# You Live in Alberta when...



## imactheknife (Aug 7, 2003)

Here's what Jeff Foxworthy (American comedian) has to say about
> Albertans::lmao: 
> 
> 
> If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you 
live
> in Alberta .
> 
> If someone
in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't
> work there, you live in Alberta .
> 
> If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in 
Alberta
> .
> 
> If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who 
dialed a
> wrong number, you live in Alberta .
> 
> If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Edmonton for the weekend,
> you live in Alberta .
> 
> If you measure distance in hours, you live in Alberta .
> 
> If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you 
live
> in Alberta .
> 
> If you have switched from "heat" to "air conditioning" and back again 
in
> the same day, you live in Alberta .
> 
> If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging 
blizzard
> without flinching, you live in Alberta
> 
> If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave 
both
> unlocked, you live in Alberta .
> 
> If you carry cable jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use
> them, you live in Alberta .
> 
> If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, 
you
> live in Alberta .
> 
> If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled 
with
> snow, you live in Alberta .
> 
> If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and 
road
> construction, you live in Alberta .
> 
> If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in
> Alberta .
> 
> If you find 10 degrees Fahrenheit "a little chilly", you live in 
Alberta
> .
> 
> If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your
> Alberta friends, you live in Alberta.

I could not agree more sometimes...:clap: 
>


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## zoziw (Jul 7, 2006)

> > If you find 10 degrees Fahrenheit "a little chilly", you live in
> Alberta


I have no concept of what 10 degrees fahrenheit feels like.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

zoziw said:


> I have no concept of what 10 degrees fahrenheit feels like.


And likewise I have no concept of what possible benefit to us the government intended when they changed to celsius.

A once warm temperature of plus 10 degrees fahrenheit became the supposedly bone chilling equivalent of minus 12 celsius. It turned winter into a totally negative experience for Canadians.


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## bryanc (Jan 16, 2004)

SINC said:


> And likewise I have no concept of what possible benefit to us the government intended when they changed to celsius.


Perhaps they recognized the value of a system of measurement that was internally consistent, rational, base-10 and widely used in science, engineering, and by the vast majority of citizens across the planet?

Just because you grew up with and got used to an archaic, irrational and idiosyncratic system doesn't mean you should saddle the future with it.

Cheers


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## HowEver (Jan 11, 2005)

bryanc said:


> Perhaps they recognized the value of a system of measurement that was internally consistent, rational, base-10 and widely used in science, engineering, and by the vast majority of citizens across the planet?
> 
> Just because you grew up with and got used to an archaic, irrational and idiosyncratic system doesn't mean you should *saddle *the future with it.
> 
> Cheers


You know you've been to Alberta if you think the use of "saddle" in the above reply has only a tinge of irony.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

You know you are in Alberta if you have communities with a population of Newfoundlanders and Labradorians second only in size to St.John's, NL. Sad, but all too true.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

bryanc said:


> Perhaps they recognized the value of a system of measurement that was internally consistent, rational, base-10 and widely used in science, engineering, and by the vast majority of citizens across the planet?
> 
> Just because you grew up with and got used to an archaic, irrational and idiosyncratic system doesn't mean you should saddle the future with it.
> 
> Cheers


Last I checked the fahrenheit scale was exactly the same as it has been ever since it was established. Is that "consistent" enough for you? 

The fact remains that I firmly believe that the negative effect on Canadians minds living under the celsius scale contributes to their growing "winter blues problem". 

Like I said when one is told on the radio forecast "it is a balmy plus 10" on arising one morning versus the "bundle up it's -12 out there" gang speaks for itself in terms of mental health. We have far too much negativity in this world without unnecessarily creating more.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

It took me a few years, but now, after 30 years in Canada, I am able to think in Celsius. Metric length is OK, and weight is a bit of a stretch. Liquid measurements are still a mystery to me, since I still think in ounces, cups, etc.


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## Andrew Pratt (Feb 16, 2007)

Purhapse Sync you'd prefer we switch to the Kelvin scale instead?


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Andrew Pratt said:


> Purhapse Sync you'd prefer we switch to the Kelvin scale instead?


Nope, just back to fahrenheit. And the name is SINC, not Sync.


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## FeXL (Jan 2, 2004)

There's what, 17 points there? I can relate to 10 of them.

Guess I'm from Alberta.


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## spicyapple (Aug 17, 2006)

Haha, so true! I lived in Alberta for 5 years so it all rings true, especially hitting deers more than once and more mileage on the snowmobile. :lmao:

I prefer Celsius, since 0 is freezing and 100 is boiling. Can't get any easier to understand, although I think in inches and pounds.


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## bryanc (Jan 16, 2004)

spicyapple said:


> I prefer Celsius, since 0 is freezing and 100 is boiling. Can't get any easier to understand, although I think in inches and pounds.


There's no question that the metric system is far better in every rational respect (I especially like that the units interrelate well (1 cubic centimeter of water is 1 ml, weighs 1 gram, and requires 1 kcal of energy to raise it's temperature 1 degree, for example). However, I think we're all inherently irrational about our bodies, so we stick to describing ourselves with antique measurements because they 'sound' good and we have some 'feeling' for them.

Cheers.


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## BigDL (Apr 16, 2003)

SINC said:


> Nope, just back to fahrenheit. And the name is SINC, not Sync.


Based on that attitude perhaps Pounds Shillings and Pence would be more attractive to you than the decimal system of the Dollar.

How about quart, pecks, bushels and barrels they make as much sense as Fahrenheit temperatures.

The way I figure it I can now face plus 10 degrees with a smile instead of a grimace. 

How cold is it when it's -12 degrees C and plus 10 degrees F if you don't know the temperature.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Apparently SINC and I are not the only ones confused by the switch to metric.

Roads flooded, flights delayed as intense storms sweep Alberta



> "Parts of the lower level of the mall had up to *18 inches [4.57 cm]* of water," said Heath Applebaum, a spokesman for the mall's management company.


TeeHee,

Margaret


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## singingcrow (May 6, 2005)

*Wow! All True except...*

I went to DQ all year round. That must be an Edmonton thing.


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## RobTheGob (Feb 10, 2003)

singingcrow said:


> I went to DQ all year round. That must be an Edmonton thing.


The main reason why DQ is closed around Calgary is because people won't work for $15/hr.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Am I the only one who knows the problem with the "18 inches or 4.57 cm" in my post above? The quote was copied from the CBC's web site.

If nobody knows the problem, we really are in trouble   

Margaret


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

winwintoo said:


> Am I the only one who knows the problem with the "18 inches or 4.57 cm" in my post above? The quote was copied from the CBC's web site.
> 
> If nobody knows the problem, we really are in trouble
> 
> Margaret


I saw it too Margaret. the decimal point is one too far to the left, s/b 45.7


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

You Live in Alberta when... you get a dividend check in the mail from the provincial government.


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## FeXL (Jan 2, 2004)

Dr.G. said:


> You Live in Alberta when... you get a dividend check in the mail from the provincial government.


C'mon, Dr.G,, that hasn't happened for over a year.


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## HowEver (Jan 11, 2005)

You live in Alberta when 2/3 of your neighbours are from Ontario, and won't admit it.


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## zoziw (Jul 7, 2006)

FeXL said:


> C'mon, Dr.G,, that hasn't happened for over a year.


Yeah Dr.G, it has been a long time and were dying out here.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

zoziw, we hear your plight. The people from the City of St.John's have taken up a collection to help out our sister city, Calgary, in these tough times. We have raised apx $13 million, and will be sending it to the Calgary South West Disaster Relief Fund. The target population will be the folks in the Mount Royal section of Calgary. Hopefully, we can ease their pain.


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## dona83 (Jun 26, 2005)

Andrew Pratt said:


> Purhapse Sync you'd prefer we switch to the Kelvin scale instead?


It was a pleasant 295K today.


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## zoziw (Jul 7, 2006)

Dr.G. said:


> zoziw, we hear your plight. The people from the City of St.John's have taken up a collection to help out our sister city, Calgary, in these tough times. We have raised apx $13 million, and will be sending it to the Calgary South West Disaster Relief Fund. The target population will be the folks in the Mount Royal section of Calgary. Hopefully, we can ease their pain.


Those saints truly deserve it...unfortunately, and not to knock the generosity of the good people of St. John's, it won't be enough. Golden streets aren't cheap to fix.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

The way things are going in the housing market, instead of a cheque, you'll be getting the names of 2 new "friends" from among the homeless population that you'll be asked to host over the next winter while they save up enough empty pop bottles and beer cans to earn the bus fare back to Saskatchewan or points east.

They won't be able to stay in Saskatchewan though because the real estate moguls have been artificially boosting the price of homes here. Maybe there's still room in Manitoba...........

Margaret


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

"Those saints truly deserve it...unfortunately, and not to knock the generosity of the good people of St. John's, it won't be enough. Golden streets aren't cheap to fix." I thought that Mount Royal was the poorer section of Calgary.


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## RobTheGob (Feb 10, 2003)

Dr.G. said:


> You Live in Alberta when... you get a dividend check in the mail from the provincial government.


Don't kid yourself - if you live in NFLD (or any other province in Canada other than ON and BC), you get a dividend cheque EVERYDAY from Alberta.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

RobTheGob said:


> Don't kid yourself - if you live in NFLD (or any other province in Canada other than ON and BC), you get a dividend cheque EVERYDAY from Alberta.


Oh man, ya gotta love that one! :lmao: :lmao: :clap: :clap:


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## zoziw (Jul 7, 2006)

Dr.G. said:


> "Those saints truly deserve it...unfortunately, and not to knock the generosity of the good people of St. John's, it won't be enough. Golden streets aren't cheap to fix." I thought that Mount Royal was the poorer section of Calgary.


If you consider an 1140 square foot house built in 1946 selling for $1,170,000.00 a poor section of town then yes, it is a poorer section.  

Personally, living in an upper middle class section of NW Calgary and having a house slightly bigger built in 1997 with a value less than half of that, I think Mount Royal's streets are paved with gold.

That's just me though.  

MLS

Of course, that is chump change, here is a newer and larger house in Mount Royal:

MLS


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## MLeh (Dec 23, 2005)

FeXL said:


> C'mon, Dr.G,, that hasn't happened for over a year.


Not due for an election anytime soon, then, eh?


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Zoziw, I did not know. I showed this to my wife, who is from Calgary, and she did not flinch. That first house is about a third the size of our home here in St.John's, for which we could possibly get $275,000 is we had to sell it today. 

I guess we are going to have to come up with some more money to help out you poor people in Calgary. Paix, mon ami. Help in on the way.


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## zoziw (Jul 7, 2006)

> I guess we are going to have to come up with some more money to help out you poor people in Calgary. Paix, mon ami. Help in on the way.


We welcome the generosity of Newfoundlanders! It can't come soon enough.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

We are also sending some food and clothing for those in the Mount Royal section of Calgary. I hear that Mount Royal College will be closed and converted into a shelter for those who were displaced due to the property values of their homes topping $1 million, and they were unable to pay the property taxes.


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## zoziw (Jul 7, 2006)

You are a little bit out of date on that issue. We were going to convert Mount Royal College to a homeless shelter for displaced Mount Royal residence until we found out they were all elderly.

After that we just shipped them down to Florida...we haven't followed up since the bus left a few months ago.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

So, is the Mount Royal of Calgary SW still the slum area everyone speaks about on the news?


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## zoziw (Jul 7, 2006)

Well, there are a lot of unemployed orthodontists in the area since we shipped out the old people.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

I would not think getting a job would be difficult in Calgary. Finding an affordable place to live might be difficult.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

It always amazes me that as soon as the price of gas goes up, we all start screaming about price gouging.

When the price (notice I didn't say "cost") of housing goes up, nobody says a word.

It it because we don't dare accuse a potential neighbour of price-gouging? or are we individually wishing we had bought that house or lot when it was going for $25K and now is selling for $250K

Price-gouging is price-gouging. It shouldn't matter if it's big oil doing it or if it's "Big Al" doing it. 

It all sounds like ripping people off to me.

And then when Big Al hears about somebody out on the street he swaggers and says "well you could just get a job blah, blah, blah" Big Al is just as evil as a thief who sneaks into your house and robs you blind.

The difference is that we have no laws against Big Al.

Take care, Margaret


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## zoziw (Jul 7, 2006)

Dr.G. said:


> I would not think getting a job would be difficult in Calgary. Finding an affordable place to live might be difficult.


True, but orthodontists are notoriously lazy.


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## Beej (Sep 10, 2005)

winwintoo said:


> Price-gouging is price-gouging.


And price gouging is daring to get the best deal on what you own? How sinister.

I'm going to go and demand nay, require, with the full moral authority of truthiness the right to purchase the nearest house at the price at which I think it should be sold to me. Darned gougers will not get away with selling what they own for what other people (gouger enablers...to the underworld with them!) will pay.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Beej said:


> And price gouging is daring to get the best deal on what you own? How sinister.
> 
> I'm going to go and demand nay, require, with the full moral authority of truthiness the right to purchase the nearest house at the price at which I think it should be sold to me. Darned gougers will not get away with selling what they own for what other people (gouger enablers...to the underworld with them!) will pay.


So it's ok if it's you, but not ok if it's Shell or Esso?

Margaret


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## Beej (Sep 10, 2005)

When did I say it was not okay?

I am not okay with proven collusion to manipulate market prices (OPEC is a fun discussion with short-term versus long-term  ). Canadian prices for gasoline being close to prices around the world, allowing for price volatility and occasional local disturbances, do not seem to be manipulated. 

Do you have a point, or did you just think you had an "ah hah!" moment? Wrong guy to push that truthiness on. Perhaps your vent needs recalibrating?


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Beej said:


> When did I say it was not okay?
> 
> I am not okay with proven collusion to manipulate market prices (OPEC is a fun discussion with short-term versus long-term  ). Canadian prices for gasoline being close to prices around the world, allowing for price volatility and occasional local disturbances, do not seem to be manipulated.
> 
> Do you have a point, or did you just think you had an "ah hah!" moment? Wrong guy to push that truthiness on. Perhaps your vent needs recalibrating?


What? I don't know what you mean.

I'm talking about an individual price-gouging on the price of a house and whether that is as despicable as what the public accuses the big oil companies of doing whenever the price of gasoline rises. 

Sure get the best price, but manipulating the market so a house that sold last year for $80K is suddenly worth $350K - that's price gouging.

If you don't think so, then we disagree and let's leave it at that.

Margaret


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## Beej (Sep 10, 2005)

winwintoo said:


> Sure get the best price, but manipulating the market so a house that sold last year for $80K is suddenly worth $350K - that's price gouging.


"What? I don't know what you mean."
You tried the ol' "what about Esso" thing, but you happened to pick the wrong person. Have you ever seen me moan about gasoline prices?

Also, how did this homeowner pull off the manipulation? It seems like gouging is simply defined as "higher prices than I like". That's pretty standard.

Strangely enough, I agree with your analogy in a different way. People b***h about gasoline prices but will gladly take the money for their home. So, WTF is gouging? It just seems to be buyers that want something at yesterday's/yesteryear's prices.

Get over it.


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## RobTheGob (Feb 10, 2003)

You live in Alberta when you arrive home from Victoria on June 17th and have to start the furnace...


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## zoziw (Jul 7, 2006)

RobTheGob said:


> You live in Alberta when you arrive home from Victoria on June 17th and have to start the furnace...


Oh come on, it is only one cold day...forecast is for sunny skies and the mid-twenties in the coming days.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Wednesday's prediction is closer to 30C for Calgary.


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## RobTheGob (Feb 10, 2003)

Well - at least I didn't have to get the snow shovel out. That's a plus!

I've lived here for quite a long time - so the spring weather doesn't disappoint me too much anymore...


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

"Alberta has posted an $8.5-billion surplus, twice the amount originally forecast, the government announced Thursday.

Finance Minister Lyle Oberg said his counterparts across Canada are "extremely envious," but he warned that economists predict that resource revenue will continue to decline, leading to smaller surpluses in the future."

Word out of Ottawa is that if their surplus should dip to under $5 billion, the equalization schedule will kick in and Ontario and BC will have to pay in twice their normal amount to help out Alberta in their "time of need". Hopefully, this would avoid the breadlines forming in the Mount Royal district of Calgary, SW.


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## singingcrow (May 6, 2005)

RobTheGob said:


> The main reason why DQ is closed around Calgary is because people won't work for $15/hr.


I guess things have changed...


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## singingcrow (May 6, 2005)

zoziw said:


> You are a little bit out of date on that issue. We were going to convert Mount Royal College to a homeless shelter for displaced Mount Royal residence until we found out they were all elderly.
> 
> After that we just shipped them down to Florida...we haven't followed up since the bus left a few months ago.


:lmao: Don't you know this is how rumours get started???  

The truth, Dr. G, is they actually ship them to live in igloos in the north edge of the world, in a place called either Kensington or Castle Ridge. People may choose the way to get there, but all must go on a mission through the center. They may stop on the Sunnyside or travel through the land of bridges (which actually has more churches than bridges), but all will arrive eventually.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Singingcrow, I think that the rest of the country needs to chip in and help Alberta in its time of need. We should all chip in about $10 million from each province to make sure that the Heritage Fund remains alive and well.


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## Beej (Sep 10, 2005)

Many provinces could "chip in" by taking less equalisation instead of loudly complaining when it does not increase enough to suit them. Heck, just taking the same total amount from ON, BC and AB, through Federal revenues, would be chipping in, relatively.


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## zoziw (Jul 7, 2006)

> "Alberta has posted an $8.5-billion surplus, twice the amount originally forecast, the government announced Thursday.
> 
> Finance Minister Lyle Oberg said his counterparts across Canada are "extremely envious," but he warned that economists predict that resource revenue will continue to decline, leading to smaller surpluses in the future."


On a more serious note, they are doing such a good job that they lost Ralph Klein's former riding to the Liberals.

The reason is that they underfund programs that need stable long-term funding and then cherry-pick politically opportune programs to make one-time investments in with the surplus.

For example, the last high school built in sector 4 (NW) of the city was built in 1971 and several of the elementary schools in the city had to be shut down because their roofs were either leaking or in danger of collapsing.

Ralph Klein transferred all of the education tax from the local school boards to Edmonton back in the nineties so that the provincial government could increase revenues and use it to reduce the debt. Now, with the debt long gone and $8.5 billion in surpluses, we still have to fight for every dollar that we get.

There was a high school for northwest Calgary that was number 5 on the priority list three months ago, my community newsletter said that at 5 it would probably take 15 years before it was finished and asked us to campaign to try to get it moved up. Last month, we were informed it was no longer on the list at all.

There were roughly 400,000 people living in Calgary in 1971 and today there are over a million and not one new high school has been built in sector 4 in over 30 years and it doesn't sound like another one will be built for at least the next 20.

1 public high school built in one of the fastest growing sections of the city in 50 years. By 2015 there will be over 70,000 people living to the northwest of me, right now, those communites are just starting to be built, and we will still have 1 high school built in 1971 serving this sector.

Most people now view the surplus numbers the provincial government sends out as gross and that we need to net off the infrastructure deficit to arrive at the real number. In Calgary alone, that is in excess of $2 billion, everyday in the paper you hear about the exchange between our mayor and the premier over this.

From today's Calgary Herald:



> Since taking office last December, the Stelmach government has had a rocky run -- facing increasing tensions and criticism over labour and housing shortages and a very public feud with Mayor Dave Bronconnier over infrastructure funding. Calgary has been front and centre in nearly all the government's flareups.
> 
> "So, to date, there has maybe not been a full appreciation and understanding at the provincial levels of the complexities and the number of issues confronting Calgary as a result of such tremendous growth," Bronconnier said Friday.


Conservative support drops 12 points in poll

The worst part is that they flaunt these numbers around the country and everyone gets ticked off that our surplus is higher than Ottawa's, but they refuse to invest the money properly or even cut taxes.

I've come to view these massive surpluses as a sign of political incomptence more than anything.

With another election looming within the next year, they will use this surplus to buy votes by making one-time spending promises throughout the province...and they will win another majority government.

Ralph Klein admitted when he stepped down that the government didn't have a plan to manage our growth...I haven't seen anything suggesting Stelmach has one either.

[/rant]


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