities.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Snapple Quaffer said:


> Here is news** of some handy 'souvenirs' to have at the ready for when the newlyweds visit Canada. The rumours have it they'll be visiting Alberta and Quebec.
> 
> (** Apologies to those who have already heard - it being headline material and all.)
> 
> Oh, and don't trust your luck with these during the festivities.


Cool. My wife and I got our invites, but they spelled my first name incorrectly, so we got another invite with the request to "fill in your own bloody names". Guess who is NOT going to be getting a doxie puppy as a wedding gift???? We were going to present it to them when they came to the Calgary Stampede in July.


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

Dr.G. said:


> Cool. My wife and I got our invites, but they spelled my first name incorrectly, so we got another invite with the request to "fill in your own bloody names". Guess who is NOT going to be getting a doxie puppy as a wedding gift???? We were going to present it to them when they came to the Calgary Stampede in July.


Standards have fallen to a dismal low. I think the Lord Chamberlain has been carousing too much with Phil the Greek.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Snapple Quaffer said:


> Standards have fallen to a dismal low. I think the Lord Chamberlain has been carousing too much with Phil the Greek.


:lmao::clap::lmao:

Well, it was the principle of the matter. I spell my name with a "c" and NOT a "k".


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

*Pictures being worth 1000 words and all.....*

*Pictures being worth 1000 words and all.....*



Snapple Quaffer said:


> Here is news** of some handy 'souvenirs' to have at the ready for when the newlyweds visit Canada. The rumours have it they'll be visiting Alberta and Quebec.













Snapple Quaffer said:


> Oh, and don't trust your luck with these during the festivities.


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

*Garden gnomes, too!*










Royal wedding gnomes expected to bring perfect bliss to B&Q | Business | guardian.co.uk


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

Snapple Quaffer said:


> Oh, and don't trust your luck with these during the festivities.


Thanks Snapple. Please note that there are other options for goating your royal rockets off....




+
YouTube Video









ERROR: If you can see this, then YouTube is down or you don't have Flash installed.


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

*Prince william and kate middleton lifesize cardboard cutout*

PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON (ROYAL WEDDING 2011) - LIFESIZE CARDBOARD CUTOUT










OK, now I think I need one of those royal barf bags......

And of course, key - freaking - rings.... ONLY  £15... 










This is lining up to be the tackiest royal wedding in history....


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

rgray said:


> This is lining up to be the tackiest royal wedding in history....


And speaking of 'tacky' how about this POS...








 Prince William & Kate Middleton engagement satire coaster.

Satire?? Puleeze!  Pass the royal barf bag.....


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

.


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

rgray said:


>


Which, as a friend just pointed out, raises issues with regard to an *heir* to the throne...


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## chasMac (Jul 29, 2008)

I can't help but wonder if those have the Royal Warrant of Appointment printed on them like my box of Weetabix.


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

rgray said:


> Which, as a friend just pointed out, raises issues with regard to an *heir* to the throne...


The disclaimer on those condoms is that they are commemorative only, and not intended to actually prevent pregnancy or STIs.


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

The Wedding is on a Friday which, being a National Day of Rejoicing, has been declared a holiday so that we can all go bat-s**t, flag-waving hysterical without having to phone in sick. Then there's the weekend followed by a Monday which is a Bank Holiday. A four-day bender beckons.

To mark the event, this tasteful commemorative plate has been produced.






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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

Princess Diana doll firm cashes in on Kate Middleton | Mail Online


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

It's Diana 2.0.

Where's my sick-bag?

(Memo to self: Must carry a few around with me at all times - until April 30th at least.)


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Bah. My Royal Wedding Pop-Up book from the Charles and Diana fiasco seems antiquated now.


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

Macfury said:


> Bah. My Royal Wedding Pop-Up book from the Charles and Diana fiasco seems antiquated now.


I know I'm going to regret asking this Mf, but what, exactly, pops up?


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

Not entirely sure these are any more tasteful.....








Knitted Royal wedding souvenirs show line-up including the Archbishop of Canterbury and a couple of corgis | Mail Online


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

*Armed troops to ensure enjoyment of royal wedding*

Not quite Royal Wedding 'Souvenirs' stuff, but ...

... we _will_ be happy on the day. Steps are being taken to ensure that that will be the case.


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

Even a souvenir comic book!! Royal wedding: lookalikes, unofficial souvenirs and stunts for Kate and William's big day - Telegraph

Royal wedding: Prince William and Kate Middleton tea towels banned by palace - Telegraph with examples of why they are banned.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

KC4 said:


> I know I'm going to regret asking this Mf, but what, exactly, pops up?


Well, whatever it is, it only popped up twice.


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

Macfury said:


> Well, whatever it is, it only popped up twice.


Deniable, outrageous rumour has it that it only popped up once.






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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

More thoroughly disgraceful 'souvenirs' for the masses to choose from.

Every gentleman with a thin thatch knows that the best protection against the Sun's harmful rays is a white kerchief knotted at the four corners, Gumby-style. Only a common arriviste would stoop to using a red one. 
It's inconceivable that William would sport a red pocket square like some gypsy vagabond!


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

The moment Prince William first clapped eyes on Kate Middleton in THAT dress at uni catwalk show is recreated for Royal movie | Mail Online

Warning!!!! "THAT dress" is transprent over black underwear....... Bride-to-be top left pic....


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

Not to be left out, even Apple (iTunes) joins the tacky, banal parade of souvenirs with this entry:
The Royal Wedding - The Official Album by Choir Of Westminster Abbey & James O'Donnell - Preorder The Royal Wedding - The Official Album on iTunes






.


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

News of the bride's secret wedding list.


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

A collectors' item. Hurry while stocks last!


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

*Keeping you all informed ...*

A limited edition range of red, white and blue seed potatoes has been launched to commemorate the royal wedding.

All right thinking gardeners will, of course, be wearing their Union 'Jack' wellies** as they kneel and entrust the sacred tubers to the blessed soil of the realm.

** (Note the 'Ralated' products on the same page.)


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Snapple Quaffer said:


> A limited edition range of red, white and blue seed potatoes has been launched to commemorate the royal wedding.


What's the use? You Scots will only fry 'em up. Perhaps the wee lads and lassies will enjoy buying up royal-coloured scrapin's for a ha'penny.


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

*For those that can't get up to attend the wedding....*

Viagra beer to toast Wills and Kate wedding - The Times of India

The tag line on the beer: "Arise Prince Willy"


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

And how about this tastefully designed item ... for the upstanding royalists amongst us.


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

*The Queen consents to the marriage...*









Royal wedding: Queen's formal consent for Prince William and Kate Middleton marriage | Mail Online


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Princess Margaret's dachshund, Pipkin, became famous when he mated with one of the Queen's corgis to produce "the royal dorgis". Kate does not like Corgis, much to the dismay of Queen Elizabeth, but she does like dachshunds. So, Princess Margaret is going to give her a pair of dachshunds as a wedding gift. Sweet.


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

rgray said:


>


Gee, there's hardly any room for Bev Oda to insert "NOT".


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

Dr.G. said:


> ... Princess Margaret is going to give her a pair of dachshunds as a wedding gift. Sweet.


D'ye no ken Princess Margaret's deid, Dr. G?

That'll scair the draws off yon Kate.


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

Who needs to travel to England? Calgary has it's own Kate.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Snapple Quaffer said:


> D'ye no ken Princess Margaret's deid, Dr. G?
> 
> That'll scair the draws off yon Kate.


Yes, she died back in Feb., 2002, but this was in her will .......... passing on the offspring of her dachshund to Charles ............ who passed this "gift" on to his eldest son. 

This tradition in the royal family goes way back. Queen Victoria's husband, the German Prince Albert, brought Dachshunds to England in 1839, and presented one to his new wife, a dog that she named Dash. She had a statue commissioned in the likeness of her favorite dachshund, which she called "Dog", which was to be placed at Frogmore Mausoleum at Windsor Great Park upon her death. 

Her son, the future King Edward VII, and her eldest grandson, Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, were at Victoria's deathbed, and took possession of the royal dachshunds upon her passing. Edward VII passed on the royal dachshunds to his son, George V. Because of the first world war, George V broke with tradition and rid the royal family of all German dogs, including the beloved dachshund.

George VI, and then Elizabeth II, established the royal family tradition of corgis.

Thus, gifts of dogs in the British Royal Family go way back.

Paix, mon ami.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Canada's future should not include the GG or the Queen in any way, any longer. Lizzie and her merry band of misfits have run their time and we need to dump them all. Really. It's time to toss the Brit system entirely and be ourselves under our own system of government.


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## fellfromtree (May 18, 2005)

i'd prefer the Queen (or reigning Monarch) appoint the GG, rather than the biased partisan choice of the PM de jour.


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

SINC said:


> Canada's future should not include the GG or the Queen in any way, any longer. Lizzie and her merry band of misfits have run their time and we need to dump them all. Really. It's time to toss the Brit system entirely and be ourselves under our own system of government.


You'll be able to pass on your concerns later this year when you and your countrymen will play host to the Wills-Kate circus as it makes its first official visit abroad - to Canada!


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

Snapple Quaffer said:


> You'll be able to pass on your concerns later this year when you and your countrymen will play host to the Wills-Kate circus as it makes its first official visit abroad - to Canada!


Wonder-f*****g-ful! 

The headline writes itself: "Another pair of royals freeloads a vacation on the back of the Canadian taxpayer". 

Canadians pay more per-capita to support this crew of mooching inbreds than do the Brits.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Add in the cost of running the Gov.-Gen's department too. It makes no sense. We've been an independent country for over a century and it's time we tossed these leeches.


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

SINC said:


> Add in the cost of running the Gov.-Gen's department too. It makes no sense. We've been an independent country for over a century and it's time we tossed these leeches.


Yep, and the two soon-to-be-weds look like breeders. There will be more parasites to feed and cosset.

I would like a worldwide moratorium on all state visits. The disruption these clowns cause is ridiculous, none more so when the POTUS jets in for a freebie. Two hundred tons or more of equipment accompany the bugger, including with the wherewithal to start WW3, a regiment of aides, security twots, hairdressers, ball scratchers fan out around The Presence. Whole areas of cities are locked down.

But, all of this notwithstanding, the degree of apathy among the hoi polloi here to next Friday's BS is encouraging.


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## BigDL (Apr 16, 2003)

rgray said:


> Wonder-f*****g-ful!
> 
> The headline writes itself: "Another pair of royals freeloads a vacation on the back of the Canadian taxpayer".
> 
> Canadians pay more per-capita to support this crew of mooching inbreds than do the Brits.


Just how do we (Canadians) pay for the mooching inbreds themselves?


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

The final version of the Wedding Guest List has been passed as fit for viewing. Check to see if you're invited - morning suits I should think. Jock strap and spurs optional.

Pleased to see my old friend, Rowan Atkinson, has been invited. Always good for a laugh.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

SINC said:


> Add in the cost of running the Gov.-Gen's department too. It makes no sense. We've been an independent country for over a century and it's time we tossed these leeches.


Don't forget the cost of each of the 10 Lt.Gov's in each province. 

The Senate is like their House of Lords ............ except the members of the HoL are present far more than our Senators .............. who are actually paid a bonus each time they show up for work. :greedy::greedy:tptptptp


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

> The best man won't be best pleased - it has emerged that Prince William and Kate Middleton have *banned beer* from their Wedding reception


Royal Wedding 2011: Kate Middleton and Prince William ban pints of beer from the reception | Mail Online


OK, that is it!!! No beer, I am NOT going!


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

OK, that is it!!! No beer, I am NOT going! [/QUOTE]

I hope the bouncers can tastefully avert the _crise diplomatique_ when the King of Swaziland insists on being taken to the beer tent. My sources tell me he's been looking forward to murdering a few pints and a bit of arm wrestling with Prince Harry.


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)




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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

Never underestimate the witty malice with which our Glorious Royals take the p*ss.


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

As a sequel to all the tingly excitement surrounding The Wedding, here are some super snaps of Wills, aka the Duke of Cambridge in fancy dress, sitting on a horse, playing with his toy soldier set.

Other snaps include the rest of the clan having a whale of a time.

I do hope all of you in The Americas can view the slide show.


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