# How'd you get hitched?



## FeXL (Jan 2, 2004)

In a recent posting on another thread, Dr.G. gave a brief overview of where he got engaged.

In another, I alluded to the fact that I proposed to my bride to be at the Calgary Toy Run.

Here's the details:

My GF & I had been dating for a little over three years when I finally made the decision that she was the one. This decision was encouraged by comments from my closest circle of friends like "We like this one. Can we keep her?", etc. I went to Calgary to pick up "the rock" and had squirreled it away in a safe spot in the shop, right between the 1/2" & 9/16" Snap-On wrenches in the third drawer of the roll cabinet.

Not being content to embarass myself in a tête-à-tête, I decided that public humiliation was a far better solution. As such, I wanted some of my closest friends to be there at the time. I hadn't figured out quite how this event was to transpire, but I knew the location. After all, how difficult could it be?

Got to the Calgary Toy Run in Sep, '93. Still hadn't figured it out, but "how difficult could it be?" Tried the ring box in my jeans pocket, but it was pretty obvious-"Gee, is that a ring box in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

Tried it in my leather jacket, with the same result-"Gee, is that a ring box in your leather jacket, or are you just glad to see me?" 

Shoved it into my boot, it still bulged, but at least it was partially covered w/ my jeans. I couldn't walk without limping, but I wasn't getting asked what the bulge in my boot was.

OK, that problem solved. Ride to Symon's Valley BBQ Ranch, drop off the toys, get a table, grab a couple of bottles of intestinal fortitude. Now, location...gotta happen on stage, how do both of us end up on stage at the same time? DJ, gotta talk to the DJ! Who the hell is the DJ? Ah, that must be him playing the tunes... Went up, confided in him, gave him my door prize ticket # (and hers) and let the gods take over.

Partway through BBQ beef on a bun, my GF's number gets called. She jumps up in delight and heads to the stage. Couple more numbers get called, then mine. In the meantime, my GF has been trying to exchange her ticket for a door prize with almost everyone on stage, to no avail. The DJ had advised all involved as to what was going on and they all politely smiled, put their hands behind their backs and turned away.

When I got on stage, he handed me the microphone & I tried to put my arm around her shoulders and face her to the front. She wasn't having any part of that. She'd won a door prize and she'd come to collect, dammit! Slowly, I convinced her that she should face the front. As she came about, I spoke into the mic about our times together and how much I loved her. At this point, some heckler in the back hollered out "Why don't you marry her, then?" Man, I got enough stress in my life without that kind of hassle right now. Back off!!!

I pulled out the ring box, gave her "the rock", got down on one knee and proposed in front of about 700 cheering bikers. She said yes and we kissed. Five minutes later I was on the payphone to her folks, asking for permission to marry their daughter and 10 months later we tied the knot.

A year after the proposal (and two months after the wedding) we returned to the Calgary Toy Run and were pulled onto stage and given a bottle of champagne by way of congratulations. Four years after that, we brought our first daughter there, three years later we brought our second and two years after that, our third. I can't think of a nicer place to bring the family, once a year. 

Because of the goodwill, toy runs have always been a very special occasion to us. However, because of our history, the Calgary Toy Run will always be head and shoulders above the rest.

Je t'aime de plus en plus chaque jour, mon ami.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Hey FeXL, cute tale!

I'll relate mine tomorrow when I'm not so tired.

Nighters!


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## PosterBoy (Jan 22, 2002)

My GF and I have been together 7 years and as yet don't have plans to marry.

Although, if we did, our families would stop asking us when it'll happen....


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

FeXl...that was too COOL! Very nicely done. 

Almost brought a tear to my eye. (I usually have to rip out a few nosehairs to fake that. But this was REAL!)

Who says that bikers are unromantic mouth-breathing tattooed goons?

Nice display of style. Shows some real class. I'm bettin your lady thinks you are a prime catch, too. I'm also betting that she's really glad that she didn't end up with some beige little accountant, if you catch my drift.. 

Hat's off to ya bud.


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## gastonbuffet (Sep 23, 2004)

sweet story !!!!

Whish i had one that cute.

me and me wife did not believe in marriage, we still don't (the actual signing of a document is what we don't care about, everything else we believe in).

So one day we go:

"scru this country, let's get out of here. Let's go to Canada. Will be easier if we marry. We did. Here we are." 

Short story, but lots of love .

The party was great!!!!


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## MaxPower (Jan 30, 2003)

I had been dating my wife for about six months. We talked about getting married and my wife wanted to get married at her church so she decided to call just to see if the church would be available when we wanted it.

The next thing we know we are having a meeting with the Monsignor and he booked the church for us and we weren't even engaged. 

As I was driving home, I thought this isn't right. If we are going to get married I have to get a ring and do the proposal properly. Don't get me wrong, I we wanted to get married, we just weren't formally engaged yet. I was saving up money to buy a ring, but I didn't have enough to buy it yet. So I had to make a call to the bank of Dad on the way home to borrow the money.

I purchased the ring and I had the proposal all planned out n my mind. of course it didn't turn out exactly the way I had planned. I was going to do it at home after work, my wife would always come over after her work and we would spend the evening together. Any way she had a rough day and was laying down when I got home. I asked her to come downstairs and she was insistent on laying down. 

Finally I convinced her to come down. I sat her on the couch and in a prepubescent voice all I could get out of my mouth was "marry me?"

She said yes and we have been married for five years with a wonderful son.


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## pdksh (Aug 15, 2005)

my story is not as "moving" but entertaining.

My GF of 10+ years and I flew down to Las Vegas. We picked up a marige license at 2:00am in the morning from city hall and then we were married at the Grace Land Wedding Chapel by Elvis.

It was a Hoot!!!


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## Digital_Gary (Sep 18, 2003)

Kind of in the same corny boat as Maxpower. After being together for 7.5 years I decided it was time. The original plan was to go to our favorite camping spot. The spot in which we first hooked up actually. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate and the trip got cancelled. The ring was burning a hole in my pocket and I couldn't wait for another chance to go there since it wouldn't be for another couple months. 

She went to spend the day with her family and I stayed home. I put candles all through the apartment and had the wine on ice. Well of course, I get a call from her saying it was late and she was tired and she wasn't going to come home that night. I told her I missed her and that I really wanted her to come back that night unless she was going to fall asleep on the way home. She decided she'd come home. She walked in and saw all the candles and the wine. She said she couldn't understand why I was drinking wine since I am not a big fan. After she came and sat down beside me on the couch and told me all about her day, she finally reached for her glass of wine and saw the open ring box beside her glass. She immediately burst into tears as I got down on one knee. I don't remember exactly what I said but I am sure it was pretty cheesy. 

It has been a little over a year and my wedding day is rapidly approaching. This Saturday actually. Every-time I think about it I get butterflies in my stomach!


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## draz (Jun 13, 2005)

HEr - i'm pregnant
Me - lets get married right now
Her - WTF

ha ha

Just joking i am not married...


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

I'm in the midst of getting un-hitched..... but it's not really quite so cute a story. 

Mind you, it put is dead stop to the "so when are going to see some grandchildren?" lecture. 

I'll stop raining on the love parade now.


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## Chris (Feb 8, 2001)

After meeting and going out together for 3 years, we lived together for 8. It seemed silly to go through the whole "wedding" thing, so we booked into the Sudbury courthouse with a couple of our friends for witnesses.

The little ceremony by the judge was nice, but the best part was paying the final fees at the wicket marked "Marriages and Other Fines".


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## draz (Jun 13, 2005)

33% of all marages in Canada end in divorce. (but the up side is angry break up sex)


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

Draz, you're a very bad man.

I've been thinking … but I can't remember if there _was_ a time before we got married.

(My wife, whose name for the moment escapes me, doesn't read these forums.)


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## Digital_Gary (Sep 18, 2003)

draz said:


> 33% of all marages in Canada end in divorce.



SWEET! The odds are in my favor!!


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## sjb (Jun 3, 2005)

Had been together 3 years (after previously dating for a couple of months and then getting dumped  ) and had been living together for a year. It looked like things were going to continue so we figured, why pay rent for another year or more...so we bought a house.

Moving day...Boyfriend wakes up early, like 6:30 or so, his buddy sleeping in the next room. I roll over to try to go back to sleep, figuring I've got another hour or so before I really need to get up. He insists that I open my eyes, I really don't want to, but finally do...to see him sitting beside me holding a ring. I told him he was a freak but agreed to marry him anyhow. Woke up our friend in the process but he knew the proposal was happening. It all made sense, as boyfriend had asked everyone we know to come "help us move in". Got married 2 years later (one of my sisters was getting married the following month, the other got married the next year) and now have a 2 year old daughter with baby #2 due in less than 6 weeks.


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## Gerbill (Jul 1, 2003)

Met, went together for a couple of years, got married, had a son, lived happily ever after - 35th anniversary coming up next week.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Ah darn, I didn't think I would have to do this, but hey for FeXL, I will. (With apologies to my dear, sweet wife.)

Got drunk Christmas Eve of 1964 at a friends house while watching his sister's 14 year old son while they were at a party.

They came home around 7:00 p.m. and told us there were two nurses at the party they had been at over at my buddy's cousins house.

Over we went to check out the two nurses, but by the time we arrived they had gone to bed as they had to work that evening at 11:00 p.m.

Not being shy, I offered to go in the bedroom and wake them at 10:00 so they could dress and be off to work. You should have seen the look on their faces when a total stranger roused them for their shift.

To make amends, we offered them a ride to the hospital after they got ready. We drove them to work and had a very short conversation.

I never saw either of them again until late March of 1965 when one night in a rather inebriated state, I called the local nurses residence to see if anyone would like to go out for a coffee with me.

As it turned out one of those two gals from the Christmas Eve episode answered the phone, recalled meeting me and agreed to that coffee.

By May 1, we were engaged and we married (eloped) in Medicine Hat on October 8, 1965. In six weeks or so, that will be 40 years ago, and we are still together and I might add that I love her dearly to this day.

Not very interesting, but there ya go FeXL!


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## MacDaddy (Jul 16, 2001)

Need to find that special someone before I can get married. Need to pry myself away from the computer long enough to meet that someone. Need to liquify myself enough to ask the person out becaues I am so shy when it comes to women. But hey! I will be worth it in the end right! (Unless I end up with Draz in the thirty third percentile!)


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

draz said:


> 33% of all marages in Canada end in divorce. (but the up side is angry break up sex)


Hmmmm...last time I heard that figure it was closer to half. Slightly more, if memory serves. But it depends on whether you include all of the people from the fifties and sixties. They tend to stay together for life (just ask SINC).

Drop those lifer types out of the mix and I'd be willing to bet that the actual number of divorces is pretty close to sixty or seventy per cent for people who got married after the early eighties. That's about two thirds of all recent marriages ending in divorce.

Angry break up sex notwithstanding...if half or two thirds of all the airliners were destined to crash in flames, then I bet no one would ever set foot on one.

I know I never would.


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## MasterBlaster (Jan 12, 2003)

.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

I fly in airplanes all of the time. But I ain't been hitched....at least not yet.

Oddly enough....I still have ALL of my stuff! Including my house. And I don't have to check with anyone else before I go somewhere. Or ask someone else what my favorite colour is. Or what kind of car I like to drive. and I NEVER have to come up with artful explanations (lies) to justify my actions. I just do whatever I want to, anytime I want to.

And I can get laid without ever feeling guilty. I can even chase after girls who are far younger than I am (and often do). And no one seems to mind.

Oddly enough...I have no desire to ever get married. Never did.

Geee....Go figure.


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

More to life than stuff....
Pets are great and all....

PS, have you adopted a new cat since last year?


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

I still have the number one cat. That's enough for me right now. She's sitting right beside my keyboard as I write this. As always.


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## gwillikers (Jun 19, 2003)

It's easy to be cynical about marriage, so many failures, so many unhappy people. It's also easy to promote the benefits of independence and the playboy lifestyle. Some people were never meant to get married no matter who they might meet. But I'm here to tell you that there is such a thing as soulmates, and there are relationships that are near perfect.

Call us blessed, or lucky, or just plain stupid, doesn't matter, we're happy and we wouldn't change a thing. We're thankful, just like a person who's won a lottery is thankful.

My wife and I have been together 31 years, married 22 years, it's been great, and it's still getting better.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

I envy you. I really do.


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## SoyMac (Apr 16, 2005)

*No Wedding*

Cannot get married.

Dog won't let me.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

MacNutt said:


> I fly in airplanes all of the time. But I ain't been hitched....at least not yet.
> 
> Oddly enough....I still have ALL of my stuff! Including my house. And I don't have to check with anyone else before I go somewhere. Or ask someone else what my favorite colour is. Or what kind of car I like to drive. and I NEVER have to come up with artful explanations (lies) to justify my actions. I just do whatever I want to, anytime I want to.
> 
> ...


Gee Gerry, that's odd. I can do all of the above and I been hitched for 40 years!

Well, maybe one exception!


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

MacNutt, but have you had the experience of sharing a moment with a true soulmate? Sinc will know what I am talking about here, as do others, but I can say that I know Sinc has experienced this emotion.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

That I do Dr. G., just like yourself.

Every single day of my life for the past 40 years.

That is something special that is missing from his list, but not ours.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Okay...you guys got me on that one. 

But I have had a couple of long term relationships that were very close indeed. I know what you are talking about. Trust me on this. 

Right now it's just me and the cat. And I can pet another cat without her throwing all my stuff out in the front yard.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Not the same, Gerry, not the same. You are rich in material things, but may you someday experience what Sinc, et al, have experienced with sharing with a soul mate. As I told my wife on our wedding day, and on our 10th anniversary -- "Thank you for sharing a part of your life in a part of my life".


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

I'll remind you of this when all of your gear is spread out on the front lawn, Marc.


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

MacNutt said:


> Okay...you guys got me on that one.
> 
> But I have had a couple of long term relationships that were very close indeed. I know what you are talking about. Trust me on this.


A mirror does not count...



MacNutt said:


> Right now it's just me and the cat. And I can pet another cat without her throwing all my stuff out in the front yard.


MacNutt, ever think that your attitude maybe the problem? 
Not all women are looking to "throw" your stuff out... (Some maybe, but not all -  )


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

I'm just going by what I've seen and observed over the years. Most of my buddies have had their "soulmates" hurling frying pans at them at some point in their relationships.

And a rather large number have come home to find all of their stuff tossed out the front window. Many now have newer "soulmates".

And I doubt if "my attitude" had anything to do with the carnage.


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## PosterBoy (Jan 22, 2002)

Have you been burned in the past MacNutt? Is that why you seem to think that all marriages are doomed to failure?

Did you screw up once?


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

MacNutt said:


> I'm just going by what I've seen and observed over the years. Most of my buddies have had their "soulmates" hurling frying pans at them at some point in their relationships.


Remind me to bring my flak jacket and helmet if ever I see your buddies....



MacNutt said:


> And a rather large number have come home to find all of their stuff tossed out the front window. Many now have newer "soulmates".


Where do you find these people? Not even living in a trailer park have I seen such behaviour... 
Parties must be a real hoot....



MacNutt said:


> And I doubt if "my attitude" had anything to do with the carnage.


You mean there are other reasons! 
Repeat: Halitosis is not part of my style, Halitosis is not part of my style...


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Never been married PB. Almost...but dodged the bullet when I couldn't get her out of Cuba. As you may recall.

No...all of my experience with marriages is from close observation of friends and family over a period of four decades or so. And I haven't exactly been stuck on this little rock all of that time, either. Been out in the world. Watched what went on with a keen eye.

Pretty interesting too. 

( _pssstt....and guess what....I still got ALL my stuff! And I wake up smiling every single day. Freedom will do that for ya!)_


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

ArtistSeries said:


> Remind me to bring my flak jacket and helmet if ever I see your buddies....
> 
> 
> Where do you find these people? Not even living in a trailer park have I seen such behaviour...
> ...


Hey...I didn't say I was alone....just "not hitched". There is a difference.


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## PosterBoy (Jan 22, 2002)

I didn't ask if you'd been married before, I asked if you screwed up and all your stuff ended up on the lawn before, and if that's why you now seem so bitter about the prospect of marriage.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

No. It's never happened to me. But I can count on the fingers of one hand the guys I know whom it _hasn't_ happened to. At least once.

One buddy of mine who has been happily married to the same woman since 1980 spent a good part of the year 2000 living in a smallish cabin on his property. About a hundred feet from the family house. He still ate all meals in the house and he and his wife were on pretty good terms (he wasn't fooling around or anything)....but they had to part for a while. We called it "Danny's doghouse". 

My personal idea of the perfect relationship is to have a steady girlfriend who already owns her own place. Somewhere nearby. This means that each of you will actually look forward to the times when you do get together. Less is taken for granted.


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## PosterBoy (Jan 22, 2002)

MacNutt said:


> My personal idea of the perfect relationship is to have a steady girlfriend who already owns her own place. Somewhere nearby. This means that each of you will actually look forward to the times when you do get together. Less is taken for granted.


Then you really don't have any idea what gwillikers, Dr. G et al have.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Yeah...actually I do. I lived in a long term relationship with a lady I was crazy about for several years. Right here on SSI (I bet you've met her, too). We were extremely close and rarely ever fought. We did everything together. Then we split up. Just like so many others eventually do.

But we didn't share a mortgage and there were no children...so there wsasn't nearly the amount of angst and emotional distress that so many couples seem to go through when the inevitable happens.

And that's one of the reasons that I prefer my particular solution to life. Talk to me in four decades, and you might just find that I am on to something.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Gerry, re your comment "I'll remind you of this when all of your gear is spread out on the front lawn, Marc", you really don't know either me or my wife well enough to make an insensitive comment like this quote. ArtistSeries was quite wise in his comment that "MacNutt, ever think that your attitude maybe the problem? Not all women are looking to "throw" your stuff out..." Far be it from me to give you advice re relationships (logic and commen sense, yes, but I shall not provide anyone with relationship advice), but AS is correct in this comment. Enough said.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

"Then you really don't have any idea what gwillikers, Dr. G et al have." Very true, PosterBoy, very true. Gerry, I will be the first one to admit that it is not easy having a soulmate, but I can honestly say that meeting and marrying my wife was the best thing that ever happened to me. If it ever happens to you, you shall know what I mean.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

I'll book a U-Haul for you Dr. G. Just in case......


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

"I'll book a U-Haul for you Dr. G. Just in case......" Now you're just being stupid, Gerry. As I said, you will have some sense of what some of us are talking about/experiencing when/if it happens to you. Good luck, my friend.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

And good luck to _YOU_, mon ami.


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## PosterBoy (Jan 22, 2002)

MacNutt, if you knew what we were talking about you'd still be with your lady friend. It's pretty much that simple. No need to keep being a jerk about it.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Merci, Gerry.


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## AppleAuthority (May 21, 2005)

Wow, some hot thread here! I have zero opinions on this topic at the moment, but is it safe to ask for advice? I like someone and want to ask her out...but I don't know how . It's more of a crush situation, because she's recovering from a crush of her own, and I won't go into detail. Obviously looking at marriage is light years away, but I really care about this person and have no idea what to do. Been a year since it all began, and I'd like things to change for the better for my birthday


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

AA, be yourself, and be honest with her about who you are now. Don't try to be someone you are not. Show her some kindness and a great deal of respect. Above all, listen to what she says to you. If the chemistry is there, you both shall know it. If not, or if it is a case of unrequited love, then welcome to the club. Seriously, good luck, mon ami.


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## AppleAuthority (May 21, 2005)

Thank you once again. Next I see her I will put your words in my thoughts.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Hang on here...I should take this moment to post a disclaimer.

I actually hold out hope that ALL of us eventually find a true "soulmate" and settle down for a good long run. One that lasts until we draw our last breath on this good green earth. I MEAN it! 

And I do not want to discourage any of the younger members of this forum from pursuing this ideal. Not for one blessed minute. Honest.

Find your other half and settle down. Have children. Have a great life. Enjoy every moment of it.

And ignore this gnarly old Canadian born Scot who seems so terribly cynical about life sometimes. 

(He's just the guy behind the curtain.)


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## Pamela (Feb 20, 2003)

I've been married 5 1/2 years. Met my husband through a friend I was going to Architecture school with. It was her cousin and he was up from the States (half of her family is american) for Christmas 1999.

After a couple of days of us all hanging out we fell in love at first touch (he put his hand on mine when I held a door open for him). We spent the entire next day together realizing that we were total soul mates. Unfortunately he had to go back to the states that night...

He went home, I stayed here...we both ditched who we were casually seeing and decided to give it a go even thought it was long distance.

He came up for one weekend the following January, then for Valentine's day in February and then we eloped the weekend he came up in march.

So basically we had seen each other in person for 9 days but had $2000 worth of phone bills by the time we got married that 3rd month of knowing each other.

We didn't tell our families that we got married...didn't want to hurt their feelings as it wasn't in spite of anyone that we did it. So we got "engaged" 2 years later and "remarried" a year after that in a formal ceremony. I got really drunk last year and finally told my parents what had really happened. They were shocked, of course, but couldn't say much because we've been happily married for 5 years now....

So that's MY story.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

And a fine story it is too, Pamela.


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## Pamela (Feb 20, 2003)

Thanks MacNutty....long time no hear!


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Pam, a great story. I am able to relate to the phone bill problem, since I was here and Deborah was in Calgary. She chose to move here.......which turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.............that is until the day we were married. 10 years and counting for the two of us.


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## MasterBlaster (Jan 12, 2003)

.


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## MasterBlaster (Jan 12, 2003)

.


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## bryanc (Jan 16, 2004)

We paid the $135 and signed the paper. One of the least memorable and most irritating bureaucratic hoops we had to go through when moving to the US. The INS wouldn't let her enter the country on my visa unless we were married... 17 years of happily living together common-law wasn't good enough for them.

Despite now having been married for roughly 5 years now, I'm still very anti-marriage. I really see no reason to invite the church, the state, or the 'community' into our personal relationship. I don't mind if those of you who are exhibitionists want to have public displays in celebration of your sexual relationships (and, let's face it, that's what marriages are), and I agree that there need to be legal protections for both partners and any ensuing children should the relationship fail, but I really prefer to keep my personal relationships private. My wife feels the same way, and this is why we never wanted to get married. But the 'freedom-loving' US government had to impose it's will on our private lives, so we had to pay the $135 and get a stupid paper signed. Probably the least romantic wedding in history: no rings, no proposals, no party, just a wasted afternoon appeasing bureaucrats. We seriously considered getting divorced when we returned to Canada, but that would've been a waste of even more money, so we didn't bother. Personally, I have nothing but contempt for the institution of marriage. 

Of course, getting married had no effect on our relationship, which is still great after 22 years 

Cheers


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## PosterBoy (Jan 22, 2002)

MasterBlaster said:


> I know that there are exceptions to what I have said above about Canadian and American women, but I am not taking any chances.


Actually, I'd say that the one you married is the exception to the norm. I don't mean to sound insensitive, but just because you got treated badly is no reason to write off two continents worth of people.


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## MasterBlaster (Jan 12, 2003)

.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

PosterBoy said:


> Actually, I'd say that the one you married is the exception to the norm. I don't mean to sound insensitive, but just because you got treated badly is no reason to write off two continents worth of people.


Tell you what, Matt....stick with your preconceptions. At least for right now in your life. I'm sitting here hoping that you succeed! We need to continue the race, after all... 

Later on...when you are somewhat older and very MUCH wiser...you and I and about five thousand other guys can sit down and have a beer....

And at that point we will all discuss our experiences with the opposite sex. Especially the long term ones...

I'll bring the dart board.


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## PosterBoy (Jan 22, 2002)

MasterBlaster said:


> What was the other continent?


Actually, you said you now avoid women from North America, Europe and Australia. So three, not two. All based on a terrible experience with one woman, or so it seems.

Again, I don't mean to be insensitive, it's just that I've always had better success with people by judging them on their individual merits and flaws. Call me crazy, but I don't like writing off a huge group of people as "bad" (for lack of a better term) based on experiences with just a few.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

I've lived in something like nine different countries. On three different continents.

And I can tell you ONE THING for _SURE!!_ 

Women are women. No matter where you go.  

Totally fascinating, and terribly scary...often at the same time. Deeply loving and completely devious...often at the very same time. Your best friend...and your worst enemy...often at the very same time.

The agony and the ecstacy...all wrapped up in one totally fascinating, and very lovely...but completely unfathomable package...

You will never EVER figure them out. No matter how hard you might try....

Proceed with caution, my friend.

Trust me on this.


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## MasterBlaster (Jan 12, 2003)

.


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

MasterBlaster and MacNutt, you would make a great couple.....


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

MasterBlaster said:


> Who said just one?
> 
> Also take other peoples experiences into account.
> After I recovered from the split up I studied all sorts of interpersonal relationship and seduction methods. I was trained directly by Ross Jefferies in California: seduction.com and others in NLP including Richard Bandler.
> ...


NOTE HERE:

This guy is ON to something!  

My best relationships...all except one...have been with latin ladies. Mostly from South America. Cuba is also a happy hunting ground. With unlimited potential.

North American women seem to have a bunch of pre-set ideals that are pretty much out of line with what they have to offer in a relationship. Mostly. (There are exceptions to any rule, after all...)

Bottom line here:

I honestly think that most of you guys are fishing in the wrong pond. You might come up with something truly amazing...who knows?

But it's more likely that you will have to get very friendly with a lawyer, at some point in your lives. And then start over again, from scratch. That has been the experience of virtually ALL of the formerly married guys I know, who are over 40. Just so's you know...

Good luck!


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

MacNutt said:


> NOTE HERE:
> 
> This guy is ON to something!


You both come from the same school of misogyny?


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Nope. Just the world of reality. 

Take a moment and count the number of guys you know who are in their forties. Then count how many of them aren't divorced. Or who are on the brink of it.

Sad tho it may be...the numbers just don't lie.


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

MacNutt said:


> Take a moment and count the number of guys you know who are in their forties. Then count how many of them aren't divorced. Or who are on the brink of it.
> 
> Sad tho it may be...the numbers just don't lie.


And what does that have to do with anything? You make it sound as if it's the woman's fault....
Maybe if you did not worry about your "stuff" so much, and appreciate the person you are with....


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

The one thing I can tell you about all of the guys I know who are divorced is this...

A)-The woman (aka "soulmate") instigated the divorce proceedings. Or walked out, without warning. In almost all of the cases.

B)-The woman soon found a brand new "soulmate". Often within the same week. The male in almost all of these cases was shattered beyond belief. Shaken to his very core by this sudden and unexpected change of gears by his very closest companion.

Further to this....

Many (actually most) of the men eventually recover. And go on and rebuild their lives. Older, and a bit poorer, and somewhat wiser...

Oddly enough...many of the women seem to end up much worse off. At least in the long run. Then they get bitter. Then they call a lawyer. Often years after the fact. Especially if they have children that they can use as bargaining chips.  

And it is this eventual reality that seems to keep the legal profession knee deep in BMW's and waterfront homes.

(_Hey Dad!!...I just met a girl named "SUE"!! Waddya think of her....?? Aint she a babe??!!??)_


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## MasterBlaster (Jan 12, 2003)

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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

MasterBlaster, you don't have to be with that kind of woman - nothing is stopping you from walking away. Yes, you have gold diggers and some women that have expectations of prince charming, just walk away....
You will find partners that believe in friendship and equality. Men and women are different, start to appreciate those qualities and how they compliment each other.

Now, I was actually taking you seriously until you started on millionaires wifes... 
Trophy wifes are just that, and hate to break your bubble, many rich men prefer those. The Donald, the guy from Corel and the ex-BMO president can attest to that. 
Now, maybe the "age" better because of better care (food, stress, plastic surgery and leisure time) that money affords, don't you think?

Lack of money is a big stress factor and one of the main reasons why couples fight - 

You make it sound like you prefer a woman to be a servant - I'll take mine with opinions thank you very much.......


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## bryanc (Jan 16, 2004)

MacNutt said:


> Nope. Just the world of reality.
> 
> Take a moment and count the number of guys you know who are in their forties. Then count how many of them aren't divorced. Or who are on the brink of it.
> 
> Sad tho it may be...the numbers just don't lie.


Speaking as a guy in his forties who is neither divorced nor on the brink of it, I actually agree with you here. But probably not for the same reasons.

I think this comes down to biology. Our evolution often sabotages our attempts at personal happiness. Men in their forties are still reproductively viable and are often even attractive to younger women (who are biologically predisposed to be attracted to men they perceive as 'powerful', which, in our society, means rich, and that usually means over 40). Women over forty are rapidly loosing their fertility, and are therefore evolutionarily less attractive.

Being aware of the biological predisposition men in their forties have to find new mates, and the predisposition of young women to seek out powerful men as mates, allows everyone concerned to be ready for them and not let our biological urges screw up our lives. Just because it make sense for successful silver-backs to mate with the young females doesn't mean it makes sense for people in our culture.

Cheers


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## MasterBlaster (Jan 12, 2003)

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## PosterBoy (Jan 22, 2002)

Well, it seems that there is a difference of opinion here that just won't be resolved, so this will be my final post in this thread.

Here's the deal. Women are people. People are complex. Some are really nice and some are complete assholes. Whether they are nice or not, not all of them are going to be compatible with you. The trick is how do you tell? Well, I don't care who you were trained by, you can't size up a person in minutes or seconds. You can size up whether or not you can get someone into bed in a few minutes or seconds, sure, but there is more to being in a relationship that just sex.

Here's the thing: the couples I know that are happy talk to one another, about everything. They don't let **** build up until it pushes them apart, they deal with it. The couples that I know who aren't happy/have broken up didn't talk, at least not about the important stuff. If your partner does something that bothers you, and they love you, they should be willing to talk about it and vice versa. 

No one has to make fundamental personality changes (because doing so would entirely defeat the purpose of being with a person, if you ask me), but dropping an annoying habit to accommodate a loved one should not be unreasonable, either. 

As fun and joyful as a happy relationship can be, that's not to say that they are not work at times. **** happens that you have to deal with, it's a universal fact of life. If something happens that causes your partner to throw your stuff out on the lawn you can be pretty much 100% sure this isn't the first thing you've done wrong. In fact, in pretty much every case I know about both of you have made the mistake of not talking to one another.

Relationships are not about sex, they are about being together. Being together involves a degree of compromise and accommodation. If she indulges your hobbies but you ignore hers, well, you're ****ing stupid if you don't think it'll lead to problems (and vice versa: everything in a relationship is a two way street).

A word on attitudes and preconceptions. If you go into something assuming that it'll end badly, chances are it will. If you think that when you hit middle age all women just up and throw your stuff on the lawn, chances are you'll find a way, consciously or unconsciously, to make that happen. 

You can't judge a book by it's cover, or a person by a stereotype. If you're with a man or a woman who wants to "fix" you, and make you more compatible with what she wants, it should be pretty easy to tell that you aren't really meant to be together. If you have to make fundamental changes to yourself in order for your partner to be happy, you aren't mean to be together. It's that simple, and it should be pretty easy to tell what's going on. 

In closing, all I can say is that not everyone is for everyone. Not every relationship, no matter how good it can be, is going to last. That's the thing though, if you talk about how good your relationship <em>can be</em>, maybe you ought to think about it some, and talk about it some. All the people I know who are in stable, meaningful relationships don't talk about how good it can be, they talk about how good it <em>is</em>.


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## gwillikers (Jun 19, 2003)

PosterBoy, great post!


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

I agree.


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## MasterBlaster (Jan 12, 2003)

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## jfpoole (Sep 26, 2002)

After reading this thread and some of the posters' attitudes towards women, the only thing that comes to mind is this.

The only thing in common with all your failed relationships is you.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Actually, most of my data on this comes from all of the failed relationships that I have been witness to, over the years.

But...like many here...I still have hope, and choose to believe in the fantasy. Rather than the reality. 

Maybe I'll find my soulmate some day. Maybe I'll find my other half...

And, when I do, I will marry her and stay with her all the rest of my days!!

(and I sincerely hope that she doesn't toss all my gear out on the front lawn one afternoon, and run off with Raul the pool boy...)


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## MasterBlaster (Jan 12, 2003)

.


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

PosterBoy said:


> Well, it seems that there is a difference of opinion here that just won't be resolved, so this will be my final post in this thread.
> 
> Here's the deal. Women are people. People are complex. Some are really nice and some are complete assholes. Whether they are nice or not, not all of them are going to be compatible with you. The trick is how do you tell? Well, I don't care who you were trained by, you can't size up a person in minutes or seconds. You can size up whether or not you can get someone into bed in a few minutes or seconds, sure, but there is more to being in a relationship that just sex.
> 
> ...


This is the perfect answer and the thread should end on this...


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## MasterBlaster (Jan 12, 2003)

.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

So did I. 

And I concur...this would be the perfect place to end the thread. Frozen forever. With PosterBoy's very well written reply as a final coda. 

Mr. Mayor? Shall we seal this one up, and leave it just as it is? por Favor?


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

jfpoole said:


> After reading this thread and some of the posters' attitudes towards women, the only thing that comes to mind is this.
> 
> The only thing in common with all your failed relationships is you.


A more fitting end....


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

You seem to have chosen to end it on a "down" note. I'd prefer to see it end on PosterBoy's well written "up" note.

Funny about that, eh?


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## MasterBlaster (Jan 12, 2003)

.


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

PosterBoy said:


> Well, it seems that there is a difference of opinion here that just won't be resolved, so this will be my final post in this thread.
> 
> Here's the deal. Women are people. People are complex. Some are really nice and some are complete assholes. Whether they are nice or not, not all of them are going to be compatible with you. The trick is how do you tell? Well, I don't care who you were trained by, you can't size up a person in minutes or seconds. You can size up whether or not you can get someone into bed in a few minutes or seconds, sure, but there is more to being in a relationship that just sex.
> 
> ...


....


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Fini!


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## moonsocket (Apr 1, 2002)

..........or is it?


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Man, you have to be bored to resurrect this one!


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## moonsocket (Apr 1, 2002)

SINC said:


> Man, you have to be bored to resurrect this one!


Holy crap I really am!!!


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

I just knew it! LOL!


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## FeXL (Jan 2, 2004)

OK, seeing as it's back...

This thread took on a much more negative tone than what I had originally hoped for when I started it. 

For those of you who have nothing positive to reminisce about, I am truly sorry and better luck next time.

For those of us who are as much in love, or more so, than when we first met our mates, I hoist one. Here's to you and yours. Cheers!!!

Have a helluva Thanksgiving weekend!


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## guytoronto (Jun 25, 2005)

I won't go into the boring details about how I asked her, blah blah blah.

I will say that we had karaoke at our wedding. Best decision ever! Everybody still tells us our wedding was the most fun of any they have been too. We also had a scavenger hunt between the ceremony and reception. Kept people occupied while we did the photo thing. Oh, and we did it all in one location, so no driving to and fro.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Good on ya, guytoronto!  

Keep the human race alive and well by hitchin up with a nice lady! I envy you...I really DO!! 

But I'll keep the porch light on and a space on my nice leather couch for you. Plus some pillows and bedding

Just in case.


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## da_jonesy (Jun 26, 2003)

MacNutt said:


> Good on ya, guytoronto!
> 
> Keep the human race alive and well by hitchin up with a nice lady! I envy you...I really DO!!
> 
> ...


Don't worry Macnutt, you'll find the right MAN for you yet... keep pining, he is out there waiting for you. 

PS. After reading you Desperate Housewives rant I seriously suggest you look into the Hot Man on Man Monogamy thing.


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