# Anyone have any good MAC vs PC jokes?



## fuel156

I need some debate ammo tommorow @ work
can any fellow ehmacers load me up on some jokes?


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## fuel156

I'll go first.


Why are there so many virus's on Windows?
because Steve jobs only writes them for the Windows.


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## thewitt

I'm sorry...

But there has to be something better out there.


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## Macaholic

Here are a TON of dated jokes:

http://www.geocities.com/imac_driver/joke.html

** Surgeon General's WARNING: The music track playing on this page causes severe epileptic seizures. MUTE COMPUTER!**

More here:

http://fsinfo.cs.uni-sb.de/~abe/Links/Windows.html


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## kermit

Q: How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him. 

Q: How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Eight. One to work the bulb and seven to make sure that Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world.

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness™ as the new industry standard.  

Just a few here, will be looking for more!


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## murbot

The only funny one I've heard recently kind of pokes fun at the wrong camp, but what the hell, it's funny so I'll share it anyway.  

Q. How many Mac heads does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Three -- one to actually do it, one to contemplate how Steve could make it better, and one to comment that a Windoze bulb would burn out again in two hours.


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## Bosco

Microsoft...a corporation named after it's founder's penis.


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## Sonal

Sure, I could compare PCs to Macs. But I make it a point to never argue about religion.


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## Kosh

I still think the biggest joke of all about the PC is that you have to press the START button to Shutdown a PC. I can still hear that Abott and Costello knock-off:

PC-User: "How do I shut off my PC".
Tech Support: "Click the Start Button..."
Pc-User: "No, I don't want to start up my PC, it's already started. I want to shut it down!".
Tech Support: "Yes sir, go to the Start Button..."

[ November 03, 2004, 11:10 AM: Message edited by: Kosh ]


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## yo_paully

Here's a joke: Windows.

Get it? Windows IS a joke. 

...Ahhhh, nevermind.
________
GN125E


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## K_OS

Q: How many Macs does it take to play Doom3?
A: Sorry Doom3 is not available for OSX yet.


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## Macaholic

Actually K_OS, ONE G5 will do  

http://www.ehmac.ca/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=009096

This is an unprecedented event: the first program for the Mac platform that a G4 cannot run


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## Macaholic

Here are two Mac vs PC joke:

Joke 1:
The setup:
http://www.apple.com/quicktime/qtv/specialevent04/

The punchline:
http://www.zolknetwork.com/downloads/files/monkeydance.mpeg

Joke 2:
The setup:
http://www.theapplecollection.com/Collection/AppleMovies/mov/steve.html

The punchline:
http://www.ntk.net/media/developers.mpg

Which leader do yo prefer?


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## ice_hackey

Those jokes are all so "Ford vs. Chevy" it's not funny.

What next, Calvin-peeing-on-a-PC?


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## Mantat

* This is an unprecedented event: the first program for the Mac platform that a G4 cannot run * 

Do I have to point out your thread about the dual G4 being good enough for a few more years?


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## K_OS

> This is an unprecedented event: the first program for the Mac platform that a G4 cannot run


The funny thing is that my 1 year old Windows box that cost me about 500.00 will run Doom3 and the Mac version requires a 2000.00+ computer to play the same game.


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## Bosco

> The funny thing is that my 1 year old Windows box that cost me about 500.00 will run Doom3 and the Mac version requires a 2000.00+ computer to play the same game


So if you wanna play games get a PC ? That's a joke.

An even cheaper way would be to buy an X-Box. That looks like something Microsoft finally got right.


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## Gerbill

Here's a really ancient cartoon from the archives...


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## jfpoole

*Actually K_OS, ONE G5 will do...*

One G5 and a time machine, you mean? Doom 3 for Mac OS X isn't being released until February 2005, after all...


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## huntersj78

*What do PC users do when their car won't start?*

They get out and then get back in.


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## RC51Pilot

murbot said:


> The only funny one I've heard recently kind of pokes fun at the wrong camp, but what the hell, it's funny so I'll share it anyway.
> 
> Q. How many Mac heads does it take to change a light bulb?
> 
> A. Three -- one to actually do it, one to contemplate how Steve could make it better, and one to comment that a Windoze bulb would burn out again in two hours.


heh - there's a lot of truth to that one.


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## WestWeb

*The Time Machine*

Mac and PC had been bickering for so many years about who was better at what: so, they finally decided to have the greatest computer nerds of our time set up a gauntlet of a test, a grueling showdown to finally see who was more superior! 

Who would get the most work done from a list in the time allotted was going to be a tight race for sure. PC with its massively upgraded hardware was so powerful you could feel the heat coming off it(even with a liquid cooling system); yes PC would be a hard opponent to beat no doubt. Mac with it's smart streamlined interface, logically laid out, stable OS, and of course the good looks as well looked almost out of place in such a grueling test of speed, endurance, and usability.

The race began with a flurry of noisy key hits(from the old windows keyboard of course) 
The PC was almost ahead with its incredibly fast hardware and Mac was just keeping up with its intuitive software taking most of the guesswork out the tasks confronted.

They Typed Documents
they wrote and sent emails
they sent emails with attachments
they downloaded files
they produced movies
they wrote music pieces
they created photo albums 
they put together a family tree
they built a slide presentation

Mac worked with incredibly smooth efficiency smiling as he went: while PC, with a set frown and jaw, worked through everything(including multiple error messages) with blazing fast speed.

Just before their time was up lightning flashed in the sky, rain started pouring down, and the noise of thunder shook the building as the power suddenly died.

PC screamed a string of curse words, and banged his head on the monitor.

Mac just sighed, inwardly wishing PC would be quiet and quit ruining the well timed break they were forced into.

finally, the power came back on. PC started searching frantically, screaming: "AW %$#@ NO! IT'S GONE! ALL GONE! NNNNNOOOOOO!!!!!

Meanwhile Mac was quietly printing out all of his work from the test...

PC became very, very, irate when he witnessed this. He shouted: "WHAT THE $%#@! HOW DID YOU GET YOUR WORK BACK?!?! THAT'S NOT FAIR! YOU CHEATED!".

Mac Calmly Replied: "Oh didn't you know? We invented a Time Machine for situations like this."


HeHeHee I hope most of you will enjoy my little story. The moral here being that it's the small things that count.


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## Wiggy88

lol

the other day randomly it was fairly cold inside the library at school, and my friend said she was cold.

I told her one minute……
She looked at me like huh?
I rebooted to windows and loaded a few programs
Now i handed her the computer and told to hug it. And in no time she was all warm again

" I run windows to keep myself warm " hahaha


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## fjnmusic

Bosco said:


> So if you wanna play games get a PC ? That's a joke.
> 
> An even cheaper way would be to buy an X-Box. That looks like something Microsoft finally got right.


Or spend even less and get an iPod Touch, and the games will be super-cheap.


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## chas_m

Bosco said:


> An even cheaper way would be to buy an X-Box. That looks like something Microsoft finally got right.


Let's google "red ring of death" to see how "right" MS got the XBox, shall we? 

I have an old line I got from somewhere, possibly I wrote it myself (though I doubt it) from back when Gates was still running MS:

"You have a choice. You can buy your computer from a egomaniac, or a megalomanic. Personally, I'm going to buy from the guy who looks like he washes his hair regularly."

Here's one attributed to the novelist Tom Clancy:
"Never ask a man what computer he drives. If it's a Mac, he'll tell you; if not, why embarrass him?"

And finally, a line from a man I was proud to know, the late great Douglas Adams:
"The Macintosh may only have 10% of the market, but it is clearly the top 10%."


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## bhil

chas_m said:


> Let's google "red ring of death" to see how "right" MS got the XBox, shall we?
> 
> I have an old line I got from somewhere, possibly I wrote it myself (though I doubt it) from back when Gates was still running MS:
> 
> "You have a choice. You can buy your computer from a egomaniac, or a megalomanic. Personally, I'm going to buy from the guy who looks like he washes his hair regularly."
> 
> Here's one attributed to the novelist Tom Clancy:
> "Never ask a man what computer he drives. If it's a Mac, he'll tell you; if not, why embarrass him?"
> 
> And finally, a line from a man I was proud to know, the late great Douglas Adams:
> "The Macintosh may only have 10% of the market, but it is clearly the top 10%."


Sorry to hijack this thread, but chas, you actually knew THE Douglas Adams? That is too cool.


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