# A derogatory expression for dumb...



## gwillikers (Jun 19, 2003)

Okay, I'll start this one...

- the wheel is spinning but the hamster is gone
- the elevator doesn't go all the way to the top
- a few bricks short of a load
- a taco short of a combination plate

My wife & I just giggle at all the variations, so feel free... go for it...


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## MannyP Design (Jun 8, 2000)

- a few sandwiches short of a picnic
- a few donuts short of a dozen


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Light's on but nobody's home.


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## Mrs. Furley (Sep 1, 2004)

...not the sharpest knife in the drawer

...not dealing with a full deck (?)


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## gastonbuffet (Sep 23, 2004)

He (or she) 's got a couple of ducklings out of line.

or.... gets dizzy by changing a lightbulb.


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

Not quite the full shilling.

Thick as pigs**t

Daft as a brush/coathanger

Silly as a hat full of ar**holes


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## Mrs. Furley (Sep 1, 2004)

...dumb as a rock!

(a personal favourite)


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## da_jonesy (Jun 26, 2003)

About as bright a bag full of doorknobs


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

When I first came to Newfoundland and Labrador, and I did something "dumb", I was told that I was "as stunned as a sack of hammers".


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## Vinnie Cappuccino (Aug 20, 2003)

I think you'd be more stunned if hit with that sack o' Hammers!


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## kevs~just kevs (Mar 21, 2005)

*From West Wing*

"dumb as a bag of hair.".. not quite the same as the rest here but i find it very amusing!


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## Carex (Mar 1, 2004)

Good looking kid, not too bright. 
One beer short of a six pack.


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## ErnstNL (Apr 12, 2003)

a few frenchfries short of a happy meal

I love the word "stunned" to define our lack of gray matter, Dr. G., Also....from around the bay, the popular "Stunned as me h'arse"


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

On a coastal theme, here's a couple from the Pacific side of the country:

"He's not packin a full seabag"
"Only got one oar in the water"

But, at the very same time, if he's pretty crafty with a deck of cards, he might be "slicker than whale snot".


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

My Grandad had a word for them - "Dunderheads".


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Yeah...you get a lot of those out in the prairies...especially in summer.

That's where "dunder and lightning" comes from, isn't it SINC?

Hang on....


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## iGeeK (Jan 27, 2003)

"As swift as the current in the toilet bowl."

_Subtle_, that one. 

iG/<


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## iGeeK (Jan 27, 2003)

"slicker than whale snot"

I can personally vouch for the slickness of whale snot*. A substance which most politicians are lined with. It reduces the friction factor to a zero almost, making it possible for them to vanish as soon as they actually have to do something other than spewing circumlocution through their vent holes.

iG/<

* - A long and snotty tale...


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Not the brightest crayon in the pack.
Not the sharpest pencil in the drawer.
Not the shiniest penny in the jar.

Depriving some poor village of its idiot.
Not firing on all thrusters.


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## bryanc (Jan 16, 2004)

Strong as an ox, and twice as smart!


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Strong like Bull, Smart like tractor" (russian proverb)


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## Carex (Mar 1, 2004)

Some village is missing its idiot (mentioned above).

An uptodate version: Dumbass!!


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## poisonmonkey (Sep 20, 2004)

All foam no beer.
(S)he's not the swifted current in the sea.
All Sizzle no steak.


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## iMatt (Dec 3, 2004)

Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel.


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## Cameo (Aug 3, 2004)

Can't find a black tie on a white shirt.


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## gwillikers (Jun 19, 2003)

There's so much space between his ears, he could rent it out.


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

Got a wheel spinning in the sand


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

MacNutt said:


> Strong like Bull, Smart like tractor" (russian proverb)


Strong like bull, smart like "streetcar"
(Toronto Ukrainian proverb)


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## Hank (Feb 17, 2004)

•The nut doesn't fall too from the tree....
•You can't get there from here...
•Stay where you're at and I'll come where you're to.....
•I'm trying to think, but nothings happening.....
•If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous......
•To be in the dark is no light matter.....
•It's better to be thought a fool and keep your mouth shut rather then to open it and remove all doubt.....
•


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## JAGflyer (Jan 10, 2005)

-He's got something in his skull, AIR!

-A few apples short of an iPod

-A few screens short of a Shuffle.

-4 engines short of a 747 (it has 4 engine)

I know, they suck


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## GORDOOM (Jan 15, 2004)

So dense, light bends around him.


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## HowEver (Jan 11, 2005)

.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Wayyyy too funny, HowEver!! 

EDIT: Please don't troll Macnutt. There is a limit of how much baiting you can do in non political threads and you've past that a while ago.


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## MannyP Design (Jun 8, 2000)

WTF is this crap? Stick with the topic MacNutt... otherwise try to remain close to the political threads if you feel the need to continually talk ****e about anyone east of you.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

I don't have to "talk ****e about anyone to the east of me". 

The newspapers and TV are already full of it! You guys are doing a great job of "talking ****e" about your own selves. And about your chosen heroes, the Liberal Party of Canada.

(say Manny...what's the Liberal corruption "count" these days? Are they up to five seperate scandals at one time? Including the lastest Olympic funding scandal? Or is it still just FOUR major scandals right now? I've lost count! Help me out here.)


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## MannyP Design (Jun 8, 2000)

What part of "stick to the topic" confuses you?


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

« MannyP Design » said:


> What part of "stick to the topic" confuses you?



don't fret mannyp, it's the lagavulin weaving its magic for macnutt


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

How about, "all salt, no spring"?


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

GORDOOM said:


> So dense, light bends around him.


now that one is a keeper


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Dumber 'n a bag of hammers.


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## FMBarron (Mar 25, 2005)

Future Darwin award winner

Just before birth, your given 10 dollars, Beauty and brains both are 6 dollars.

lights are on, nobodies home.


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

> I don't have to "talk ****e about anyone to the east of me".
> 
> The newspapers and TV are already full of it! You guys are doing a great job of "talking ****e" about your own selves. And about your chosen heroes, the Liberal Party of Canada.
> 
> (say Manny...what's the Liberal corruption "count" these days? Are they up to five seperate scandals at one time? Including the lastest Olympic funding scandal? Or is it still just FOUR major scandals right now? I've lost count! Help me out here.)


Well, it's rather long and a bit subtle, but it could be another way of saying 'dumb'.


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## gordguide (Jan 13, 2001)

I read 'em all and didn't see some I know (all of these are common on the Prairies) so here it goes:

" About as bright as a 2-watt bulb. "
" Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. "
" Dumb as a stick. "
" Thick as a brick. " Also, as a nickname; ie: "Thick Willy". Variants: " Thick as molasses ..." and " ... a few bricks short of a load. "
" Hamster brain. "
" He'd bring a knife to a gun fight. "

Regarding horses:
Implied but not said: the horse will always trot to the right.
" Put some lead in his left ear. "

Acts weird all the time:
" As crazy as a ****-house rat. "

Prairie Ukrainian version, always refers to a certain type of farm wife/bride:
" Strong like tractor, and just as smart. "

On Management:
" Couldn't organize a two-dog fight. "

On women:
" Nice legs. Shame about the hair. "

On elderly drivers:
" Watch out. Man with hat. "

General incompetence:
" About as useless as tits on a bull. "

Some of them are a bit subtle. The horse/lead one I'll give away: shoot him. The legs/hair one: Blonde.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

"Dumb as a doxie" (an expression we use around our home now that we have four dachshunds).


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

All hat, no hair.


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## gwillikers (Jun 19, 2003)

gordguide said:


> I read 'em all and didn't see some I know (all of these are common on the Prairies) so here it goes


You've reminded me of another one I heard back when I lived on the Prairies...

Dumber than a mud fence.


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Too bad ignorance isn't painful.


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## anal-log (Feb 22, 2003)

The gears aren't meshing.


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