# Are you tilt?



## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

I voted "Yes" (the first "Yes").


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## kps (May 4, 2003)

"All you tilts belong to us"


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

In Soviet Russia, tilt whirls YOU!


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Sounds like the HUAC loyalty oath ............ "Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the Communist party."


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## kps (May 4, 2003)

You're off tilt, Dr.G....stay tilted on the topic will ya.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

kps said:


> You're off tilt, Dr.G....stay tilted on the topic will ya.


"Are you now, or have you even been Tilt?" Answer the question honestly, kps.


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## kps (May 4, 2003)

I have answered the issue of being tilt by voting in the poll.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

kps said:


> I have answered the issue of being tilt by voting in the poll.


Not good enough. You should declare if you are or are not Tilt before God and this ehMacLand congregation. The Mayor has ways to make you talk and tell the truth ................. ways you can't even imagine. 

The choice is freely yours to make, my friend. Make this decision wisely.


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## Lichen Software (Jul 23, 2004)

And the lass said to the laddie "I dinna like the tilt of your kilt"


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## kps (May 4, 2003)

Dr.G. said:


> Not good enough. You should declare if you are or are not Tilt before God and this ehMacLand congregation. The Mayor has ways to make you talk and tell the truth ................. ways you can't even imagine.
> 
> The choice is freely yours to make, my friend. Make this decision wisely.


I....I.....plead.... conscientious objector status. So help me tilt!


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

kps said:


> I....I.....plead.... conscientious objector status. So help me tilt!


As one who obtained a Conscientious Objector status with his draft board, I personally shall accept this claim of conscience to remain silent on this matter. I shall stand beside you should the wrath of ehMax come down upon your head/soul. Paix, mon ami.


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## Guest (Mar 30, 2011)

I voted other ... I'm not tilt, just a bit tilted (sometimes more than others).


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## kps (May 4, 2003)

Thank you Dr.G...but I do not fear ehMax....it's ehTilt which sends shivers up my spine.


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

In the northern reaches of [_insert province name_], in the large but thinly-populated riding of Vauxhall-Firenza, fledgling candidate Mark Despot is getting ready to meet the press for the first time. His handlers in the New Libergreenative Bloc have prepared him well. He can speak at length about deficits, the environment, social programs, senate reform, unemployment, inflation, gas prices, regime changes, airborne radiation, and contempt, all within the bounds of his party’s platform.

He is happily married, with the requisite number of children, none of whom are pregnant. He has been gainfully employed at something so nondescript that he could not ever find himself in a conflict-of-interest situation. Extensive background checks on him and his family have revealed nothing more shocking than a predilection for Ricola lozenges, and an accidental Spoonerism of “fire truck” in his high school graduation valedictory speech.

He is, in short, the perfect candidate.

He saunters to the podium, confident that he has anticipated every question he might conceivably be asked. He smiles; he has great teeth. He waves; he has nice hands. His full, thick hair is a blend of salt and pepper so sublime that Lay’s would kill for the recipe (Betcha can’t vote just once). His new shoes gleam in the conference room light.

From among the many raised hands in the crowd of reporters before him, he chooses Reg Inkstain, from the local paper, _The Firenza Transmission_. 

“Mr. Inkstain.”

“Mr. Despot?”

“Call me Mark.”

“Uh, just one question of great import to the people of Vauxhall-Firenza, Mark.”

“And that is . . . ?” Here it comes. He shall dazzle them. They shall be putty in his hands.

“Are you tilt?”

“Excuse me?”

“Are you tilt?”

Something has gone wrong. He does not know if he is tilt. He has not been adequately prepared. 

How could this have happened? He changes his Facebook profile picture every three days. His Tweets are pre-screened by his children for coolness. A flash mob spelled his last name in the lacrosse box at Vauxhall High. Why, oh why, does he not know if he is tilt?

The room has gone silent. He senses the success of his entire campaign rests on his ability the answer this question correctly.

[_to be continued_] 
[_or not_]


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## Mckitrick (Dec 25, 2005)

If Tilt votes, does he end up in a "Being John Malkovich" type scene until he's dumped on the NJ Turnpike?

Tilt tilt tilt.. tilt? Tilt tilt. Tilt!


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

1: I knew him before he was Tilt.
2: _Before _he was Tilt? He has _always_ been Tilt.
1: What I meant to say was...
2: Blasphemy! Blasphemy against Tilt and the prophets!


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

kps said:


> Thank you Dr.G...but I do not fear ehMax....it's ehTilt which sends shivers up my spine.


No need to fear him, kps. He is a fine person, as it the mayor. Paix, mon ami.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Macfury said:


> 1: I knew him before he was Tilt.
> 2: _Before _he was Tilt? He has _always_ been Tilt.
> 1: What I meant to say was...
> 2: Blasphemy! Blasphemy against Tilt and the prophets!


Amen, Brother Macfury. As it is written in "The Book of Tilt", "I am that I am ........ that is all you need to know."

Paix, mon ami.


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

I voted "Other". Explanation: I am, therefore I exist as tilt


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## Macified (Sep 18, 2003)

The great and powerful Tilt has spoken. Pay no mind to that man behind the curtain.


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Gasp! Even tilt affirms not that he is tilt, but that he is Other.

His tiltness has spoken.

My world has tilted.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Sonal said:


> Gasp! Even tilt affirms not that he is tilt, but that he is Other.
> 
> His tiltness has spoken.
> 
> My world has tilted.


Much like your fancy hat, Sonal. Still, a world without Tilt .......... just like a world without Sonal, is not as bright or beautiful. Paix, mon amie.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

tilt said:


> I voted "Other". Explanation: I am, therefore I exist as tilt


I have seen the light, Brother Tilt.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Macified said:


> The great and powerful Tilt has spoken. Pay no mind to that man behind the curtain.


:lmao::lmao::lmao:


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

Sonal said:


> Gasp! Even tilt affirms not that he is tilt, but that he is Other.
> 
> His tiltness has spoken.
> 
> My world has tilted.


There is enough room in Tiltdom. It's like Star Wars - people take turns at being Queen 

Cheers


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

Dr.G. said:


> I have seen the light, Brother Tilt.


Rene Descartes must be turning in his grave 

Cheers


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

tilt said:


> There is enough room in Tiltdom. It's like Star Wars - people take turns at being Queen
> 
> Cheers


:clap::clap::clap:

"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of old Tilt: 
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored; 
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword: 
His truth is marching on."

(with apologies to Julia Ward Howe)


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

tilt said:


> There is enough room in Tiltdom. It's like Star Wars - people take turns at being Queen
> 
> Cheers


So are you Tilt or Tilt's decoy?


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Sonal said:


> Gasp! Even tilt affirms not that he is tilt, but that he is Other.
> 
> His tiltness has spoken.
> 
> My world has tilted.


This is one of your units, Tilt? It functions irrationally.


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## fjnmusic (Oct 29, 2006)

I am Tiltacus, and so is my wife.


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Like the Dire Straits song,

"Two men say they're tilt,
One of them must be wrong."


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Macfury said:


> This is one of your units, Tilt? It functions irrationally.


Nonsense. 

I have merely been tilted.


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

Sonal said:


> So are you Tilt or Tilt's decoy?


We prefer "Tilt's little helpers" to "decoys" Sonal.

Cheers


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## fjnmusic (Oct 29, 2006)

Full tilt.


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

Dr.G. said:


> Much like your fancy hat, Sonal. Still, a world without Tilt .......... just like a world without Sonal, is not as bright or beautiful. Paix, mon amie.


With me, flattery will get you everywhere Dr. G. 

Cheers


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Tilt comix skyrocket in value:


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

Paying fromage to the big cheese....


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

tilt said:


> With me, flattery will get you everywhere Dr. G.
> 
> Cheers


Both you and Sonal are important members of the ehMacLand community. Paix, mon ami.


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

KC4 said:


> Paying fromage to the big cheese....
> View attachment 19130


Nice choice with the blue stilton.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

KC4 said:


> Paying fromage to the big cheese....
> View attachment 19130


Good one, KC4. 

The statue of Tilt has now been erected in front of the ehMacLand City Hall.


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## FeXL (Jan 2, 2004)

Tilt wishes he was me...


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

You people seem to be cult-tilt-vating a new religion.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Kazak said:


> You people seem to be cult-tilt-vating a new religion.


"Tilt is my shepherd, 
I shall not want; 
He makes me lie down in green pastures. 
He leads me beside still waters; 
He restores my soul. 
He leads me in paths of righteousness 
for His name's sake. 

Even though I walk through the valley 
of the shadow of death, 
I fear no evil; 
for Tilt is with me; 
His untilted manner they comfort me. 

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me 
all the days of my life; 
and I shall dwell in the house of Tilt forever."

I hope that Tilt likes dogs because I am going to bring them with me when I "dwell in his house".


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

Maybe I should move to Oregon and start a new religious cult or commune. Should make a lot of money, free sex, drugs, lot of bull****ting (which I am great at). I think you folks have just shown me a new path 

And Dr.G, lots of dogs  I love dogs and I shall preach dogma in my new cult/commune.

Cheers


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

tilt said:


> Maybe I should move to Oregon and start a new religious cult or commune. Should make a lot of money, free sex, drugs, lot of bull****ting (which I am great at). I think you folks have just shown me a new path
> 
> And Dr.G, lots of dogs  I love dogs and I shall preach dogma in my new cult/commune.
> 
> Cheers


Lead on, oh honorable Tilt, and we shall follow. 

"Dogma" ............ :lmao::lmao::lmao:


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

*drink the Tilt-Aid!!*


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

In the beginning Tilt created the heaven and the earth.
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Tilt moved upon the face of the waters.
And Tilt said, Let there be light: and there was light.

--The Book of Tilt.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Sonal said:


> In the beginning Tilt created the heaven and the earth.
> And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of Tilt moved upon the face of the waters.
> And Tilt said, Let there be light: and there was light.
> 
> --The Book of Tilt.



And Tilt saw the light, that it was good: and he divided the light from the darkness. 

And Tilt called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. 

And Tilt said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. 

And Tilt said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so. 

And Tilt called the dry land ehMacLand.


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Dr.G. said:


> And Tilt saw the light, that it was good: and he divided the light from the darkness.
> 
> And Tilt called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
> 
> ...


And the Tile said, Let hops and barely grow on the dry land, and let them be steeped in the water with yeast until it ferments and a frothy beverage does arise from their combinings.

And Tilt called the frothy beverage Beer.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Sonal said:


> And the Tile said, Let hops and barely grow on the dry land, and let them be steeped in the water with yeast until it ferments and a frothy beverage does arise from their combinings.
> 
> And Tilt called the frothy beverage Beer.


But the children of ehMacLand did partake in this frothy beverage Beer far too much. And they built a golden calf to celebrate their break from the grips of Winter.

Tilt was angered and he climbed atop Mount Jinglestars, the highest peak in ehMacLand, and said unto the children of ehMacLand "I'll only erase from my book those who sin against me. On the day, though, when I settle accounts, your sins will certainly be part of the settlement." 

And Tilt sent a virus upon the people because of the calf they had made, and this plague was to be known as Windows.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

And God said unto Tilt: 'And as for thee, thou shalt keep My covenant, thou, and thy seed after thee throughout their generations. This is My covenant, which ye shall keep, between Me and you and thy seed after thee. And He commaded Tilt to obey and respect the daughters of his seed. And for the males ........


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

As it is written in The Book of Tilt -- "Life is not always fair."


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

Sonal said:


> And Tilt said, Let there be light: and there was light.


Oddly enough, in my Project Management classes, this is exactly what I use as my example project 



Dr.G. said:


> And Tilt sent a virus upon the people because of the calf they had made, and this plague was to be known as Windows.


I am a benevolent deity. I wouldn't unleash Windows on my worst enemy or the most errant of my devotees  I shall take away their Apple products as punishment though 

Cheers


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

*Wondering what in Tilt Nation is going on?*


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

tilt said:


> Oddly enough, in my Project Management classes, this is exactly what I use as my example project
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Benevolent .......... omnipotent ............ and a caring god. Cool.


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

tilt said:


> I am a benevolent deity. I wouldn't unleash Windows on my worst enemy or the most errant of my devotees  I shall take away their Apple products as punishment though
> 
> Cheers


I'll drink to that!


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

tilt is the word, is the word, that you heard
it's got groove, it's got meaning
tilt is the time, is the place, is the motion
and tilt is the way we are feeling


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Tilt he is just alright with me, tilt he is just alright, oh yeah
Tilt he is just alright with me, tilt he is just alright

I don't care what they may say
I don't care what they may do
I don't care what they may say
tilt he is just alright, oh yeah
tilt he is just alright


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

tilt, tilt, tilt
tilt is the word

No more time to fool with this, but it should be sung to the tune of "Surfin' Bird".





+
YouTube Video









ERROR: If you can see this, then YouTube is down or you don't have Flash installed.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

All intelligent life descended from the Tilt-Down Man!


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

In Tilt Nation, we have 1001 flavors...


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Including bartilt pear.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

The classic children's storybook:


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

I suppose if he was Scottish, it would be Ting Kilt by Sr. Duess?


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

SINC said:


> I suppose if he was Scottish, it would be Ting Kilt by Sr. Duess?


If tilt were Scotch he would wear Chuck Norris for a kilt  But tilt is Indian, so he cooks Butter Chucken Norris.

PS.: Is it pathetic that I make tilt-jokes?

Cheers


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

tilt said:


> PS.: Is it pathetic that I make tilt-jokes?
> 
> Cheers


By virtue of being tilt, you are immune from being pathetic.


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

*The real reason Mubarak decided to step his asp down.*


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Got a condo made of stone-a . . .


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

KC4 said:


> View attachment 19185


:lmao::clap::lmao:


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Kazak said:


> Got a condo made of stone-a . . .


Funky tilt! Born in Arizona, moved to Burlingtonia...


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## screature (May 14, 2007)

No I am not tilt, but it has been said that I am a little twisted.


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

screature said:


> No I am not tilt, but it has been said that I am a little twisted.


My god, that is like an Escher sketch!


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

Try This: Google For “Tilt” On Your iPhone | Cult of Mac


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

Tilt is reviving his own thread. That's power!


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## Ena (Feb 7, 2005)

So it's not too late to give 'tilt-a-whirl' !?!


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

Ena said:


> So it's not too late to give 'tilt-a-whirl' !?!


I'm so dizzzzzy my head is spinnin'.


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

tilt said:


> Try This: Google For “Tilt” On Your iPhone | Cult of Mac


What? Looks fine to me.






​


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Just spent a couple of hours with Tilt .......... the real Tilt ......... the one and only Tilt. He is a grand person, very friendly and intelligent. I now know how Moses felt when he was at the burning bush. Of course, had Moses not tried to warm his hands at the bush, when the crossed the Red Sea, God would have told him to turn in a different direction ........... and Israel would be sitting on all the oil in the Middle East. Such is Life.

Still, I have been to the mountain top and saw Tilt.


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

I have seen.
I believe. 
I am..... _tilt_.


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## DR Hannon (Jan 21, 2007)

"I am looking for tilt of ehmac land. He is to be released"

"I'm Tilt and so is my wife!!"


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

KC4 said:


> I have seen.
> I believe.
> I am..... _tilt_.





DR Hannon said:


> "I am looking for tilt of ehmac land. He is to be released"
> 
> "I'm Tilt and so is my wife!!"


No, the false prophet’s mission on earth is to force humanity to worship the Antitilt. There is only one true tilt ........ all others are either followers or poor copies. I have been to the mountain top (i.e., Signal Hill) with the real tilt, and have seen the promised land. Where once there was fog, there is now sunlight. 

I have seen the light, brothers and sisters. Paix, mes amis.


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

I am outraged that today is not an international holiday, as it is the anniversary of the day tilt came to walk among us. Surely eternity is not long enough to celebrate the birth of his tiltness.

Happiest of Happy Birthdays, oh tiltish one!


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

Happy Birthday your Slantedness!


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Kazak said:


> I am outraged that today is not an international holiday, as it is the anniversary of the day tilt came to walk among us. Surely eternity is not long enough to celebrate the birth of his tiltness.
> 
> Happiest of Happy Birthdays, oh tiltish one!


Here in Newfoundland and Labrador, his birthday is celebrated two hours after sundown, since that was when he was born back in his native land. So, by tradition, we celebrate his birthday from two hours after sundown to two hours after sundown tomorrow.

Since sundown was two hours ago, let the celebrations begin here in Canada. :clap:


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## screature (May 14, 2007)

Happy Birthday!! May this be a day that you get to go "full tilt".


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## macintosh doctor (Mar 23, 2009)

Tilt is a poker term for a state of mental or emotional confusion or frustration in which a player adopts a less than optimal strategy, usually resulting in the player becoming over-aggressive.


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

Wow! Thank you all! Well, we have one good thing that happened on my birthday - Sonal got engaged 

Cheers


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

macintosh doctor said:


> Tilt is a poker term for a state of mental or emotional confusion or frustration in which a player adopts a less than optimal strategy, usually resulting in the player becoming over-aggressive.


Sounds a lot like my life, so I guess the name fits eh! 

Cheers


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

tilt said:


> Wow! Thank you all! Well, we have one good thing that happened on my birthday - Sonal got engaged
> 
> Cheers


Now why do I think that happened the day before?


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## macintosh doctor (Mar 23, 2009)

tilt said:


> Sounds a lot like my life, so I guess the name fits eh!
> 
> Cheers


Happy birthday


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

Happy Day of Birth, Oh Great leaning one.

I shall celebrate by tilting a margarita.


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

SINC said:


> Now why do I think that happened the day before?


That's because you are immune to the tilt's RDF Sinc


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

The Celebration of Tilt, as it is called here in NL, is still going full swing and shall not end until the gala finale two hours after sundown tonight. Party on, Wayne.


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

A key question is how many of us have actually seen and met and spoken with Tilt????? I have ............... does that make me an apostle?


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

tilt said:


> Wow! Thank you all! Well, we have one good thing that happened on my birthday - Sonal got engaged
> 
> Cheers


We could not have picked a more auspicious day, your Slantedness.


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

Sonal said:


> We could not have picked a more auspicious day, your Slantedness.


I don't remember the day I got engaged, but I can now never forget yours! 

Cheers


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

Dr.G. said:


> A key question is how many of us have actually seen and met and spoken with Tilt????? I have ............... does that make me an apostle?


Well, it has been written in "The Book of Leaning" that The Tilt has indeed had the privilege of meeting and lifting a glass with KC4 and FeXL in Calgary.

Cheers


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## KC4 (Feb 2, 2009)

tilt said:


> Well, it has been written in "The Book of Leaning" that The Tilt has indeed had the privilege of meeting and lifting a glass with KC4 and FeXL in Calgary.
> 
> Cheers


Does that make us Apisstles?


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## Dr.G. (Aug 4, 2001)

Dr.G. said:


> Sounds like the HUAC loyalty oath ............ "Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the Communist party."





KC4 said:


> Does that make us Apisstles?


Mock ye not the ways of His Tiltness.


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## screature (May 14, 2007)

KC4 said:


> Happy Day of Birth, Oh Great leaning one.
> 
> I shall celebrate by tilting a margarita.


:lmao: Have one for me KC4... only a few months from now and I will be having several in their birthplace.


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

KC4 said:


> Does that make us Apisstles?


The kids in Bristol are sharp as Apisstles...


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## Kazak (Jan 19, 2004)

Happy 50th, tilt.

Hope it's as un-traumatic as mine was, a scant 65 days ago.


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## Chris (Feb 8, 2001)

Happy birthday, old fella!


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## SINC (Feb 16, 2001)

Hey tilt! Many more!


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## johnp (Aug 7, 2011)

Have a great day tilt ... good wishes and cheer!!


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## Sonal (Oct 2, 2003)

'tis the day of His birth!

Happy Tiltmas!


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## Macfury (Feb 3, 2006)

50? That's a Tiltonic shift!


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## fjnmusic (Oct 29, 2006)

Happy Tilt-day to the one and only truly original! And just you wait, all you Tilt wanna-be's.


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## tilt (Mar 3, 2005)

Kazak said:


> Happy 50th, tilt.
> 
> Hope it's as un-traumatic as mine was, a scant 65 days ago.





Chris said:


> Happy birthday, old fella!





SINC said:


> Hey tilt! Many more!





johnp said:


> Have a great day tilt ... good wishes and cheer!!





Sonal said:


> 'tis the day of His birth!
> 
> Happy Tiltmas!





Macfury said:


> 50? That's a Tiltonic shift!





fjnmusic said:


> Happy Tilt-day to the one and only truly original! And just you wait, all you Tilt wanna-be's.


Thank you all!

Kazak, I spent half of it struggling to get my wife's ancient and very dead MacBook up and running to be able to support her new iPhone 5, so it wasn't as untraumatic as yours I am afraid  However, we did get iPhone 5s for ourselves and all's well in the tiltdom 

So, I guess you could call it Tilt-Friday and TiltEaster because my friends, the MacBook, she has risen from the dead 

Cheers


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