# Where to live in Canada?



## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges.
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. Big Rock between you and B.C.
2. Ottawa who?
3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approximately 200 percent for the rest of
the country.
4. Flames vs. Oilers.
5. Stamps vs. Eskies.
6. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
7. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own
country.
8. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You never run out of wheat.
2. Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning.
3. Your province is really easy to draw.
4. You never have to worry about car roll-back if you have a standard
transmission.
5. It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbour's house.
6. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
7. People will assume you live on a farm.
8. Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have beachfront property.
2. The only province to ever violently rebel against the federal government.

3. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
4. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
5. You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work.
6. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
7. Because of your license plate, you are still friendly even when you cut
someone off.
8. Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live in the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist. Separate from what? You
are the centre of the universe.
5. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
6. Much Music's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV for a
dollar.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians.
3. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move
out next.
4. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
5. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *#!%".

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. One way or another, the government gets 98 per cent of your income.
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
3. When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours.
4. The economy is based on fish, cows, and ferrying Ontario motorists to
Boston.
5. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.
6. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
7. Just as charming as Maine, but with more unemployed fishermen.
8. You probably live in a small seaside cottage with no television.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
2. You are the "only" reason Anne Murray makes money.
3. You can pretend you have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and
wear a kilt.
4. The economy is based on lobster and fiddle music.
5. Even though it smells like dead sea animals, Halifax is considered
Canada's most beautiful city.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big,
new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You were probably once an extra on "Road to Avonlea".
4. This is where all those tiny red potatoes come from.
5. The economy is based on fish, potatoes, and CBC TV shows.
6. Tourists arrive, see the "Anne of Green Gables" house, then promptly
leave.
7. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
8. It doesn't matter to you if Quebec separates.
9. You don't share a border with the Americans, or with anyone for that
matter.
10. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
2. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss
dead cod.
3. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products.
4. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
5. You and only you understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics.
6. The workday is about two hours long.
7. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered
flashlight and the screen door for submarines.
8. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.


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## Cameo (Aug 3, 2004)

Are you a Canadian?


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

Cameo said:


> Are you a Canadian?


Mes oui. Je suis Canadien.


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## gwillikers (Jun 19, 2003)

A lot of those are very accurate in a somewhat painful kind of way. LMAO


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## moonsocket (Apr 1, 2002)

Good stuff.

Cheers!!


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## trump (Dec 7, 2004)

I remember seeing that on some canadian "fan site" - pretty funny

EDIT: best one
4. There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist. Separate from what? You
are the centre of the universe.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND AND LABRADOR (which is the official name of our province)
1. If Quebec separates, we will turn off the Churchill Falls power, and they will be out 800 million to one billion dollars of electricity to sell to New York State.
2. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss
dead cod..........which are now just about extinct due to foreign draggers.
3. The economy is based on off-shore oil, minerals, pulp and paper, and tourism.
4. If you do something stupid, you have no excuse. 
5. You and only you understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics.
6. The workday is about twelve hours long.
7. You are credited with many great inventions, like the battery-powered mini-plane that takes clear photographs over conjested urban areas.
8. It is socially acceptable to kiss the bride at your wedding.


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

MACSPECTRUM said:


> Mes oui. Je suis Canadien.


C'est _mais oui_ mon tabarnac.


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## Paul O'Keefe (Jun 3, 2005)

> TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
> 6. Everybody has a Grandfather who runs a lighthouse.


My girlfriend (who was orginally from Nova Scotia) has a grandfather who was a lighthouse keeper in New Brunswick. Later he ran a lighthouse in Nova Scotia.

Apparently when her father was a boy he had to row a dory to get to school when the tide was high. Kids nowadays got it easy!


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## MissGulch (Jul 20, 2005)

Cameo said:


> Are you a Canadian?


Non. Je suis americaín, mais je pense qu'il est drole!


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## tedj (Sep 9, 2004)

haha. surprisingly few seaside villages with or without tv in NB.


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## Carex (Mar 1, 2004)

Tis all in good fun. 

Now if someone could dig up those descriptions of the people from different regions of Canada it would be wonderful. All I can remember is the one from Alberta (because it hit closest to home):
"you are a slow talking hayseed that eats too much steak".


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## Nina Danne Marshall (Oct 11, 2004)

wow... new brunswick was right on. It may have been as a joke... but it was seriously completely correct. And people back home wonder why i moved away, haha


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Thanks for digging a nearly two year old thread out of the dust. It reminded me of Carex, who used to be a regular here.

Other than that, it was . . .


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## RicktheChemist (Jul 18, 2001)

.


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## monokitty (Jan 26, 2002)

Haha, that's hilarious. Made my day (partly).


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Lars said:


> Haha, that's hilarious. Made my day (partly).


Made my day holey, but then again it IS Sunday.


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## monokitty (Jan 26, 2002)

Whatever did happen to Carex?


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## HowEver (Jan 11, 2005)

.


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## monokitty (Jan 26, 2002)

HowEver said:


> Last post:
> http://www.ehmac.ca/everything-else-eh/19434-shangri-la-clubhouse-565.html#post462542
> 
> Penultimate post:
> http://www.ehmac.ca/everything-else-eh/19434-shangri-la-clubhouse-564.html#post462103


No idea what I'm looking at...


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Lars, look for the Carex icon and the dire news re his being bitten by a WereDoxie.


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