# Seen any BAD movies lately?



## iMatt (Dec 3, 2004)

Saw The Godfather Part III (1990) a few days ago. OMG what a disaster...

(Spoilers ahead, in case you're one of those people who likes to seek out train wrecks. This one is quite awful, but the more so because it is a sequel to two of the greatest Hollywood movies ever made. Be prepared to laugh at all the wrong times.)

After a promising opening series of shots of the Corleone family's Lake Tahoe estate lying in ruins, we get:

- A preposterous plot (the Vatican real estate takeover bid) and subplots (Mary and her cousin Vinnie falling in love), many poorly structured/unmotivated dramatic incidents (Connie ordering hits, etc. etc.), clumsy exposition at every turn.

- Terrible acting: just about everyone is off, from Sophia Coppola (wooden) and Andy Garcia (over-the-top) to Talia Shire (dull) and Al Pacino (can't rise above the lousy material). Diane Keaton is pretty much the only big name who isn't consistently cringe-inducing. Joe Mantegna looks like Joe Flaherty playing a gangster in an SCTV sketch, and sounds just like his Fat Tony character from the Simpsons -- with dialogue to match.)

- Thoroughly unbelievable evolution of the central character, Michael Corleone.

- Pacino's hair and makeup just add to the misery. The story is set 20 years after the end of Part II, and was filmed about 15 years later. Why bother slathering him with makeup and faux wrinkles and giving him that silly New Wave 'do? I don't see Diane Keaton artificially aged, doused with grey paint and wearing spiky hair.

A handful of interesting, competently done scenes couldn't redeem this turkey, which is fitting enough because the story is about Michael's futile quest for redemption after his life of heartless crime. The film does convey its key point: if you want to protect your children, keep them out of the family business. 

Yes, that means you, Francis Ford Coppola. Shame on you for casting your daughter (who turned out to be a good filmmaker, but was a terrible actress). 

Over all, this one would probably have been forgotten if only it hadn't been a sequel and a blatant attempt to cash in on previous success. But it is, so it deserves more than its share of rotten tomatoes. 

What are your favourite stinkers?


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## Loafer (Jan 7, 2004)

Pearl Harbour made me wanna puke!


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

This past Saturday I endured a screening of What Dreams May Come. Very nice visuals. Very bad movie.


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## MacDoc (Nov 3, 2001)

*Domino*  what a shame considering the cast.

Some other con man flick I had to turn off it was so horrid. Backed into the *The Good War* as a result and THAT was worth while.

I'll ditto Dreams.....just plain weird


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## Ena (Feb 7, 2005)

Pete's Meteor. Soppy story with Mike Myers, Alfred Molina and Brenda Fricker. Myers was dreadful at attempting a dramatic role. The kids acted the strongest roles.


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## LaurieR (Feb 9, 2006)

Wedding Crashers...I hated it!

(And I enjoy a good, raunchy comedy now and then.)


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## Max (Sep 26, 2002)

Ditto _What dreams may come._ Great art direction... too bad they forgot about plot, writing, direction, and acting. Otherwise it was grand.


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

Max said:


> Ditto _What dreams may come._ Great art direction... too bad they forgot about plot, writing, direction, and acting. Otherwise it was grand.


yeah, exactly


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## Max (Sep 26, 2002)

Another one, which I couldn't actually get through (maybe one day) is _The Wiz_, that blackalicious take-off of _The Wizard Of Oz._ Horrendo magnifico.


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

I have seen way too many bad movies lately - "Fun with Dick and Jane", "Hostel", "Crash", "Bob the Butler" and "Aeon Flux"....


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## mrjimmy (Nov 8, 2003)

The Anchorman  

I _really disliked_ The Anchorman.


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## MaxPower (Jan 30, 2003)

mrjimmy said:


> The Anchorman
> 
> I HATED The Anchorman.


Come on now. You stay classy. 

Ultraviolet. Big Stink.

One I saw a long time ago and was probably the worst $2 I spent on a rental - Joy Ride.


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## NBiBooker (Apr 3, 2004)

Ultraviolet. Major disappointment. Worst movie since Mario Bros.

Aeon Flux? Not so bad, better plot that Ultraviolet. 

Wedding Crashers: Hilarous.


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

NBiBooker said:


> Aeon Flux? Not so bad, better plot that Ultraviolet.


I'm shuddering at the though of Ultraviolet... :yikes:


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## Eidetic (Oct 6, 2003)

ArtistSeries said:


> I have seen way too many bad movies lately - "Fun with Dick and Jane", "Hostel", "Crash", "Bob the Butler" and "Aeon Flux"....


fun with dick and jane as unbelieveably bad, 
crash was ok, not great
Aeon flux, bad movie, great visuals IE: Charlize Theron :love2:


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## Lawrence (Mar 11, 2003)

Everything on Bell T.V. is either bad or a repeat,
How's Mr. Rogers neighbourhood?
(Why did I sign a three year contract)

I don't go to movie theatres very often...
I hate the seats and all the crunching sounds people make,
Course the sticky goo on the floor is no picnic either.
(Why can't people eat before they go to a movie)

D


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## SteveZissou (Jun 10, 2005)

ArtistSeries said:


> I have seen way too many bad movies lately - "Fun with Dick and Jane", "Hostel", "Crash", "Bob the Butler" and "Aeon Flux"....


I couldn't agree with ArtistSeries more....Crash was a piece of garbage...not an original idea in it, let alone a HORRIBLE directing job.


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## Max (Sep 26, 2002)

I really enjoyed _Crash_ myself. But it seems to be one of those gigs which produces extremes of reaction.


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## shoe (Apr 6, 2005)

I downloaded a copy of Lary the Cable Guy Health Inspector. I really wasnt expecting a major hit or anything what made this movie bad was the guy who taped it for piracy purposes fell alseep and was snorring in the background, made it kinda hard to enjoy.

shoe


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## Lawrence (Mar 11, 2003)

SteveZissou said:


> I couldn't agree with ArtistSeries more....Crash was a piece of garbage...not an original idea in it, let alone a HORRIBLE directing job.


I guess you have to see it from a Southerners view, Or in some cases a lot of views.
I quite enjoyed it, Yes, I found it to be a very sensitive movie, Although I come from
a different background than most and felt that this movie deserved a lot of credit.
("I didn't ask for your help"...That was a very moving scene)

But if you don't see the world like some people do then who am I to change your view.

(It's not like it was Eraserhead)
http://www.davidlynch.de/head.html

D


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## iMatt (Dec 3, 2004)

I couldn't make it through David Cronenberg's _Crash_ a few years ago, and the recent movie of the same name sounds too much like a rehash of a piece of tripe from the late 80s called _Grand Canyon._ I'll pass. 

Like others, I hated _Anchor Man_. I understood what they were trying to do, but the whole thing just seemed to lack effective comedic timing. And I'm not by any means immune to enjoying movies that are intentionally ultra-silly and just plain stupid (_Zoolander_, _Meet the Parents_...)


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## iNeedhelp (Oct 23, 2005)

Teeterboy, you hearin' all this Anchorman hating?


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## guytoronto (Jun 25, 2005)

Just saw The Sentinel. Don't waste your time.

Memoirs of a Geisha. Yawn....


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## overkill (May 15, 2005)

guytoronto said:


> Just saw The Sentinel. Don't waste your time.


how bad was the sentinel? i was going to go see it, but then thought it looked like a 24 movie with Jack Bauer


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## modsuperstar (Nov 23, 2004)

I saw Benchwarmers and it was pretty bad


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

THEY CAME BACK, a French film about thousands of dead people returning to life and enacting a mysterious plan. While the acting is fine, the plan is so mysterious as to be completely incomprehensible. I'm a fan of some ambiguity, but the audience is given nothing to go on,


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## hmoin (Aug 5, 2005)

*don't watch "The sound of thunder"*

I repeat, don't EVER watch "The sound of thunder". Just watch the Simpsons episode where Homer goes back in time via his time travel toaster. Its pays better homage to the original short story of Ray Badbury. XX)


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## iMatt (Dec 3, 2004)

Macfury said:


> THEY CAME BACK, a French film about thousands of dead people returning to life and enacting a mysterious plan. While the acting is fine, the plan is so mysterious as to be completely incomprehensible. I'm a fan of some ambiguity, but the audience is given nothing to go on,


Hmmm...intrigued, I looked this one up at IMDB. From some of the comments, it seems that the zombies are simply trying to reclaim their previous lives. I find that an interesting premise, though I can see it being a dull film if not handled well. I'm almost tempted to check it out despite your anti-recommendation, but there are so many other movies to see...


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## MacDoc (Nov 3, 2001)

Con guy movie I had to turn off...... *Seven Times Lucky*.......uggggggglllllllyyyyy 

some trivia about how poorly thought out and executed



> There are '70s and '80s cars and rotary dial phones coupled with the latest cellphones


Canadian too...more's the pity.


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

iMatt said:


> Hmmm...intrigued, I looked this one up at IMDB. From some of the comments, it seems that the zombies are simply trying to reclaim their previous lives. I find that an interesting premise, though I can see it being a dull film if not handled well. I'm almost tempted to check it out despite your anti-recommendation, but there are so many other movies to see...


Same here. 
Zombie tries to reclaim their old lives - feel something is wrong and?


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I went in on the strength of these people "trying to reclaim their past lives" but that's not accurate--they don't really try. They go home, act vaguely distracted and dissatisfied, then plan something that the audience doesn't get the slightest hint of.


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

MacFury, thanks for the explanation, sounds too esoteric in a sense.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I combined my appreciation of true zombie movies and patriotism and watched Canada's "Zombie Night." A true shot-on-video mess. Just a bunch of people moving from one building to another. The leader of the group keeps making unacknowledged errors that end up punctuated by mass slaughter. At any given time there might be 10 or 100 people holed up--no way to tell. The thing that makes it truly Canadian: the first couple driving into the city is unaware that the world has been overrun by zombies because they were "at the cottage." A sequence featuring the hero's heartfelt prayer about the situation is something else to behold.


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## guytoronto (Jun 25, 2005)

NBiBooker said:


> Ultraviolet. Major disappointment. Worst movie since Mario Bros.


Oh my gawd! I just downloaded it to see how bad it was. Un-frickin-believable how bad it was.


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## 9mmCensor (Jan 27, 2006)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067810/


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## MannyP Design (Jun 8, 2000)

Saw the Wild World of Batwoman the only way it can be watched: in Mystery Science Theatre 3000.


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## Gerbill (Jul 1, 2003)

_The Life Aquatic_ got good reviews, but it's absolutely the worst movie I ever sat all the way through. Good cast, (Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, Anjelica Huston, Willem Dafoe) but the story makes absolutely no sense to me.

Maybe the movie has some virtues I just don't "get" though, because the viewers at IMDB give it 7.3 out of 10.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0362270/

If they had negative stars, that would be my vote.


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## MacDoc (Nov 3, 2001)

Bat.....Cat..cat CAT WOMAN!!!! ......... horrid movie.


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## SoyMac (Apr 16, 2005)

Gerbill said:


> _The Life Aquatic_ got good reviews, but it's absolutely the worst movie I ever sat all the way through. ...http://imdb.com/title/tt0362270/
> 
> If they had negative stars, that would be my vote.


I absolutely _*loved*_ The Life Aquatic.:clap: 
But I also think I am within a slim majority amongst others in my circle who saw it. Say, of my friends, 6 to 4 liked it. (6 liked, 4 didn't like)


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

I didn't mind _The Life Aquatic_ overall, but it wasn't quite as good as I was hoping it would be -- especially towards the end. Not as interesting or consistent (or subtly insane) as _The Royal Tenenbaums_, which is one of my faves.


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## mrjimmy (Nov 8, 2003)

I found the Life Aquatic to be a bit of a lunchbag letdown.

I think he was trying way too hard. I also think he was copying his own style. There was nothing fresh or original like Rushmore or The Royal Tannenbaums.


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## iNeedhelp (Oct 23, 2005)

mrjimmy said:


> I found the Life Aquatic to be a bit of a lunchbag letdown.


Yup. I stopped watching within the first ten minutes.


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## nxnw (Dec 22, 2002)

Gerbill said:


> _The Life Aquatic_ got good reviews, but it's absolutely the worst movie I ever sat all the way through. Good cast, (Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, Anjelica Huston, Willem Dafoe) but the story makes absolutely no sense to me....


I really liked _The Life Aquatic_, but it does remind me of another movie that was well received that I felt was overrated: _Lost in Translation_.

Other big movies I disliked a lot: _The Piano_, _Moulin Rouge_, _Shine_, _The Deer Hunter_ and, of course, _The Phantom Menace._


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## fellfromtree (May 18, 2005)

I watched The Constant Gardener last week ( I almost bought it from Columbia House just to fulfill my obligation- good choice to return the card). I would like to have that $4 rental fee back. 
All the way through, I kept thinking of another 4 bucks I wasted on The Interpreter, time/money wasted on Ondaatje's book, Anil's Ghost... and wishing I had just popped Oliver Stone's Salvador into the dvd player instead. At least James Woods is a good watch.


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## Max (Sep 26, 2002)

Man, I must be living in a parallel universe. I loved _The Life Aquatic_ and I thought _The Constant Gardener_ was terrific.


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## cavemanatlarge (Jan 30, 2004)

*"Stick it" stank*

Well, I am crashing at my sisters place near the local theatre in Alymer. This limits the choice of movies I can see by walking to the theatre.

As a result, I have seen some really really bad movies. "Stick it" simply stank. Alot, I mean really really alot. For that matter, so did "Ultraviolet". 

I have also seen "RV" lately. I laughed a fair amount but mostly because I was in a silly mood. I have seen worse Robin Williams films, but I can't think of the titles. See this movie with a theatre full of people to get the most out of it.

I agree with whoever said "Anchorman" was bad. I was heading west from Ottawa last year on the bus and they tortured me with Anchorman in the TV in front of my seat. Awful. I will have to learn how to sleep on buses one of these days. Or get the mineral exploration companies I work for to actually fly me to work.

I have seen a few more bad ones and if I remember them I will post them.

Caveman


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## JCCanuck (Apr 17, 2005)

Troy! Gag that was so horrible and pathetic!
Any movie with Sandra Bullock! Gag!
Final Fantasy Seven. Gag! Mind you it did have the best animation I had every seen but the bad and extremely confusing plot just killed it.
Any movie with Adam Sandler! Double Gag!
In fact don't you people find that "live" movies just are rehashing themselves to oblivion? No wonder the CG movies are doing well. But then, other than Pixar so far, they are starting to rehash themselves.


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

Max said:


> Man, I must be living in a parallel universe. I loved _The Life Aquatic_ and I thought _The Constant Gardener_ was terrific.


I have the feeling I'm stuck in your universe...


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

guytoronto said:


> Oh my gawd!* I just downloaded it* to see how bad it was. Un-frickin-believable how bad it was.


Isn't that illegal?


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

AS: Is it illegal to make bad films now?


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

Macfury said:


> AS: Is it illegal to make bad films now?


If that was the case, we would be out of film makers...

Speaking of bad Canadian Zombie flicks: A Zombie Nurse in Love.... what did you think of it?


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

ArtistSeries said:


> I have the feeling I'm stuck in your universe...


Did someone say parallel universe?


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I didn't see that one--it looked kind of weak. How bad was it?

There's a sequel coming to Zombie Night, by the way.


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## 2063 (Nov 9, 2003)

Shopgirl was abysmal. I can't really start in describing how poor it was, but it was attempting to rip off Lost In Translation, a film I loved, and failed miserably.

Poor Steve Martin trying to do to his career what Bill Murray did. I like Steve, but this sucked.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Shopgirl got a lot of rave reviews from critics, but considering the fairly wide release, it was clearly rejected by ticket buyers. I think people like Steve Martin so much that they're loathe to give him bad reviews.


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## overkill (May 15, 2005)

'The Core' - dont have really anything to add to it. just blah!


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## Vexel (Jan 30, 2005)

The New World - Blah, Grubby Colin Farrell.. meh


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

overkill said:


> 'The Core' - dont have really anything to add to it. just blah!


What about the sequel, DUAL-CORE?


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## overkill (May 15, 2005)

im watching the sequel everytime i turn on my mac


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## Ena (Feb 7, 2005)

The Terminal (2004) Tom Hanks and Catherine Zeta-Jones

Too long, soppy story and Hanks failing miserably at doing an accent.


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## LaurieR (Feb 9, 2006)

I totally agree - I thought it was terrible and the accent was just embarrassing. I shut it off halfway through because I just couldn't take it anymore.



Ena said:


> The Terminal (2004) Tom Hanks and Catherine Zeta-Jones
> 
> Too long, soppy story and Hanks failing miserably at doing an accent.


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## iMatt (Dec 3, 2004)

I saw the Constant Gardener recently. (Spoilers ahoy, if it matters.)

My verdict: it's not a very good movie, but it isn't really a stinker either. Overall, I found the story to be a bit of a poor man's Graham Greene tale. All the requisite conflicted morals and intrigue, but far too little of the subtle shading of the ambiguous nature of good guys and bad guys. In fact, my main complaint was that you knew that Sandy was a bad guy from his first or second scene. All that was left was to find out exactly what the bad guys did, and how, because the "who" and "why" were answered quite early on.

I don't know if this is typical of John Le Carré, or a flaw in adaptation. I also was unimpressed by Fernando Meirelles' work compared to the (IMO) terrific City of God. The hand-held camera work was especially annoying, and I was glad I didn't see this one on the big screen for that reason.

As an aside, I know that one big complaint about this movie is the credibility-stretching plot. Interestingly, a major pharma corp has now been accused of carrying out illegal drug tests in Nigeria, complete with suppressed report. So maybe that part of the story isn't as far-fetched as it might seem...


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## Strimkind (Mar 31, 2005)

Life aquatic was decent
Jarhead = bad remake of Full Metal Jacket
13th warrior....yuck
Queen of the Dammed = terrible
Many of the new movies like aeon flux and ultraviolet almost looked good enough to watch to me but I never went to waste my money (glad I didn't).


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## mrt_mcfly (Oct 25, 2005)

elizabethtown was unabashedly bad...

i really enjoyed a life aquatic, however, it was definitely missing someting (hint: wes anderson wrote this without the aid of owen wilson).

worse.movie.ever...blank check. i know it's a disney movie, but in the words of gob bluth..."come on!"

edit: luke wilson was also missing from a life aquatic...BUT, the soundtrack is, as usual, fantastic.


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## overkill (May 15, 2005)

Well if anyone wants to see a bad movie "Dude, Where's My Car?" is on tonight. 9pm on CityTV!


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

The Man Who Knew Too Little. Amusing in places, but overall it's pretty bad.


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## VVA88IT (Aug 21, 2005)

I made the mistake of watching M. Night Shyamalan's 2004 The Village last week. After watching the movie, I felt like the "village idiot" for having sat through the movie.

Just can't believe that a movie can be this bad given this cast:

Bryce Dallas Howard ....	Ivy Walker
Joaquin Phoenix ....	Lucius Hunt
Adrien Brody ....	Noah Percy
William Hurt ....	Edward Walker
Sigourney Weaver ....	Alice Hunt
Brendan Gleeson ....	August Nicholson
Cherry Jones ....	Mrs. Clack
Celia Weston ....	Vivian Percy
John Christopher Jones ....	Robert Percy
Frank Collison ....	Victor
Jayne Atkinson ....	Tabitha Walker
Judy Greer ....	Kitty Walker
Fran Kranz ....	Christop Crane
Michael Pitt ....	Finton Coin
Jesse Eisenberg ....	Jamison


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## 32bitJesus (Jun 3, 2003)

ArtistSeries said:


> I have seen way too many bad movies lately - "Fun with Dick and Jane", "Hostel", "Crash", "Bob the Butler" and "Aeon Flux"....


Whoah, I saw all of those at a friends house within the span of two days recently, except for Bob the Butler... (my friend works at a video store). Weird coincidence.


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

32bitJesus said:


> Whoah, I saw all of those at a friends house within the span of two days recently, except for Bob the Butler... (my friend works at a video store). Weird coincidence.


Add a Jarhead, Satans Litte Helper, Undead, Power of Nightmares and Way of the Vampire to my list....
Undead is a failed zombie movie, but I'm not sure it deserves Bad movie - maybe bad-good movie...


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Saw UNDEAD on the big screen a year ago. Had lots of promise but splits in too many directions. Love the triple-barrelled shotgun though.


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

Ena said:


> The Terminal (2004) Tom Hanks and Catherine Zeta-Jones
> 
> Too long, soppy story and Hanks failing miserably at doing an accent.


actually his "slavic" accent was pretty good
hardest is the "R" - it's unique and he got it pretty good

as for the zeta jones character, she says; "Oh I know I can pass for 29"

in what? metric years?


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## ArtistSeries (Nov 8, 2004)

Macfury said:


> Saw UNDEAD on the big screen a year ago. Had lots of promise but splits in too many directions. Love the triple-barrelled shotgun though.


I'm a sucker for a good-bad zombie flick. This one had all the right ingredients but the whole was a mess. Dawn of the Dead (remake) and Land of the Dead where satisfying in the genre.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

AS: I picked up a DVD of THE DEAD NEXT DOOR and rather enjoyed it despite its budgetary restraints. Anchor Bay really sweetened the presentation which had initially been on Super 8.


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## overkill (May 15, 2005)

2 Fast 2 Furious = 2 much bad! Such a terrible movie. I sometimes dont know why I put myself through so much pain!


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## MACSPECTRUM (Oct 31, 2002)

watched brokeback mountain
very boring
very, very boring

fighiting, sex, more fighting, more sex
like being at the brunswick house (toronto centric joke) on a friday nite


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## ErnstNL (Apr 12, 2003)

Domino.
What a bad excuse for a music video.


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## overkill (May 15, 2005)

'You Got Served' - at least the title was right in that i did get served for watching the first 5 minutes of this movie...yikes! no wonder its on IMDB's list of worst movies ever.


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## Beej (Sep 10, 2005)

overkill said:


> 2 Fast 2 Furious = 2 much bad! Such a terrible movie. I sometimes dont know why I put myself through so much pain!


Same goes for Tokyo Drift. I felt like a flashy, loud and pointless action movie. It was loud and pointless. The action was bad and it didn't even have that flashy larger-than-life feel of an expensive Hollywood flick. Sometimes I really wondered if the writers expected a given plot development or line to "up the ante" instead of making me roll my eyes.


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## MacDoc (Nov 3, 2001)

Eternal Springtime.......yuck .....and I'm in good company O Scott of the NYT was rightly disgusted too. Pretentious garbase DESPITE the cast.

oooh and then there is Batwoman which I simply could NOT sit through.


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## Deep Blue (Sep 16, 2005)

From a long time ago, featuring a very young and snarly Sting: Dune.

Forget the spice and get the smelling salts.


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## used to be jwoodget (Aug 22, 2002)

iMatt said:


> I saw the Constant Gardener recently. (Spoilers ahoy, if it matters.)
> 
> My verdict: it's not a very good movie, but it isn't really a stinker either. Overall, I found the story to be a bit of a poor man's Graham Greene tale. All the requisite conflicted morals and intrigue, but far too little of the subtle shading of the ambiguous nature of good guys and bad guys. In fact, my main complaint was that you knew that Sandy was a bad guy from his first or second scene. All that was left was to find out exactly what the bad guys did, and how, because the "who" and "why" were answered quite early on.
> 
> ...


FWIW, the story by Le Carré was partly inspired by the Nancy Olivieri affair in Toronto. So its perhaps a little less out there than most people think......


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## Mugatu (Mar 31, 2005)

Mission to Mars I (unfortunately) got dragged out to see this one in the theaters back in 2000. My favourite part was when the entire theatre cheered with glee when Tim Robbins character got freeze-dried in space. Had to watch it again a couple weekend ago (the chances you take when you let someone bring a movie over  ).


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## The Doug (Jun 14, 2003)

Agreed re: Mission To Mars.

What I liked: Design, cinematography, visuals.

What I disliked: Everything else. Bad screenplay, bad direction, bad casting, lousy acting, plodding pace. This capsule review on Rotten Tomatoes sums it up nicely:



> Mission to Mars is what happens when a film junkie gets hold of millions of dollars' worth of Tinkertoys and a script written by a video-store clerk.


For me the most cringe-inducing moment comes near the end of this boring dud, when we are subjected to that overlong close-up of Gary Sinise as he smiles into the camera while in that liquid chamber thingie. Brian de Palma should have been in there instead, and drowning.


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## Beej (Sep 10, 2005)

Nacho Libre. Absolutely horrid.

I like Jack Black in small doses, such as a Tenacious D song or a single skit. Given that, I had still hoped for a Saturday afternoon half-pay-attention flick. Even at that, this movie did not deliver. The best part about it is the title.


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## TroutMaskReplica (Feb 28, 2003)

Beej, Nacho Libre was the worst movie I have ever seen.

'Employee of the Month' was so bad I had to ask my GF 'what was that bad movie we saw recently?', because I couldn't remember the name or what it was about.


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## mrjimmy (Nov 8, 2003)

There was a 3 story ad for it on the side of Madison Square Gardens in the spring. Having had no idea about it at the time - seeing Jack Black in his tights 3 stories high....priceless. After seeing the trailer, ¡No una ocasión!


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## Macified (Sep 18, 2003)

Kids finally talked me into renting Napoleon Dynamite. Yawn. Boring. Not funny. Just flat out stupid. 

Perfect movie for a cult following.


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## Beej (Sep 10, 2005)

300. The neat visuals were in the ads and there was nought else. Just a lot of Leonidas screaming and ineffective (effectively bad) intentional cheesiness.


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## CubaMark (Feb 16, 2001)

Spider Man 3. Ick.


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## titans88 (Oct 3, 2007)

The more I think about it, 10 000 BC is the worst film I have ever seen.


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## monokitty (Jan 26, 2002)

titans88 said:


> The more I think about it, 10 000 BC is the worst film I have ever seen.


I'll post my opinion later this week regarding this movie when I go to see it. Looked appealing to myself.


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## MannyP Design (Jun 8, 2000)

Beowulf--when is Robert Zemeckis going to realize that all the technology in the world means absolute squat if you don't know how to use it effectively? Clearly he didn't learn from his mistakes in The Polar Express. Digitally capturing performances have always required hand-tweaking by animators to get the most out of them. It's time Robert moved on.

Pros: Nice visuals. Good voice-work; lots of talented actors.

Cons: diluted performances; the emotion of the voice usually didn't match up with the actor's expressions; in spite of cutting edge technology things like hair looked awful--it looked like it belonged to CG movies from 5 years ago; just a whole lot of issues overall.

Overall I found it to be a disappointment.


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## titans88 (Oct 3, 2007)

Lars said:


> I'll post my opinion later this week regarding this movie when I go to see it. Looked appealing to myself.


When I first heard the title of the film, I figured it would be right up my alley. I was a Classical Studies and Anthropology student in University, who took a keen interest in Physical Anthropology and Archaeology. I'd liked to think i'm well versed in pre-history, and have a grasp of the general timeline of what happened roughly 12 000 years ago. The film is extremely inaccurate in regards to what history has shown us. From mammoths in North Africa building pyramids, to metal tools and weapons.

Generally I wouldn't mind those sort of hitsorical mis-steps if the film was enjoyable. My biggest problems were extremely poor acting, and awful CGI. That is just my opinion though.


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## (( p g )) (Aug 17, 2002)

Mugatu said:


> Mission to Mars I (unfortunately) got dragged out to see this one in the theaters back in 2000. My favourite part was when the entire theatre cheered with glee when Tim Robbins character got freeze-dried in space. Had to watch it again a couple weekend ago (the chances you take when you let someone bring a movie over  ).



Oh man...I agree. My wife and I saw that in the theatre and I can still remember us looking at the other in disbelief at how bad a trainwreck it was.

Tim Robbins looked genuinely happy when his character died. You could almost hear him saying "so long suckers!!!!!"


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## chas_m (Dec 2, 2007)

HA! You people are WIMPS when it comes to bad movies!

I've seen movies so bad you want to KILL YOURSELF, and THEN the filmmaker!! 

For example, try to sit through Manos, the Hands of Fate without the (mandatory) Mystery Science Theatre 3000 people there to help you. Go ahead -- IF YOU DARE!

Wait, here's another idea -- why not sit through Andy Warhol's 8-hour long film, Empire State Building. It's just footage of the building at dusk. For eight hours. Better yet, you have to see it in a cinema where you can't hit "pause" or "fast forward." That's one is so awful you're actually proud of yourself for having survived it.


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## monokitty (Jan 26, 2002)

chas_m said:


> HA! You people are WIMPS when it comes to bad movies!
> 
> I've seen movies so bad you want to KILL YOURSELF, and THEN the filmmaker!!
> 
> ...


So then the more important question is: How did _you_ get stuck watching said films?


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## MannyP Design (Jun 8, 2000)

chas_m said:


> HA! You people are WIMPS when it comes to bad movies!
> 
> I've seen movies so bad you want to KILL YOURSELF, and THEN the filmmaker!!
> 
> ...


Been there, done that. The wife and I have a collection of nearly every Mst3k show in existance... including the early KTLE episodes.


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## cap10subtext (Oct 13, 2005)

chas_m said:


> HA! You people are WIMPS when it comes to bad movies!
> 
> I've seen movies so bad you want to KILL YOURSELF, and THEN the filmmaker!!
> 
> ...


No fair bringing the Avant Garde into this!  (And I don't mean MST3K).


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## MacGuiver (Sep 6, 2002)

Vanilla Skies with Tom Cruise. Horrible.XX) Raining frogs and all.
Before Sunrise with Ethan Hawke, first movie I ever left the theatre half way through and we were not the first to leave. Girl I worked with thought it was brilliant. 
I do believe they even made a sequel. 

Cheers
MacGuiver


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## iMatt (Dec 3, 2004)

chas_m said:


> HA! You people are WIMPS when it comes to bad movies!
> 
> I've seen movies so bad you want to KILL YOURSELF, and THEN the filmmaker!!


Well... everyone has their idea of what constitutes a "bad" movie. Your examples are the kind of thing that give plenty of prior warning, so I won't be seeing them anyway. To me that puts them in a category above the movies I hate most: the ones that promise way more than they deliver.

It really burns to see big-budget attempts at high-concept irony that fizzle from the first gorgeous frame to the last (yo, *Marie Antoinette*!); or scrappy indie adaptations of good sci-fi material that start out OK before pissing all over the source material in the third act (hey, *Screamers*, whassup?); or once-respected filmmakers cranking out depressingly flaccid self-plagiarism (sorry, *Match Point*, but you're no Crimes and Misdemeanors); and, of course, badly botched sequels (see OP in thread among many more).

These and many more like them may not be anywhere near the worst flicks in movie history (some might even be pretty good by some standards), but they deceive and disappoint in their own way, because they either aspire to be more than they are or lazily ride the coattails of greatness. In a way, they're worse than the lowbrow tripe I don't even need to see before I can dismiss it.


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## iMatt (Dec 3, 2004)

MacGuiver said:


> Before Sunrise with Ethan Hawke, first movie I ever left the theatre half way through and we were not the first to leave. Girl I worked with thought it was brilliant.
> I do believe they even made a sequel.


I quite liked those films, though not to the point that I've needed to see them again. 

Richard Linklater seems to be a polarizing filmmaker. Either you're into what he's saying and trying to do (mainly in an existentialist vein)... or you really, really aren't. Waking Life is another of his that seems to divide audiences.


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## chas_m (Dec 2, 2007)

Lars said:


> So then the more important question is: How did _you_ get stuck watching said films?


Among other jobs I've had in my life, I was a professional film critic for a good while. People think it's an easy job, but it's not -- and the hardest part is having to go see film you know you will loathe because someone wants to pay you for your opinion of it -- and you turn out to be more right than you could have imagined. 

Of course, MST3K gave me a taste for "good" bad movies and I really do enjoy them, even without the "MST3K" treatment. There's a group in the states that performs an "MST" style treatment on old "Doctor Who" episodes -- heaven!


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## cap10subtext (Oct 13, 2005)

MacGuiver said:


> Vanilla Skies with Tom Cruise. Horrible.XX) Raining frogs and all.
> Before Sunrise with Ethan Hawke, first movie I ever left the theatre half way through and we were not the first to leave. Girl I worked with thought it was brilliant.
> I do believe they even made a sequel.
> 
> ...


Wasn't the raining frogs in Magnolia? You seem to be confusing your Tom Cruise shlockery.  

I never did see Before Sunrise but I quite like Linklater's other films.


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## cap10subtext (Oct 13, 2005)

chas_m said:


> There's a group in the states that performs an "MST" style treatment on old "Doctor Who" episodes -- heaven!


You and my brother would get along like a house on fire.  :lmao:


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