# New, but not improved, Nigerian SPAM



## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I suppose I admire the optimism of the person who sent this. As though the incident with the underpants bomber has somehow added to the cost of my package from Nigeria. Mr. Powell cagily admits that he knows that an ATM card sent to me represents an inheritance fund. I particularly like the final salutation. Nice touch.



> From:
> "US Customs and Border Protection" <[email protected]>
> 
> Date:
> ...


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## Manatus (May 11, 2009)

I like how his government email address is on a first name basis only.

Sadly a few people will probably fall for it, especially out of fear of not responding to someone from Customs.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I suppose even some Canadians would believe that their Nigerian package gets routed through the U.S.

Anthony is, of course, a very rare name so there would be no confusion if they just assigned that as a unique address.


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

Email received today:

(I respectfully offer it for consideration by anyone looking to secure delivery of ... um ... I think it says 600,000 starlings.)



> DATE: 07th Feb., 2010.
> 
> FedEx Delivery Service.
> 
> ...


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

The best part: 



> Six Hundred Thousand Pounds *Starlings*.


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## Max (Sep 26, 2002)

Does ah some mighty heavy boids!


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## Snapple Quaffer (Sep 2, 2003)

Yes ... that 'delivery' would weigh in at about 50 tons or so by my reckoning.

(Check my math(s) would you Macfury, there's a good fellow. I assume of course that the starlings are the European variety, and are all healthy adults.)


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## jlcinc (Dec 13, 2002)

Yea, what is going on an new syndicate or something. I have been getting at least two scams a day for the past month. By now I should be a millionaire.

John


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## ScanMan (Sep 11, 2007)

Dumb comment. Delete.


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

Snapple - Nice to know somebody in Nigeria loves you enough to send such a Valentine gift, but since it's for Valentine's, shouldn't they be LOVE Birds? 

I mean Starlings are considered a pest bird over there, aren't they? What does that say about the gift? 

Just askin.


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## jlcinc (Dec 13, 2002)

Just ended in my spam folder. And it seems that he is out of his mind as well as his phone and email. _

Note: Contact FedEX Courier as soon as possible for I will be out of both phone and emails._

_Attention,

Compliment of the season to you.

I have been waiting for you to contact me for the Bank Draft
of $800,000.00 United States Dollars, I did not hear from you.
Then I had to deposit the draft with Federal Express Courier (FedEx).

I have paid part of the charges for the safe delivery of the
Bank Draft, the only money you are to pay to FedEx, is the
Demurrage Fee,which is amounted to $65. You have to contact
them now for the delivery of your Bank Draft. You are to
reconfirm your Name, postal address(s) and direct phone number
to them.

Below is the information of FedEx office in West Africa.
The parcel registration number is NIG/6001/234

Contact Person: Patrick Gomez
Email: [email protected]
Telephone: +234-805-947-0976

Note: Contact FedEX Courier as soon as possible for I will be
out of both phone and emails.

Yours Faithfully,
Richmond Caterina._


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

SQ, I wonder if those are laden or unladen starlings.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

If West Africa continues to send millions of dollars overseas, it will soon find itself in a dire economic crisis.


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## Manatus (May 11, 2009)

Macfury said:


> If West Africa continues to send millions of dollars overseas, it will soon find itself in a dire economic crisis.


They have to be careful, I mean they apparently only have one construction company after all.


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## ComputerIdiot (Jan 8, 2004)

I am proud to announce that the U.S. military wants to give me money:



> *Dear Servicemember, *
> 
> *This is a second attempt to reach you. Please confirm your GI BILL assignment possibility.*
> 
> ...


The closest I have ever been to being in anybody's military was the Katimavik program when it first started up; I have certainly never been in the U.S. military (don't you have to be a citizen for that?)

Still, I could certainly use $49,000 U.S. ...


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

This is the SECOND attempt they've made to contact you. Can't you show these people a little respect on behalf of your country?


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## ComputerIdiot (Jan 8, 2004)

Macfury said:


> This is the SECOND attempt they've made to contact you. Can't you show these people a little respect on behalf of your country?


Oh my goodness, you are SO right! Here, I'll just send off all the required info, including my bank account details ...

And good luck to them if they plan to raid my bank account. At the moment it contains mostly dead flies and fluff.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Possibly one of the worst SPAM letters to date:



> UPS Nigeria Head Office
> 70 International Airport Road
> Mafoluku,Lagos
> TEL:+234-8071015004
> ...


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## ScanMan (Sep 11, 2007)

^^ The tears in my eyes prevented me from reading much beyond...essential massage. It's as if "The Nigerian Letter" was remade in 3-D!


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

A Nigerian SPAM risorgimento!

This had me laughing too:



> And also the UPS courier Service Company is hereby to inform all their
> customers by eradicating all their communication with the scam mailsthat
> are going all-over the world be careful with their e-mails so that your
> parcel will not be in danger _with their evil planes_.


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## Max (Sep 26, 2002)

LOL

That ought to be set to music, it's so good. "Their Evil Planes," by Nigel and the Nigerians.


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## ScanMan (Sep 11, 2007)

feat. Sam the Sham


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

ScanMan said:


> feat. Sam the Sham


Owoooooooooooo.


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## ScanMan (Sep 11, 2007)

Nigerian authorities have got their hands full, what with the demo and all... 

YouTube - The Nigerian Police Force Band - Asiko Mi Ni


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

ScanMan said:


> Nigerian authorities have got their hands full, what with the demo and all...
> 
> YouTube - The Nigerian Police Force Band - Asiko Mi Ni


I have to agree with forsakenperil on this one.

Oh - and _never_ take your eyes off the police officer, because he _never_ takes his eyes off of you. ...or does he?


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Woot! ScanMan's almost got the big M:





​


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## ScanMan (Sep 11, 2007)

Finally chucked the last spear into that lumbering Mastodon.

http://www.ehmac.ca/everything-else...d-woman-grows-horn-forehead-2.html#post946752


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## eMacMan (Nov 27, 2006)

Beyond the recent letters from the Director of the FBI telling me that the Nigerian I was corresponding with was a scammer and I should instead send my money to a special bank account in Dallas; I have also received this:









Beyond the obvious clue that this was sent to my "slum" box, and was generically addressed via BCC. The attachments are HTML format. 

Still people should be aware that these scum will indeed do things like pretend to be the Director of the FBI or Revenue Canada.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Just received a _hard copy_ letter from South Africa making the typical Nigerian scam offer.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

We laugh about these things, but an amazing number of people have no clue.

In another thread, I've mentioned a cookbook project I'm involved with. We all live in a seniors' low-rent apartment building and I thought a cookbook of old recipes and memories of the "olden" days would make a nice gift for our grandchildren. The kind of stories I had in mind could have happened to anybody so could stand without identifying the author.

A serious conflict has arisen. One member of the committee wants the stories to read like obituaries. Here's an example



> "xxxxxx's story
> 
> xxx was born near Great Lake, Sk., to a farming family. She had 7 sisters and 2 brothers. Her one sister, (xxxx xxxx #nnn), lives here. Her youngest brother still lives in xxxxxx, Sk. Ann married in xxxxxx, Sk., and farmed with her husband and was blessed with one daughter and one son. She has lived in xxxxxx xxxxxx for 15 years now. When asked what makes her happy, Ann replied, "My Family". That family includes 10 grandchildren and 12 great grandchildren. xxxx's faith is important to her and she enjoys playing cribbage downstairs with the group and also enjoys watching curling on t.v. xxxx has been an inspiration to all and at 97, she continues to amaze us with her quiet manner and incredible grace."


The person who interviewed this lady wants full names and apartment numbers published in the book. When I said that was a very bad idea, she went all hostile. 

sigh.

Margaret


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

You know, winwin, that's a really bad idea to identify everyone like that. 

If you're printing these out, why not identify the stories by first name only, then print a little certificate along with the gift book, identifying who the giver is and pointing to the story that belongs to them? They can give out their personal address, phone number, name, rank and serial number at will to book recipients.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Macfury said:


> You know, winwin, that's a really bad idea to identify everyone like that.
> 
> If you're printing these out, why not identify the stories by first name only, then print a little certificate along with the gift book, identifying who the giver is and pointing to the story that belongs to them? They can give out their personal address, phone number, name, rank and serial number at will to book recipients.


Oh, I *know* it's a bad idea and there is a serious conflict among the committee - I seem to be the only one who realizes there's a problem. The response I'm getting from the rest of the committee is that everyone's phone number and address is already in the phone book. When I point out that the phone book doesn't provide age, number of siblings, children, grandchildren, etc. they say "nobody would use a cookbook to scam people" 

I'll cancel the project before I let anything like that get printed.

Margaret


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## ScanMan (Sep 11, 2007)

I'm with MF on this one, big time. That's simply way too much information to be freely handing out. 

Example: my Mother has been bombarded with every scam and spam going for years. Why? I believe a main reason is because she simply can't help responding with a cheque for $10.00 to every stinking fly-by-night charity that wants to send her a ream or self-addressed envelope labels.

There's a mountain of them on her desk. Her drawers are brimming with them, and she only mails about three letters a year! If she remembers to mail them.

That address of hers has really gotten around. And Like MF's recent mailbox mung, dear Mom gets hard copy junk that's printed up like the bloody Magna Carta. And because my last name is the same as hers, these scammers don't think twice about giving me a shot at their millions as well. 

Keep that info close to yer vest, winwintoo.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

ScanMan said:


> I'm with MF on this one, big time. That's simply way too much information to be freely handing out.
> 
> .........
> 
> Keep that info close to yer vest, winwintoo.


Thanks for your example - if you don't mind, I'll add it to the scam info that I've already collected and will be presenting to the next committee meeting.

The sad thing is that these people can't imagine anyone using information in this cookbook to scam people. What they fail to realize that at least some scams are spur of the moment. In fact the grandson of the person who demands that all that information be printed, is a drug addict. Hmm. Need drugs > need money > I'll pretend to be XXXX's greatgrandson and she'll probably give me a bunch of money to bail me out............

sigh

Margaret


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## jlcinc (Dec 13, 2002)

*[email protected]*

This is new and I can't believe the return email address if someone falls for this they deserve it.

John

_Payment Transfer Notification of GBP3, 500.000.00 Pounds

The treasury directorate division of the UK Financial Monetary Service Authority writes to inform you that we have credit advice documentary evidence in your favor to authorize the release of GBP3,500,000.00(Three Million Five hundred Thousand Pounds Only) to you being an outstanding payment accrued interest on your contract/inheritance payment. As the only authorized officer saddle with the responsibility of making sure you get and confirm the transaction, you are hereby advised to carefully confirm to us your receiving banking details for verification, so that upon clearance confirmation of your details, we shall direct the paying institution in London to immediately release and remit your payment without any further delay .
As soon as we receive and confirm this information, your credit advice confirmation evidence will be sent to our paying institution for the immediate release of the fund to your nominated account. Await your response.
Kindest regards
Chief Frank Williaams
HM Treasury London
1 Horse guards Road, London
SW1A 2HQ; London UK
Office Tel: 447024071708.
Direct all reply to: [email protected]_


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

HA! Her Majesty has nine treasuries and this one is but the fifth!

You're one lucky officer saddle...


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## jlcinc (Dec 13, 2002)

Oh yea and we (royal we) here at the palace always use gmail.


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## Max (Sep 26, 2002)

Look jlsinc, if you don't want the money, I'll just wait until they get around to letting _me_ know it's sitting there, just waiting for me to collect on it.


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## rgray (Feb 15, 2005)

winwintoo said:


> The sad thing is that these people can't imagine anyone using information in this cookbook to scam people. What they fail to realize that at least some scams are spur of the moment. In fact the grandson of the person who demands that all that information be printed, is a drug addict. Hmm. Need drugs > need money > I'll pretend to be XXXX's greatgrandson and she'll probably give me a bunch of money to bail me out............


In fact there was a news item just earlier this very week about an 80-odd grandmother who was scammed out of thousands of dollars by just exactly this method.... The 'perp' called her pretending to be a grandchild who had just been arrested - could she send money - she was able to because of a large credit/transaction limit on one of her credit cards... It was not a 'real' grandchild but nonetheless all she has now is a security camera mug shot of the perp.

In my Mac classes to over-50s I harp constantly on security and some just don't get how vulnerable they can be.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

rgray said:


> In fact there was a news item just earlier this very week about an 80-odd grandmother who was scammed out of thousands of dollars by just exactly this method.... The 'perp' called her pretending to be a grandchild who had just been arrested - could she send money - she was able to because of a large credit/transaction limit on one of her credit cards... I was not a 'real' grandchild but nonetheless all she has now is a security camera mug shot of the perp.
> 
> *In my Mac classes to over-50s I harp constantly on security and some just don't get how vulnerable the can be.*


Exactly. I've printed the on-line articles re that story and I've repeated it to everyone who'll listen here, but none think it can happen to them.

These scams happen a lot in small towns, but nobody can figure out why. Hmm. Every small town in Saskatchewan printed a "history" book over the past few years. Those "history" books contain enough information to build a plausible story by even the most retarded scam artist. 

Some of the people I'm dealing with are afraid of the computer because they think just putting their hands on that keyboard allows evil-doers to reach through and steal their identity, but those same people think nothing of letting people they don't know into the building.

Margaret


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

*SPAM from a friend... and a new MacBook!!*

Friend
now i introduce a good site to you : http:XXXXX XXXX.com　A week ago, I bought this site Apple laptops,. Amazing, it's genuine and new and as good as expected,but the price much lower .They also run mobile phones, television sets, Camera and so on. E-MAIL:[email protected] o m
　 If you feel interested , just do it .don't miss this chance. 9 
good luck M


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Oh MacFury, why did you x out the address, I want a new laptop.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I've become an official Apple laptop partner, Winwin! Just forward your credit card number to me, specify the Apple laptop you believe you're getting and the deed is done!


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Hey, good deal. I got a prepaid Visa for Christmas and I was wondering how to spend that last $2.31. I'll send you the number by PM, don't want everyone to get it.

Margaret


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

winwintoo said:


> Hey, good deal. I got a prepaid Visa for Christmas and I was wondering how to spend that last $2.31. I'll send you the number by PM, don't want everyone to get it.
> 
> Margaret


That'll buy you one MacBook... and a nice case!


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## groovetube (Jan 2, 2003)

a ma-ma-ma-ma-MACbook?


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

groovetube said:


> a ma-ma-ma-ma-MACbook?


For $231 you can have a hundred of them, and I will license you to re-sell them at whatever the local market will bear. I know nothing of such things... I leave this pricing entirely up to you.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

And now, according to this letter, I'm able to finally retire:



> Good morning,
> We have prepared a contract and added the paragraphs that you wanted to see in it.
> Our lawyers made alterations on the last page. If you agree with all the provisions we are ready to make the payment on Friday for the first consignment.
> We are enclosing the file with the prepared contract.
> ...


This wonderful news came with a helpful application explaining the whole process, but sadly it was an .exe so I couldn't install it on my Mac.

Be happy for me, Margaret


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Margaret, please make sure to get all of your personal details correct on the first shot--these Nigerian bankers are sticklers for detail.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I just received news that I've won $650,500 from the "United Nations Trust Fund." Apparently international aid is now financed through the sale of lottery tickets.


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

I have you beat Mf - I'll have you know that I just inherited $15 M from a friend or relative that I didn't even know I had! WOOOOOT!

Good ol' Sir Slim! But I'm confused...was he British or German? Why is he using dollars as currency? Is there going to be a movie? Cool!

Oh well, no worries - it's Partaaaay TIME! 



> P.Smith & Co. Solicitors
> London, England
> Office line: +44-702 403 9842
> 
> ...


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## eMacMan (Nov 27, 2006)

KC4 said:


> I have you beat Mf - I'll have you know that I just inherited $15 M from a friend or relative that I didn't even know I had! WOOOOOT!
> 
> Good ol' Sir Slim! But I'm confused...was he British or German? Why is he using dollars as currency? Is there going to be a movie? Cool!
> 
> Oh well, no worries - it's Partaaaay TIME!


Sadly when I get these they are always generically addressed to undisclosed recipient.tptptptp

Such as this:


> Dearest One,
> I am introducing my self as John Kennedy 20yrs old,the only son of late Chief and Mrs Patrick Kennedy, I wish to request for your assistance in a financial transaction. I got your contact through my search in your country for a trust worthy individual via the Google web service who will help me and my junior sister Cyntia" who is only 16yrs old in securing our late fathers money for investments overseas, And I wish to invest in Manufacturing and real estate management in your country.I have Fifteen million Five Houndred Thousand United States Dollars.USD($15.500,000.00) to invest in your country, and I will require your assistance in receiving the funds in your personal/company account for investment, we shall be glad to give you 25% of the total sum for your assistance as I have agreed with my sister. I shall send you more details after I confirm your full details and interest to help us. Sincerely,
> John.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

KC4 said:


> I have you beat Mf - I'll have you know that I just inherited $15 M from a friend or relative that I didn't even know I had! WOOOOOT!
> 
> Good ol' Sir Slim! But I'm confused...was he British or German? Why is he using dollars as currency? Is there going to be a movie? Cool!
> 
> Oh well, no worries - it's Partaaaay TIME!


KC, whatever you do, don't tell them your occupation.


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Well this one has got to be legit. It comes from a barrister and everything. He even as Esq in his URL.


From: [email protected]
Subject: Barrister Williams Wong
Date: June 9, 2010 3:38:56 PM GMT-04:00
To: [email protected]
Reply-To: [email protected]

Good Day,

I am Barrister Williams Wong from Malaysia, an attorney at law. A deceased
client of mine, that shares the same last name with you, died as a result
of a heart-related condition on March 12th 2007 leaving behind a deposit
valued at $17.5 million dollars. His heart condition was due to the death
of all the members of his family in the tsunami disaster on the 26th
December 2004 in Sumatra Indonesia.Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
2004_Indian_Ocean_earthquake

I want you to assist in distributing the money left behind by my client
before it is confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank.The bank has
issued me a notice to contact the next of kin. My proposition to you is to
seek your consent to present you as the next-of-kin and beneficiary of my
named client. This will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that
will protect you from any breach of the law.

Best Regards,
Barrister Williams Wong


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

As long as it's legit, you're in!!!


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Macfury said:


> As long as it's legit, you're in!!!


Hey, he's an attorney at law. You can always trust attorneys at law. It's those attorneys at other stuff that you have to watch for.


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

I don't want to see William's Wong.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Kazak said:


> I don't want to see William's Wong.


No idea who this woman is, but she claims she knows William Wong.


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

But I thought William's always wight and never wong.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

I sent my information to this guy because he wants me to set up orphanages and stuff.



> Dear Beloved.
> 
> My names are Simon Looks I worked with Australia embassy for Fourteen years before I fell sick May 2009,during the process I lost my wife and my only son since then I have been on medical treatment after which it was confirmed by my doctor that I have cancer, I do not know if I am going to survive this illness, I want to donate the sum of(Ten Million seven hundred thousand United State Dollars)to a church or a Christian individual that will use these funds to fund orphanage homes help the needy and widows including reasonable business investment to keep the long time needs of the needy and to ensure the house of God is maintained.
> 
> ...


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I can see why he lost his wife and son, because he's sending all of his money overseas to widows and orphans instead of plying them with cash. Send him some information's and tell him that the deal is almost complete and all modalities are in place--he just needs to send you GBP100 to cover the application fee to build an orphanage in Saskatchewan.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

I'm thinking of keeping the money for myself. Both my parents are dead and so is my ex-husband, so I qualify as both a widow and an orphan. I hope he calls me soon because I could sure use the money


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

On second thought, I'm going to send Mr. Looks this link  Maybe they can pool their resources and bring about the much needed changes in the world.



> MORE NEWS FROM:
> 
> 
> STANDING LIGHT
> ...


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

You have to admire rock-solid logic like that.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

They won me over with the witch in England's Story of Robin Hood.


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Oh my!

I just got Nigerian spam by fax! How old school.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

How did I get so important that this gentleman is willing to share with me!

*highly personal classified information about my personal experience*



> Hello ,
> 
> My name is 2nd LT. Franklin Mademan, a member of the U.S. army Medical Team, which was deployed to Iraq at the beginning of the war in Iraq. I would like to share some highly personal classified information about my personal experience and role which I played in the pursuit of my career serving under the U.S 1st Armored which was at the fore-front of the war in Iraq.
> 
> ...


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Madman?


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## chrisburke (May 11, 2010)

Have you guys received the one yet where he says he's being held prisoner and being forced to send spam.. And if we just click his link they will release him?


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

chrisburke said:


> Have you guys received the one yet where he says he's being held prisoner and being forced to send spam.. And if we just click his link they will release him?


Forward this one please!


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## chrisburke (May 11, 2010)

Macfury said:


> Forward this one please!


I'll send it when I get home! It's awesome


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

chrisburke said:


> I'll send it when I get home! It's awesome


Do we need to click on a link to get you home?


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## chrisburke (May 11, 2010)

Kazak said:


> Do we need to click on a link to get you home?


Hah.. No.. I'm just driving right now and using my phone... It'll be a little easier to send when I'm not doing that!


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Well I sure feel sorry for this poor lady, her husband was a crook, now he's dead and left her in a terrible muddle. Do you think I should help her to just call the Republic of South Africa so they can get their money back? What if her political career comes crashing down? 

I don't know what to do.



> FROM MRS. SUSAN SHABANGU
> MINISTER OF MINING OF
> THE REPUBLIC OF SOUTH AFRICA
> 
> ...


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

From Wikipedia:

In April 2008 Shabangu, in her role as deputy minister of safety and security, told an audience of police officers to "kill the bastards", referring to criminals. The remark was widely reported and criticised.
In March 2003 Shabangu was charged with public indecency after an altercation with an airport security official in which she lifted her dress after repeatedly setting off a metal detector.

'Twould seem she needs to do a bit of work herself on "absolute confidentiality."


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Oh dear, I didn't realize she was a real person. I'm arranging for a flight to South Africa as we speak and I'll keep you posted as to how I've been able to assist her in her plight.


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## ScanMan (Sep 11, 2007)

I'm kind of creeped out by the Motherless babes thing. It's tough to visualize.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

ScanMan said:


> I'm kind of creeped out by the Motherless babes thing. It's tough to visualize.


I think they're in test tubes.


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

Eloping with a fund does sound like fun though. ....

Honest, Your Honor, I was going to make it an honest fund! In the meantime, I was merely managing it. Yep, that's it, managing it.


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## jlcinc (Dec 13, 2002)

Two new scams today. They look pretty good I might want a loan.

I am sending you this E-mail to notify you that Mr. James Adenuga is
currently offering Loan at a low interest rate of 3%,I give out Personal
Loans,Business Expansion Loans, Business Start-up Loans ,Education Loans,
Debt Consolidation Loans,Venture Capital,So if you are interested contact via
[email protected]

* Name Of Applicant:......
* Address: Of Applicant: .
* City: .............. ...
* State:..................
* Country: ...............
* Gender: ................
* Marital Status: ........
* Age:....................
* Occupation:.............
* Income Rate: ...........
* Tel:....................
* Mobile:.................
*Amount Needed.....
*Duration Time.............
*Time Return.............
* Loan Purpose............
* Zip: Code...........
Regard
James Adenuga Loans Firm



Good Day,

I am Mr.Abdulkader Maroof Omar a member of a strategic committee in a major
industry in Iraq, I seek your partnership because of an urgent need to move my
family out of Iraq due to the deteriorating security situation and the strong
prospect of a civil war,if the U.S. finally pulls out their troops.
it just based on partnership for me to leave iraq with my family To indicate
your
interest or request more details, please contact me by email:


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Hmmm. Does the James Adenuga Loans Firm offer direct deposit? That's a MUST to get my loans business.


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

jlcinc said:


> Good Day,
> 
> I am Mr.Abdulkader Maroof Omar


I need a loan for the hole in Maroof.


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## ScanMan (Sep 11, 2007)

How is this done? Got alerted to a "new" comment in the thread mentioned below. There's no new comment in the thread, and the alert is laced with spam. Wanted to forward this attachment to ehMax, but couldn't stick it in a PM. Perhaps he'll notice it here.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

ScanMan said:


> How is this done? Got alerted to a "new" comment in the thread mentioned below. There's no new comment in the thread, and the alert is laced with spam. Wanted to forward this attachment to ehMax, but couldn't stick it in a PM. Perhaps he'll notice it here.


I've noticed this too occasionally, I think the Mayor's minions were quick on the trigger and deleted the offending post before you clicked the link.

Margaret


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## ScanMan (Sep 11, 2007)

^^Ahhh!


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I continue to receive a piece of SPAM in which I'm offered a free food coupon to be used at Burger King--$50 off my next meal. I can't imagine how long I would need to be hospitalized to take full advantage of that offer.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I received an official notification that my e-mail address had won a prize of $2.5 million. The spammer had tagged on a confidentiality notice from a hospital or doctor's office:



> Confidentiality Notice/Notice to Patients:
> The information transmitted in this email is intended only for the
> person/entity to which it is addressed and may contain confidential and/or
> privileged material, including protected health information.
> ...


----------



## eMacMan (Nov 27, 2006)

If the FBI is on my side it must be legit.  Right????



> *Beware of 419 - Advanced fee fraud so you can receive your Draft or ATM Card
> Sunday, June 5, 2011 5:08 PM
> From: "Ministry of Finance (FMF)" <[email protected]>Add sender to Contacts
> To: undisclosed-recipients
> ...


----------



## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I think it's only fairs, as you've already suffered so at the hands of scammers.


----------



## cap10subtext (Oct 13, 2005)

> ATTN;
> 
> Compliment of the season.Sorry for contacting you via this medium, hence i would love to discuss a lucrative transaction with you, if interested, do kindly respond back to me for further details.
> 
> ...


Dear Zuofu,

Generic greeting to you as well. Please with this medium inform me of interesting. No one as sincerely as you could possibly be a scam artist.

Sincerely,

Cap10subtext


----------



## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I just received news that I am receiving an "award-winning prize." This is a prize so good, that it comes with its own award!


----------



## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Like a Tony Oscar, or a Grammy Emmy. It must be rewarding to be recognized for your efforts. Just remember the little people.


----------



## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Just received word of my next prize from the British Prime Minister:



> I am The Rt Hon David Cameron MP, Prime Minister, First Lord of the Treasury and Minister for the Civil Service British Government. This letter is to officially inform you that (MasterCard Number 5396 5501 7118 0883) has been accredited with your favor. Your Personal Identification Number is 3150. The MasterCard Value is £2,000,000.00 GBP (Two Million, Great British Pounds Sterling).
> 
> This office will send to you an MasterCard that you will use to withdraw your funds in any ATM MACHINE CENTER or MasterCard outlet in the world with a maximum of £5000 GBP daily. Further more, You will be required to re-confirm the following information to enable; The Rt Hon William Hague MP First Secretary of State for British Foreign & Commonwealth Office (FCO). begin in processing of your MasterCard.
> 
> ...


I would not want a hitch regarding this payment, so please keep this quiet.


----------



## GratuitousApplesauce (Jan 29, 2004)

I think I received my first email offer from Nigeria 10 or 11 years ago. I remember for a brief flickering second thinking "Could this be for real?" and then realizing that there was no way it could. But they keep sending out this stuff because out of the billions of emails, even with how well known this type of scam is, they occasionally get some sap to bite.

4 or 5 years ago, when this scam was already widely infamous, the father-in-law of someone I know got taken for $20,000. Even before he sent the money his family were telling him it was a scam, but he was reportedly quite an arrogant and pig-headed old fellow and insisted that they didn't know what they were talking about. After that some further communication happened where the scammers gave him some excuse and tried to get him to meet them in Toronto hoping to get even more from this sucker. Apparently he had planned to go but the family finally convinced him he had been conned before he got a plane ticket. I didn't hear how the aftermath went. Either these guys were particularly smooth or this old guy was particularly gullible and/or easily blinded by greed.


----------



## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I like this one:



> Re:ARE YOU DEAD?
> 
> From:
> "Mrs.Farida Waziri"
> ...


----------



## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

Dear Mrs. Waziri,

Re: ARE YOU DEAD?

Yes.
Please consult Ouija board or Medium for the details you seek.


----------



## mrjimmy (Nov 8, 2003)

> Is this item still available for sale ?Let me know your best offer
> > >> asap....And please if you know you are a scam artist do not respond to
> > >> this message.
> > >> Regards...
> > >>


Hmm, _am I_ the scam artist. Well of course I immediately I trusted him.



> Thanks for your swift response I live at Apt 1028 Bloor St W Toronto,
> > ON M6H 1M2, I'm really interested in buying this item, I would have
> > love to meet you and pay with cash or do the shipping myself to know
> > the present condition on this item but presently am out of state for a
> ...


Wow, an address! I wonder what poor fool lives there. I'm sure someone this clever little person has scammed in the past.

Out of State you say? Nothing odd about that.

Over three times my asking price! Well that plays nicely to my greed gene.

West Africa you say? Lots of trustworthy folks there.

Paypal? Even though I explicitly said local only, at three times the price what could go wrong!

I'm sad to think that people still fall for these shenanigans.


----------



## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Perhaps you can score some points with his Co-Worker wife.


----------



## mrjimmy (Nov 8, 2003)

Macfury said:


> Perhaps you can score some points with his Co-Worker wife.


Co-Worker wife/ student. A true renaissance gal.


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## mrjimmy (Nov 8, 2003)

Wow, my ad on Craigslist is getting a lot of action today!



> hi mate i actually want to know if this item is still in good
> > >> condition and its final price emailed to my box thanks if you must
> > >> know...


Ah I see he is calling me 'mate'. Either he is a naval officer or a Brit. Both of whom are trustworthy to the max!

'If I must know?' Must be something lost in translation there.

So I sez:



> > > It is in excellent shape. The 'items' final price is $100.00.
> > >
> > > Local Toronto pickup only. No exceptions.
> > >
> > > Still interested?


Fairly straightforward, right?

His response:



> > Thanks for being trust worthy.I need it as a B-Gift for friend son
> > schooling Abroad.if you can assure me that it's in good working
> > condition I'm willing to offer you $350 for it including shipping cost
> > to his hostel Address Via USPS Priority Mail as you assured me that
> ...


Well, if it's for friend son... _way to go pulling on my heart strings there...._


----------



## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Gonna be one unhappy kid if you don't deliver.


----------



## mrjimmy (Nov 8, 2003)

Macfury said:


> Gonna be one unhappy kid if you don't deliver.


Persistent little so and so:



> OMG !! HOH ....... I understand how you feel i promise if you can help
> me i will pay for the shipping including the item fees and any order
> charges and that is why i said we should use paypal for the payment
> cos paypal is save and secure for both sellers and buyers online
> ...


My response (I was tiring of him):



> I have reported your email address. You are a scammer. **** off and do not
> > respond again. I'm bored with you now.


He just doesn't quit!



> WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT **** YOUR SELF..........


With indignation like that, he must be legit!

Ooh, it's getting racy!



> stop contact me agin okay **** your mother **** your self........GO
> AWAY MOTHER ****ER...........


Have I beaten him down?



> HEY WHY ARE TO LAZY LIKE THIS GO AND IF WORK TO DO PLS AND PLS STOP
> CONTACT ME AGAIN OKAY........
> 
> 
> PLS JUST FORGIVE ME STOP MAIL ME AGAIN..........


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

No wonder he's angry--you're wasting his time while he's working!


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## CanadaRAM (Jul 24, 2005)

*It has been stunned the English, and it the laugh will make you*

It has been stunned the English, and it the laugh will make you:

"Season of holidays number! Author's clothes, a smart watch and prestigious footwear. It has been stunned, when she saw, that diamond inlaid Rollie, wrapped up round my wrist - and it the bankrupt will not make you "


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

CanadaRAM said:


> - and it the bankrupt will not make you


Yoda Spam!


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Now if this doesn't pull at your heartstrings for this poor girl...



> From: [email protected]
> Subject: INVESTMENT BUSINESS ASSISTANCE
> Reply-To: [email protected]
> 
> ...


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Para bailar la bamba,
Para bailar la bamba,
Se necessita una poca de gracia.
Una poca de gracia para mi para ti.
Arriba y arriba
Y arriba y arriba, por ti sere,
Por ti sere,
Por ti sere.


----------



## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I prefer _Banba Jet_, by El Bamba.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Stop wasting your time. Follow the advice of this US citizen who travelled to Nigeria and confronted the authorities. Seems like the folks who've been contacting us aren't the ones who have our money.

Maybe we could all charter a plane.....



> From: SUSAN DERRICK
> Date: Saturday, July 9, 2011
> Subject: Attn:- Beneficiary,
> To:
> ...


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Have I mentioned that I need to get a life. Ten o'clock on Saturday night and the only entertaining thing I can think of to do is dig through my spam folder


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Margaret, you are not alone. It's 11:00 and I just went and checked my spam files too.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Hey! Who got all my SPAM?


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Yep, I'm going to deal with a guy named Joakin. Where do I sign?


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Kazak said:


> Yep, I'm going to deal with a guy named Joakin. Where do I sign?


You don't sign. That's the beauty. You just pay your $490 and you can be done with all of this fooling around. Someone's been sending you SPAM? Time for you to be compensated! Nigeria is moving forward by putting those scammers out of business. How can they compete with real-payments?


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

SINC said:


> Margaret, you are not alone. It's 11:00 and I just went and checked my spam files too.


The amazing thing is that at our age we know what a spam file is and even more amazing that we're still awake at that hour.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

> Hello,i'd like to place a classified advertisment in your newspaper and i want the ad placed onprint and online,go through my ad text below;
> 
> HONDA 1988 GL1500 MOTORBIKE FOR FREE.. IF INTERESTED CONTACT; [email protected]
> 
> ...


Don't know whether to take the free motorbike or the money for his ad!


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## johnb1 (Aug 6, 2006)

I dunno- MacFury, I'm thinking something's fishy..not necessarily the sardines in tomato sauce I had last night. Even I got the Nigerian DooDah. Some cat wanting to Buy a set of speakers I advertised on Kijiji Edmonton, and could I provide my PayPal info? No? How about my banking info, and he'd wire the money directly into my account--
SORRY- I don't have PayPal-cash, money order or bank draft only, and delivery isn't included. Well, after that, Mr. Paypal was gone, so I"m guessing it was a scam, but c'mon, Kijiji Edmonton? Couldn't you try for a better target?

Oh well- the only Spam I like comes in cans, and only once in while

John B


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

johnb1 said:


> ...but c'mon, Kijiji Edmonton? Couldn't you try for a better target?


They're an equal-opportunity concern.



johnb1 said:


> Oh well- the only Spam I like comes in cans, and only once in while.


As cold luncheon meat, or fried in thick, salty slices?


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Macfury said:


> As cold luncheon meat, or fried in thick, salty slices?


I was about 15 before I learned that fried Spam wasn't the same as steak


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

winwintoo said:


> I was about 15 before I learned that fried Spam wasn't the same as steak


Gee, you were lucky Margaret. You got Spam! We got Klik.


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## mrjimmy (Nov 8, 2003)

SINC said:


> Gee, you were lucky Margaret. You got Spam! We got Klik.


That, some white bread, Velveeta and mustard and you have a fine lunch there!


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

SINC said:


> Gee, you were lucky Margaret. You got Spam! We got Klik.


Once a month, we ate fried slabs. Sometimes cubed and added to fried rice with onions--Spam, Kam and Klik--but never Spork. I used to eat the jelly it was packed in.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Hmmmm, couple of slabs of Spam, Kraft Dinner and canned beans in tomato sauce with a crusty loaf of fresh French bread and butter. Heaven.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

SINC said:


> Hmmmm, couple of slabs of Spam, Kraft Dinner and canned beans in tomato sauce with a crusty loaf of fresh French bread. Heaven.


Just reserve that lardy little glob of "pork" for me.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Macfury said:


> Just reserve that lardy little glob of "pork" for me.


Sorry, that got eaten on the way out of the can.


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Macfury said:


> Just reserve that lardy little glob of "pork" for me.





SINC said:


> Sorry, that got eaten on the way out of the can.


No no no. I would only eat it if someone else dealt with the, you know. [shudder]


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Just received a letter from Engineer Lucky Robert. The pitch here is that he has mistaken me for someone who has assisted him already. I am the second in line to receive a present for assisting him in establishing a business in Korea. He wanted me to respond to someone at a website called "trademafia.com." Honesty prevailed, however. I was forced to admit that I did not deserve the cash.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Received an e-mail from the FBI notifying me of a prize. It was signed:



> Mr. Robert Mueller
> Federal Bureau of Investigation F B I
> Yours in Service, *Photograph of Director*


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

In case there is someone here more noble than me...



> From. Mrs: Caroline Thaiday
> Beloved,
> Compliments of the day to you. By this e-mail, I do sincerely apologize for my intrusion of your privacy. However, I have a serious concern with which I believe you might be of help and for this reason, I can not but reach out to someone. My name as given above is Mrs. Caroline Thaiday, I am married to Mr. Edward Thaiday, who worked with the embassy in ABIDJAN IVORY COAST for nine years before he died in the plane crash On 31st of July 2000 with other passengers aboard.
> We were a dedicated Christians and decided to serve mankind to the best of our ability.Since his death, I have lived with the memories, fighting effortlessly to lead a normal life but all to no avail. I suffered mentally and psychologically and shortly was diagnosed of Cancer. I lived with the scourge praying earnestly for divine intervention. Just a month ago, the doctor informed me that I have just about three months more to live. I was not shocked, I accepted the news in good fate.
> ...


In Truthfulness, Honesty and Sincerity, I *cannot* assure her that I can in all honesty and obedience utilize the funds for the purpose with which it is meant. I would buy shoes and hats and a couple of nice coats and maybe an apartment building or two.

But if there is someone out there of a more charitable bent....


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

"widows propagating" ?
"with a substance" ?

You could give the money to me since I am a widow, but I hope my propagating days are behind me.

I gave up substances a long time ago too. They had less appeal when I transitioned into widowhood.

my mail isn't nearly as entertaining since I use gmail. I haven't received a scam letter for a long time.

I did get the "this Microsoft calling, we've detected a virus on your computer phone call" and a friend had the computer repair person she called tell her that her computer had a serious virus and he'd need to take it to the shop. I wanted to explain that "virus" was code for "I have know idea what's wrong but I don't want you to see me sitting here scrathing my head". He was pretty honest though and didn't charge as much as she was willing to pay.

Margaret


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Ms. Thaiday got a lot of sympathy from me after I read how she has been "fighting effortlessly to lead a normal life." I just want to help people like that.

Can't blame her for wanting to give her money to a stranger, though. If the people she knows can "clamber" around her in her hospital bed, and still be unaware of her plight, they don't deserve the money. Do they think she's there for the food?


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

winwintoo said:


> my mail isn't nearly as entertaining since I use gmail. I haven't received a scam letter for a long time.


I go hunting in my gmail spam folder for this stuff.


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## cap10subtext (Oct 13, 2005)

Macfury said:


> Received an e-mail from the FBI notifying me of a prize. It was signed:


Hey apparently his grandson is also director of the FBI. What a coinkydink! Apparently the Monitory crime division is responsible for monitoring the monitaries?


Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc
Customers Service Hours / Monday To Saturday
Office Hours Monday to Saturday:



Attn: Beneficiary,

I am Mr. Ron Mills, the personal secretary to the FBI Director; Robert S. Mueller III. Investigations revealed that you have spent a lot on your personal earned money obtaining transfer documents as requested by Imposters, costing you a lot of money, yet all efforts to receive your overdue payment have been to no avail.

With the help of some of the best Internet investigators attached to the FBI, we have taken out time in screening through this project as stipulated on our protocol of operation and in addition, we sent special financial crime investigators from Washington DC to Africa in other to carry out proper investigations after receiving series of reports similar to yours as you are not the only person awaiting the legal transfer of funds from Africa.

Based on the findings of our special financial crime investigators, we discovered that your impending payment is being delayed by Imposters, claiming to be Mr. Lamido Sanusi (The New Governor of the Central bank of Nigeria), Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr. Frank Nweke, None existing officials of Oceanic Bank of Nigeria, Zenith Bank, UK winning Lottery, Andy Lear of Hsbc bank, Coca-Cola winning lottery and Mr Abdoulie Janneh (UNECA) among a list of others. With the help of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and the Local Police Force these Impostors have been arrested and necessary legal actions will be taken to bring them to book.

In our bid to transparency, I am pleased to inform you that a meeting was held as regards the best way to affect the compensation exercise for transparency and most especially to avoid reoccurrence of the delay in payment. In conclusion, we came to a final resolution as all the Financial Institutions involved was duly represented. It might interest you to note that MasterCard International have hence been empowered to assist the Federal Ministry of Finance and all the financial institutions involved; such as the Central Bank, Zenith Bank, and Legit lottery organizations to immediately commence with the compensation of all the beneficiaries awaiting the successful transfer of their funds.

The first Batch of payment; Four million, five hundred thousand United States dollars ($4,500,000.00), Credited to MasterCard Account No. 5148 6547 8940 **** with serial Numbers: 2419*** and Reg. No. MCIMJ: 5148/4172 was approved to be issued to you as a valid international ATM MasterCard accepted in more than a million ATM's, over 210 countries around the World, with a daily withdrawal Limit of Ten thousand United States Dollars. $10,000.00.

Now your payment will be sent to you by ATM card that will be coming alongside a custom pin which you will use to withdraw up to $10,000 per day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it. Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your bank account, because the ATM card will be registered with Interswitch. The ATM card comes with a handbook or manual to enlighten on how to use it.Your ATM card would be sent to you via DHL,because we have signed a contract with DHL which should expire by September 30th 2011

Reconfirm your delivery information as stated below for the delivery;

FULL NAME (This name would appear on your MasterCard):
DELIVERY ADDRESS:
CELLPHONE NUMBER:
OCCUPATION:

NOTE: Under normal circumstances, all beneficiaries are mandated to travel over to Africa Regional office with valid identification's to sign the release documents in person However, the Finance Ministry insists on you securing a non Appearance Approval Letter so as to Cut-short Traveling expenses and stress of traveling over to Africa. The non appearance approval slip attracts a fee of $180.00 only.

Having said all this, we implore you to expedite immediate action in sending the $180.00 via Western Union Money Transfer. We hope that this is very clear. All modalities for the delivery have been employed already.

A receipt to this effect will be sent to you upon confirmation of the $180.00 fee and the Courier Company will be contacting you too with the Parcel Delivery Information which will include the Package Tracking Numbers to enable you track the MasterCard online till it gets to your nominated address.

CONTACT INFO'S FOR NON APPEARANCE APPROVAL LETTER.

NAME: Mr. Alex Martin
EMAIL: [email protected]
PHONE: +234-708 222 8049.

We also advise that you stop further communications with these imposters and forward any correspondence/proposal you receive from them to email address of ([email protected]/[email protected]) in other for the FBI to bring justice to does still at large.

Mr. Ron Mills.
For: Mr. Robert S. Mueller III
FBI DIRECTOR.


----------



## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Nevermore shall I summon the children with "Dinner's ready." Henceforth, it shall be "All modalities for meal preparation have been employed already."


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Kazak said:


> Nevermore shall I summon the children with "Dinner's ready." Henceforth, it shall be "All modalities for meal preparation have been employed already."


I never respond to these messages until all modalities are in place. Takes the guesswork out of the transaction.


----------



## cap10subtext (Oct 13, 2005)

Kazak said:


> Nevermore shall I summon the children with "Dinner's ready." Henceforth, it shall be "All modalities for meal preparation have been employed already."


Love it.


----------



## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

This is certainly the crappiest SPAM offer yet. There are some Russians who will pay me twice those wages.




> Hello,
> Hope you're having a pleasant day,
> I'm Bill Spencer, 54yrs, and a father of 2 wonderful kids, a successful entrepreneur and investor, a member of the Angel Investment Networt in Canada,USA and United Kingdom to various welfare and community service programs, I'm also a research journalist with the ENEPRI and I travel every now and then within and outside the US working on various independent projects, this is why I need someone who can help keep up to date with all of my activities especially when I'm away and amidst my busy schedule.
> I have had a previous PA who has been very commendable in her activities and who has been part of my life for the past 6 months, she has since moved on with her personal life and it has affected me in a way. I found her previously on the *****slist website and I sincerely hope I will be able to find someone again who will be as efficient as she has been.
> ...


----------



## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Yep, unless you're lucky enough to live in the same city as Bill's office, you're going to spend way more than $450 a week "running personal errands," "dealing with incoming . . . post," and "making regular . . . drop-offs."


----------



## eMacMan (Nov 27, 2006)

This one might have been a bit more convincing except...



> Attention,
> The Federal Government is working to ensure its programs perform well to improve our Financial performance for the new year 2012. It has come to our attention that your Canadian Social Insurance Number or (SIN), Social Security Number (SSN), Taxpayer Identification Numbers (TIN) or Employer identification numbers (EINs) Information records are out of date. That requires you to verify the Information. Failure to verify your records will result in Retirement, Disability,Medicare,SSI,IRS, survivors, family or companies benefits and so much more account suspension. CLICK HERE to verify your Information.
> Best Regards
> *Franklin D. Roosevelt (President)*
> ...


----------



## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Roosevelt was behind the faked moon landings.


----------



## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Kazak said:


> Roosevelt was behind the faked moon landings.


----------



## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

All true. I have pictures, plus instructions to give the (understandably valuable) negatives and $10,000 to you, if you will give me your banking information.


----------



## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Kazak said:


> All true. I have pictures, plus instructions to give the (understandably valuable) negatives and $10,000 to you, if you will give me your banking information.


I know your kind. Get involved in the deal and suddenly I find that all modalities are _not_ in place.


----------



## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Those darn modalities just won't stay put.


----------



## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

Have no fear Mr. Kazak and Mr. Macfury,

I am an expert trainer of modalities. I am known as The Modalities Whisperer®.

Please ship me any and all* of your untrained modalities and within one week I will return them, fully trained and ready to do your every bidding, flawlessly. 

I will just need a bit of information from each of you including a few minor details regarding your banking arrangements. All information provided will, of course, be kept completely secure. There's a Money Back guarantee, or my name's not The Modalities Whispere®. 

The "Mod Squadron" training sessions are quickly being snapped up. Reserve TODAY or risk missing out on this unique opportunity. 

Hurry! DON'T WAIT to get all those pesky modalities in order. 

Sincerely, 
The Mod Squidron Supreme Leader
(a.k.a The Modalities Whispere®)
*Training sessions involving more than 5 untrained Modalities at a time may incur an extra shipping and handling fee.


----------



## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Sqam!


----------



## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Kazak said:


> Sqam!


Sqam? Is that squashed Spam???


----------



## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

It's not Nigerian, but it is a new twist. This arrived in my mail box with the subject line, "Next Of Kin".



> Compliments of the day,
> 
> I am the Director of Operations in one of the Financial Institutions here
> in the United Kingdom. I urge you to note that the contents of this email
> ...


----------



## MazterCBlazter (Sep 13, 2008)

.


----------



## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

I think Mr. Duke has some workplace ethics to consider, especially as someone who "will not compromise loyalty." His "guatantee" may not be worth anything, superfluous exclamation points notwithstanding.


----------



## RobotGuy (Feb 28, 2010)

Here's one I recently received:

ATTENTION: EMAIL OWNER (nice, eh? That really adds a personal touch now doesn't it?),

We are pleased to notify you once again that your email
address won the Euro Millions International Lottery
Promotion held for the Month of December 2012, You have
therefore been approved to claim the sum of
ﾃつ｣1,000,000.00.GBP (One Million Great British Pounds) We
are yet to receive your file for Claims.For Due
remittance of funds Contact Claims Agent for your
claims with Ticket No:8603775966738
.
Claims Officer contact information listed below:

***************************************
Claims Agent Name: Mr.James Richard
***************************************
Claims Requirements:

1.Full Name:
2.Residential Address:
3.Age: 
4.Sex:
5.Mobil Tel:
6.Occupation:
7.Country Of Residence:
8.Nationality:
9.Amount Won:
10.Alternative Email :

Sorry if you received this letter in your spam,Due to
recent connection error here in England.sorry for the
inconvenience. Congratulations on behalf of British
Government Financial 
Department.

Congratulations!!
Mrs.Elizabeth James


----------



## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

After you collect, RG, don't forget the little people.


----------



## RobotGuy (Feb 28, 2010)

Only as long as they don't mind getting payed with smiles:lmao:


----------



## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Just got one of those calls from "Microsoft" explaining that my computer is riddled with viruses. When I explained that I owned no Microsoft products whatsoever, the guy let loose with a string of vulgarities and threats that singed my ears. I guess he was really keen on fixing my computer for free.


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## CubaMark (Feb 16, 2001)

A friend of mine just asked whether it was safe to open a file sent to him from "Revenue Canada" about a refund he apparently was to receive.

It continues to amaze me how so many people are unable to do even a little bit of examination to detect potentially fraudulent / phishing emails. The return address was a professor's email at Dalhousie university. The attached html file was easy to open and examine, revealing the non-CRA website linked within.

More people than ever before are on the internet... and ever more people are completely clueless as to how to "surf safely".


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

CubaMark said:


> More people than ever before are on the internet... and ever more people are completely clueless as to how to "surf safely".


It's amazing. I've had people who've been online for well over a decade ask me whether they should respond to this sort of stuff. The Nigerian spammers keep going because their efforts are clearly lucrative enough to continue suckering people.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Every conversation (or so it seems) that I have with neighbors involves a complaint about a scam phone call. I tell them not to answer the phone if they don't recognize the number, but they answer and then feel violated because the caller insists that their computer is in need of attention. Most don't own a computer, but still they worry.


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## eMacMan (Nov 27, 2006)

Couple of quick giveaways on this one. First was that the "To:" box had about a hundred entries. Then there was the "Dear Customer," bit.....



> Dear Customer,
> 
> Thank you for shopping at Apple Store.
> Herewith we are informing you that your Order Number: W268905423 has been successfully charged to your credit card for 4,200.10 USD.
> ...


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

The standards for entering the Nigerian Scam trade are really dropping. No country listed. No tantalizing inheritance tallies. This gets a D Grade. See me after class.



> In tears...pls show some care!
> My name is Kevin Watson, aged 17yrs & the only son of Mr. Davies Watson. Before My father passed away he told me to contact you if anything happened to him that you will help me, so i wanted to know please if you are the friend of my father? I have inheritance from my late father which i desire your assistance in receiving the inheritance in your country for investment while i come over to further my education and begin a new life, I will be glad to give you fifteen percent of the total inheritance for your assistance.
> 
> Truly i do hope you are going to honestly accept to help me considering my situation and security, couple with an uncontrollable crisis around the country as you must have heard over the news, my life is no more protected here. I confided on your assistance and write with every respect due to your good person and ask that you assist me to get the inheritance on my behalf as my late father's foreign associate to your country for investme! nt. Please if you are willing to assist me, indicate your acceptance by sending me your full name, address and direct telephone contact so that I can give you a detailed explanation on the inheritance.
> Thanks in anticipation. Kevin


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

The standard continues to drop:

This was sent to me from the International Police Association:



> FROM INTERNATIONAL POLICE ASSOCIATION UNITED STATES SECTION ( I.P. A ).
> Region No. 2 New York City
> P.O. Box 804 Knickerbockers Station
> New York City, New -York 10002-0804 U.S.A.


But signed by a Doctor of Dental Surgery:



> Yours Truly,
> 
> I.P.A REGION NO: 2 THANKS.
> DOCTOR DOUGLAS H. KING DDS.


 It's the typical scam involving money that is supposedly being held by the police after being confiscated from a foreign diplomat. The wrinkle here is that either I (easily) prove the money is mine or get charged with a crime:



> Furthermore, we are giving you only but 5 working business days to forward the requested Certificates. Please note that we shall get back to you after the 5 working business days, if_ you didnt come up with the certificate we shall confiscate the funds into World Bank account then charge you for money laundry_, but if you forward those Certificate's then we will release the diplomat with your parcel box and also gives you every back up till the money arrives your doorstep.





> Thanks for your understanding.


No... thank YOU.


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Release the Diplomat!


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

It isn't Nigerian, but it's IS new and improved. Flying sunburned penguins at the North Pole! LOL!




> My name is Stoke Stephen and I work with the Bald Puffalope Penguins in the Phallopian area of the North Pole.
> 
> With the on coming events of Climate Change the bald penguins are suffering in huge numbers from Sunburn. Our aim to provide each penguin with a special protective suit called a Stample.
> 
> ...


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## Max (Sep 26, 2002)

That is a most excellent and unusual plea for money, Sinc. Consider yourself very fortunate.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Hilarious--there are no penguins at the North Pole! Probably because mugs like you failed to donate money to save them.


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## chuckster (Nov 30, 2003)

Those poor penguins. As soon as I get my 4.5 million from the International Monetary Fund I'm going to send some their way. Wait a minute. "Affect their ability to fly...". I thought that penguins couldn't fly.


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

Gasp....choke.... and, now..._now_ we know _why _penguins can't fly.... sob....blubber, etc.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I just received a message that my Facebook account had been canceled by my request, but if I contact the nice people at Facemail.com with my account info, they will set things right.


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

Facemail.com.... Tsk.

Must be yet another body language site, along with Footnote.com and Buttdial.ca


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Don't forget Reproductive.org and Sniffthe.gov


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Why 'Nigerian scammers' say they're from Nigeria - Nigerian scam, security - Computerworld


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## cap10subtext (Oct 13, 2005)

Sonal said:


> Why 'Nigerian scammers' say they're from Nigeria - Nigerian scam, security - Computerworld


The attached research paper is a more interesting read. But I'll admit, that finally explained something I always wondered about.

"You'd have to be the most gullible person (read: subset) on the planet to fall for that." And that's the point! Maximized efficiency in classification systems.


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## cap10subtext (Oct 13, 2005)

I see they've started taking the direct approach...



> From: ROBERT S. MUELLER III, FBI DIRECTOR <[email protected]>
> Subject: [Bulk] FINAL WARNING: YOU WILL BE ARRESTED AND JAILED IF YOU FAIL TO READ THE ATTACHED E-MAIL AND COMPLY
> Date: 3 July, 2012 9:45:30 AM EDT


Nice of them to send my warrant_of_arrest.txt in a plain text attachment from an unidentified aol account. Those budget cuts in the states must be getting worse all the time. :lmao::lmao::lmao:


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

cap10subtext said:


> Nice of them to send my warrant_of_arrest.txt in a plain text attachment from an unidentified aol account. Those budget cuts in the states must be getting worse all the time. :lmao::lmao::lmao:


Saves the price of a postage stamp. I hear that there's a recent rash of incidents in which citizens are refusing large sums of money.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

But but but how do I contact the good doctor? Please help me find him.....


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Here's a great offer from Dr.Baimba Armah, financial secretary and International co-ordinator of TASUMA VILLAGE GOLD MINERS in MALI West Africa . 



> Before I proceed further I will not fail to explain that I got your contact through internet directory and felt that you might be a straight forward fellow and reliable to do business with in areas of investment and financial partnering.
> 
> *I searched online and read about your country and I fell in LOVE with the King of Thailand.* Your king is a great man and very nice .
> I have decided and make up plans to travel to Thailand for investment purposes .


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Happens to me all the time, too, and I'm not even royalty. Ah, the crosses we bear.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Kazak said:


> Happens to me all the time, too, and I'm not even royalty. Ah, the crosses we bear.


Who is the latest King with whom you have fallen in love?


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## Aurora (Sep 25, 2001)

Burger


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Elvis.


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Macfury said:


> Who is the latest King with whom you have fallen in love?


I meant people are always falling in love with me (and I'm not even royalty).


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Kazak said:


> I meant people are always falling in love with me (and I'm not even royalty).


You're not even Elvis!


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

I'm not even Burger.


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

Is that better than chopped liver?


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## Aurora (Sep 25, 2001)

Oy Veh


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Just received an offer to receive funds from Mrs. Ulrike Stockfleth--best new name in a long time.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

But now comes a disappointing offering. It's entitled simply: "Western Union Nigeria"

There's no love of language anymore.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

New great name: Dr.KoFFI WANNA.


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

And his sister Mary.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

My latest arrived from Judy Rudebusch and that's all I have to say about that!


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## eMacMan (Nov 27, 2006)

*How about an Invisible Watch?*

Already have one of these. Been wearing it ever since I retired. It is the only watch I have ever owned that I have not either broken or lost. Plus there is no white band on the wrist when I take it off.



> Your benefits are: saved time money, gained respect for the good presents and sense of taste.
> Genuine luxury watches cost a fortune, cheap fakes you will find on the streets are of low quality. _*We offer you truly undetectable watches*_ which look classy and professional. You will definitely find the watch to your taste from our list of brands.


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Oh not me. I took off my invisible watch once, and now I can't find it anywhere.


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## eMacMan (Nov 27, 2006)

Yes that can be a problem. One has to remember exactly where they lay it down. Move it even a millimetre and it is gone forever.


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## johnp (Aug 7, 2011)

I once had an invisible fish -- lost it when I changed the water.


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

I lost my mind, and I'd never seen it.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Kazak said:


> I lost my mind, and I'd never seen it.


Well, you'd better let him out before he suffocates!

(Or is that another joke?)


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Macfury said:


> Well, you'd better let him out before he suffocates!
> 
> (Or is that another joke?)


In a weird way, I think it works.


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

I really hate to disappoint the girl, but she's not my type....



> From: Katya S.
> Subject: You've said that is not married
> 
> Hello my name is Katya I am from small city in the center of Russia.
> ...


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

I keep getting email from these very helpful people who assure me they have my best interests at heart. I wasn't aware that my Internet provider had farmed out technical support to a prison in Malaysia.

Should I be worried?


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## fjnmusic (Oct 29, 2006)

Only when the nice gentlemen in Malaysia finish serving their time.


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## eMacMan (Nov 27, 2006)

With Malaysia having come to the fore, may I present:

I am afraid I must violate his request for anonymity. Although I am sure he is sincere in whatever knavery he has cooking.



> Dear Austin's Relative,
> 
> In or about Oct. 2008, a client of mine made some fixed deposit with a Malaysian Bank. Unfortunately, Mr. Austin died after a brief illness as an effect of heart failure (Cardiac Arrest) on the 14th January 2009. I humbly apologize for the means through which you are been contacted in this respect. My name is Azmi Bin Tan Sri Dr Moh Rais, a legal representative to the deceased. Mr. Austin who hereinafter shall be referred as my client died leaving the said deposit unclaimed.
> 
> ...


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

At least he's a real person.
Man, that's a lot of names, even if they're all short.


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## eMacMan (Nov 27, 2006)

Kazak said:


> At least he's a real person.
> Man, that's a lot of names, even if they're all short.


Hmmm, given his profession and ethical reasoning perhaps he is a member of the Malaysian Royalty?


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Kazak said:


> At least he's a real person.
> Man, that's a lot of names, even if they're all short.


I wonder if he knows that he's been writing these letters?


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

*They're asking me to call back?*

Got this email yesterday. It looks like a ligit Saskatchewan number. So I called it. It answered with the standard "we have......" recording.

Then this morning got a call from "Microsoft". They haven't called me for a long time. I strung him along for awhile, and when it quit being fun, I told him I didn't have a computer. He got upset and asked me why I was wasting his time.

The sad thing is that I probably was wasting his time. He might be among the "we created x number of jobs brigade".


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Anagrams of Raymond Fraser include

Señor Farmyard
Randy Forearms
My fond arrears


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## macintosh doctor (Mar 23, 2009)

i get many calls from various numbers.. too many to fill out in to my script of the 'forward to pizza joints' so now they call and i say people hold and hang up..
they keep calling backing saying the line disconnected.. i apologize and do it again LOL


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I can't count the number of times I've been accused by these scamming clowns of "wasting my time." I may have posted here that one of them called back 15 times after getting rebuffed. Another threatened to rape family members.


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

This appeared on another board that I frequent. It's a fairly new board about an iPad drawing app (Procreate) and there is never any controversy since (almost) everyone there is a professional artist. I think they let me stay because I was there before the app caught the attention of the pros.

Anyway, every so often they get hit with spam but this one takes the cake. Notice that, in his words he's a "Top Los Angeles Web Designer."


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Somewhere, dozens of rivers are weeping, having been out-meandered.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

It's like it robbed me of all my vital energies in just under three minutes.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

I love it--Facebook only uses e-mail addresses with Yahoo domains!



> CONGRATULATIONS ONCE AGAIN FROM FACE BOOK!!!!
> 
> From:
> MR MARK ZUCKERBERG CEO FACEBOOK TEAM <[email protected]>
> ...


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Better hurry. You have to claim you prize by August 30 but the draw isn't made until September 1!


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## eMacMan (Nov 27, 2006)

Since this is addressed to undisclosed recipients, it must have landed in my box by mistake.

Any of you who feels your name fills the bill feel free (probably not free) to reply.



> THE WORLD BANK, OFFICE OF THE SPECIAL
> REPRESENTATIVE TO THE UNITED NATIONS.
> 1 DAG HAMMARSKJOLD PLAZA
> 885 2ND AVENUE, 26TH FLOOR
> ...


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Nigeria has offered to reward struggling North Americans out of their surplus bounty!


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

I joined a forum a couple of months ago and I finally got a response! It's my good fortune to have been spotted by this guy:



> FRANK KWABENA added a comment to your profile on Grace in Small Things
> 
> ------------
> Good Day,
> ...


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Is this a new way to phish?

The past few days, I've been getting emails that look like a blog or store updates. I didn't sign up, so I decided to pick through the fine print and find a way to unsubscribe. Usually you need a magnifying glass to find the "unsubscribe" link.

In this email, the unsubscribe link is right there, bold as brass and I got to wondering if this is another way for the bad guys to get access to our identities.

Maybe it's a new business opportunity. Blast out emails using names from their already overused phone directories @ the popular email sites like gmail, yahoo etc. 

I know lots of people that panic if they get an email from an unknown sender and they frantically search for a way to block any further messages. Then when they click the unsubscribe link, they get "unsubscribed" and won't get any further emails, but the bad guys now have another valid email address to add to their list.

Googling for the part before the @ will reveal a lot about you that can be used in identity theft, or using your address to blast out more phishing emails.

I can ignore these emails, but lots of people won't or can't ignore them.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Me too. Usually US pharmacy loyalty programs. Funny thing is that I actually do belong to one of them, so it was less suspicious to me. I suspect you're right--they're trying to get you to unsubscribe so that your e-mail address is known to be "live."



winwintoo said:


> Is this a new way to phish?
> 
> The past few days, I've been getting emails that look like a blog or store updates. I didn't sign up, so I decided to pick through the fine print and find a way to unsubscribe. Usually you need a magnifying glass to find the "unsubscribe" link.
> 
> ...


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## eMacMan (Nov 27, 2006)

So many red flags including being addressed via BCC



> FOREIGN TRANSFER DEPARTMENT
> UNITED STATES FEDERAL RESERVE
> 2013/2015 FRAUD VICTIMS REF/PAYMENTS CODE: FRB/00546
> Date:- 18/12/2015
> ...


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## gwillikers (Jun 19, 2003)

eMacMan said:


> So many red flags including being addressed via BCC


And the finance director of the Federal Reserve would use Gmail! :lmao::lmao::lmao:


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

gwillikers said:


> And the finance director of the Federal Reserve would use Gmail! :lmao::lmao::lmao:


An he ain't the finance director, either!


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

This guy had some fun with them

This Man Decided To Reply To Spam Emails. At 6:18 My Mind Was Blown. Hilarious! - DavidWolfe.com


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

HI, winwin! How are you keeping?


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

Macfury said:


> HI, winwin! How are you keeping?


I'm doing really well. Retirement seems to suit me! I think about you guys often.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

winwintoo said:


> I'm doing really well. Retirement seems to suit me! I think about you guys often.


That's great! Was thinking about you yesterday when someone mentioned Saskatoon berries.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Thanks for that link, Margaret, it was hilarious. Glad to hear you are having a good time in retirement.


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## eMacMan (Nov 27, 2006)

Been around awhile. The reason it works is that the CRA has been known to use bullying tactics on more than a few occasions. Given the reputation the IRS has, I am betting this scam is very successful stateside. That said you would have to be thick enough to believe that either Trump or Hillary are presidential material, to fall for the iTunes card bit.

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/phone-scamming-fraudsters-posing-cra-213335577.html



> The Royal Newfoundland Constabulary is warning the public that a phone scam from fraudsters claiming to be police officers or investigators with the Canada Revenue Agency is picking up steam.
> 
> They received hundreds of calls on Thursday afternoon alone.
> 
> ...


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## winwintoo (Nov 9, 2004)

I just got a call from CRA, it was a recording, but it sounded really serious, like I'm in BIG trouble 

Sooo, after contemplating the amount of pension money I could save while incarcerated, (would that be "double dipping?"), I called them back. The harried CRA employee asked for my name. I said they just called me, so my name would be right there in front of him. He got agitated and demanded my name, I refused, he told me to "stick *your* name up *your* a$$, and go to he||"

I bet he wasn't really a Canadian because he didn't say "sorry".


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

winwintoo said:


> I just got a call from CRA, it was a recording, but it sounded really serious, like I'm in BIG trouble
> 
> Sooo, after contemplating the amount of pension money I could save while incarcerated, (would that be "double dipping?"), I called them back. The harried CRA employee asked for my name. I said they just called me, so my name would be right there in front of him. He got agitated and demanded my name, I refused, he told me to "stick *your* name up *your* a$$, and go to he||"
> 
> I bet he wasn't really a Canadian because he didn't say "sorry".


:lmao::clap::lmao::clap:

Good for you, mon ami.


----------

