# 40 reasons why it's good to be a woman



## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

*40 Funny Reasons Why It's Wonderful To Be A Woman
*
1. When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first. 

2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay. 

3. Women can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. 

4. A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl. 

5. If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected. 

6. Women are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time. 

7. Women live longer than men. 

8. Women know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes. 

9. If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice. 

10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all). 

11. There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems. 

12. Women don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers. 

13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 

14. Women know the truth about whether size matters... 

15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time. 

16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know. 

17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football. 

18. Women never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game. 

19. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 

20. Women can cry and get off a speeding ticket. 

21. A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick. 

22. A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear. 

23. Women don't have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper. 

24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute. 

25. Women can admit to others when they've made a mistake 

26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp. 

27. Women know who their children are without having a DNA test. 

28. It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy. 

29. Women can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex. 

30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored. 

31. Women have total control over their eyebrows. 

32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men. 

33. A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk. 

34. A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions. 

35. Women aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting. 

36. Women don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do. 

37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe. 

38. Women know exactly what buttons to push to get exactly what they want.

39. Women don't think reading the manual is a betrayal of all their species stands for.

40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.


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## MannyP Design (Jun 8, 2000)

MACSPECTRUM said:


> 40. Women can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.


You've never met my wife.


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## sketch (Sep 10, 2004)

MACSPECTRUM said:


> 30. Women can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.
> 
> 31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.
> 
> 32. Women can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men.


HA HA HA HA HA HA! Especially #30.


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## Cameo (Aug 3, 2004)

So, I am looped on two drinks..............what of it?
At 90 lbs what do you expect????????


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## duosonic (Jan 7, 2004)

33. A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk. 

Not true!


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## ram55 (Jan 24, 2003)

Why Men Are Happier



The garage is all ours. 

Wedding plans take care of themselves. 

Chocolate is just another snack.

We can never be pregnant.

We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

We can wear NO T-shirt to a water park. 

Car mechanics tell us the truth.

The world is our urinal. 

We never have to drive to another gas station
restroom because this one is just too icky. 

We don't have to stop and think
of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character. 

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

We can open all our own jars. 

We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.

We are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on our face stays its original color. 

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 

We only have to shave our face and neck.

We can play with toys all our life. 

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons. 

We can wear shorts no matter how our legs look.

We can "do" our nails with a pocket knife.

We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier


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## Vexel (Jan 30, 2005)

> The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.


 indeed!


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

Cameo said:


> So, I am looped on two drinks..............what of it?
> At 90 lbs what do you expect????????


that's about as much as my left leg weighs...


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## Trose (Feb 17, 2005)

Very amusing lists  .

37. For women, a new season means a whole new wardrobe.

If you're a woman, sure that may be wonderful, but if you're a guy chances are you're happy because you _don't_ need a whole new wardrobe for each season


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## IronMac (Sep 22, 2003)

MACSPECTRUM said:


> that's about as much as my left leg weighs...


That's some picture in my mind...owwwwwwwwww!!!


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## Cameo (Aug 3, 2004)

I do not look like a leg.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

MACSPECTRUM said:


> that's about as much as my left leg weighs...


We all remember when you had to give up that ballet career, Michael. Twas a sad day to see such a gifted gazelle turn in his slippers.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

You know, that list never mentioned farting. If girls fart in public people are shocked. If a guy let's a real loud one go, people applaud. If he whips out his Bic and lights it, everyone cheers.

(hmmmm...maybe I'm running with a different crowd than the rest of you.....)


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## autopilot (Dec 2, 2004)

MACSPECTRUM said:


> 2. A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.


Yes, but will my boyfriend assume these hugging chicks are lesbians? Probably...



> 7. Women live longer than men.


Not necessarily an advantage... What can you do at 100 that you couldn't do better at 90, 80, 70, or 60? 



> 10. Women mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all).


Again, not necessarily an advantage... 



> 13. A woman can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.


(I have never fully understood the woman-shoe deal...  )



> 15. A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time.


Don't drive with me then!



> 16. If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know.


I swim twice a week, so...



> 17. Women are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.


And where is the challenge here??



> 24. If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute.


Not at my workplace... they'll use it against you. 



> 26. If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp.


(See 24)



> 31. Women have total control over their eyebrows.


It's amazing how many choose not to use that power however...


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## Kosh (May 27, 2002)

ram55 said:


> Why Men Are Happier
> We can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.


And your from Ontario?

In Ontario women can legally go topless in public if it is for a non-sexual reason, ie. too hot.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Okayyy...that's officially the very FIRST good reason I've heard in an awfully long time to move from anywhere else in Canada to Ontario. 

And it _almost_ outweighs the fifty-seven good reasons NOT to move to Ontario. Almost....


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

MacNutt said:


> Okayyy...that's officially the very FIRST good reason I've heard in an awfully long time to move from anywhere else in Canada to Ontario.
> 
> And it _almost_ *outweighs* the fifty-seven good reasons NOT to move to Ontario. Almost....


are we talking about my left leg again?

 

i'll refrain from commenting on my "middle leg"
the afidavits speak for themselves


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

EEEEWWWWW!!!  

The optics on that last post are beyond grotesque MACSPECTRUM!! 

And just when I was getting ready for supper, too.


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

MacNutt said:


> EEEEWWWWW!!!
> 
> The optics on that last post are beyond grotesque, MACSPECTRUM!!
> 
> And just when I was getting ready for supper, too.


Not knackwurst again I hope.


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## MacNutt (Jan 16, 2002)

Ohhhh...._STOP IT!!_ 

(Actually it was barbecued prawns. Not that it matters now. My cat will eat well tonight.)


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